Help! Baby Screaming When with Dad!

I am a working mom and my husband stays home with our 5 month old. I was kinda worried about my hubby and how he would handle the stay at home dad role, but he has done great. Our daughter is a very happy baby, but sometimes she gets fussy (her diaper is changed and she is fed) but she just wants mommy so she fusses. My hubby takes her outside in the yard and she quiets right down. She loves being outside (he has a sun hat for her and keeps her in the shade). He will sit outside with her and play with our dog. Anyway your hubby needs to keep a routine with your baby and just keep trying new things to keep baby happy.

Hi Jonna Marie - Please encourage your husband to not give up! Babies are smart little creatures! They can smell fear better than any animal! : )

My best guess would be that your husband has your son on a slightly different routine than what your son is used to - if it involves feeding times - it could lead to abdominal distress in the baby (and dad!). It could also be that your husband allows him to fuss just a tiny bit longer than you or the daycare does and perhaps it's led to some insecurity. Babies thrive on routine - putting dad on a schedule might help. Then again - dad and baby both might benefit from a change of scenery like going for a stroller walk. You might also consider letting dad do some more caretaking while you are home so baby realizes that having dad around doesnt equal a missing mom.

best of all things to you and your family!

Babies go through the "favorite" stage often. Men and daddies get the brunt of that most of the time. Though your hubby feels awful, please reassure him it is normal and not personal. My son did this, I was the only one that could calm him down if I picked him up. With my daughter, her daddy could soothe her in a second! :)
Until the baby gets what the routine is, change of any sorts can throw them out of sorts. Just keep telling your husband in time it will all be okay. Make sure your hubby, daycare provider and you all are on the same schedule with the baby too. If your hubby is getting stressed, babies pick up on that very quickly. Hang tough it is normal.

i know it is distressing to know your baby is upset, but i'd let the two of them (dad & baby) work it out. Besides, one day is not enough to declare things lost. Let them figure out their own way... your husband will figure out his own games, comforting, etc. It is difficult to walk away and let them sort it out, but believe me it is soooooo worth it (pays-off if you want/need to go out of town or mom's night out, etc.) Plus this is their own time to bond and form their own relationship... encourage your husband, he'll soon gain confidence in his own abilities to "mother" his child. things get pretty mom-centric (esp if nursing) in the early days, dads get kind of left out.

Hey Jonna,

Baby's make up all kinds of things in their little heads when the things in their world change. Bonding with the day care and acting out with Dad may be a response to some confusion and hurt he is feeling right now about being taken to day care. It is very likely your child may think he may have a chance to get through to Dad about his distress - especially since he had him for two weeks before going to day care. While it is difficult if I were Dad I would see it as a compliment rather than an insult. I hope this response doesn't make you feel bad about working - you still have do what is necessary and it is great the child gets to be with Dad part time as well. Even if the child is good at day care doesn't mean it is an easy transition. Due to the change and timing of behavior I think it is simply saying that he wants Dad more than day care (for things to go back to how they were). That's my take and I hope it at least helps Dad not take it so personally. My best advice is keep showering him with all of the love and understanding about his little world changing as you can if you can't both be home with him. Don't pull away Dad - you let this little guy know in whatever way you can communicate to him that you are going to get through this together. He'll pick up on your loving strength and will eventually adjust to this change. There is no doubt that he loves Daddy immensely!

Sincerely,

D.

It may take your son a while to get used to daddy, who may do things a little differently than you.

I wanted to ask. How was it to "start over" with a newborn when you have a teen? I'm in the same situation. Just wondering? Thanks and good luck!!!

My first boy hated being with dad for the first year. He was breastfed, except when we(my husband and I) went out alone. Not sure why, but he was great with me and did fine with sitters. Your husband may be doing things differently than you, which may throw the baby off a bit. But, if your husband can be patient, it's good for baby to learn daddy's style too. Encourage your man.

Oh that's so hard! I've gone through the baby fav stages with all 3 of my children. The first was the hardest because I felt so guilty whenever I was the favorite. Not only did I always reassure my husband that it was normal and not about him, when it was his turn to get to be the prince, I always smiled for him and remembered that I'm thankful my children have someone (even if it's not me) to feel secure and loved with. Just keep reminding him that the stage will pass and then when he's the fav, you can be happy for both of them. You'll both get your turns to be on both sides...lol, and it never really ends...it turns into a child wanting to sit next to one parent more than the other, etc. Even once my children could communicate, I did and still say things like,"I'm so glad you love your daddy...he's so nice and he's so cute!" They smile and giggle and I know they have such a great level of security with us!

Wow, I went through this and I'm the Mom!!! One week your kid loves you and you know how to soothe them, the next week nothing you do helps at all! Give it a few weeks. The most important thing is to STAY CALM and LOVING through it all. Kids sense when we're stressed. I always followed the "Clean Diaper, Full Belly" rule. If both those were good, then all I could do was love them through whatever they were going through. With my kids it was a lot of stomach problems and cholic. When my oldest was 20 months old she would even scream when someone else held her car seat!!!! It was terrible. I'm rambling, but hang in there. You're all learning together, and nothings constant but change :)

Hello!! First of all... DON'T PANIC!!! That goes for your husband too. My baby wouldn't stay with his dad alone, without making him wish he were dead. His dad (Dave, since everyone needs a name) would call me at my parttime job (when I finally got one) begging me to come back home, RIGHT NOW. Sometimes, I wouldn't even make it down the road before the cell phone rang. It's all a matter of time. Baby wants his momma, and there is nothing wrong with that! Your husband just needs to try to keep his wits about him, and it WILL pass. Pretty soon your little boy will realize how fun daddy is, and he will go to him instead of you sometimes! (not often, but it does happen... i know, hard to believe). If baby is screaming, and dad is getting frustrated, have dad put baby into his crib, and walk away. Find a mirror, give himself a pep talk, and that way even if baby isn't ready dad will keep his cool. Like I said, I never thought I would be able to leave my little one with his father, but they do start to realize mom is coming back, and dad isn't such a bad guy either. Good luck, let us know how it goes!!

We went through the exact same thing when I went back to work. I teach night classes at a local university and on the nights I teach, Daddy is on full-time baby duty. Our daughter was frustrated when she was alone with Daddy and Daddy was frustrated, felt like a failure, didn't know how to "help" her, didn't know what she wanted, etc. What I realized is that they both needed time to really get to know each other. It might sound silly but Daddy hadn't spent the time I had with her to understand her noises, cries and subtleties. However, it got better within a couple of weeks — they both just needed time to bond, find their way together and solidify their connection. Now our daughter is comfortable with both of us and Daddy is so confident in feeding, bathing and putting her down for a nap or for bed at night. Give it some time ... this too shall pass. Good luck!