Help Getting My Daughter to Stay in Bed

I did what the Nanny suggested and for the most part it works.....take her hand - walk her back to bed and say nothing. Everytime she gets out just do that - she willl get no attention and wind up back in bed. YOu can give her a kiss if you want - but say nothing......after a couple of nights I think it will get boring for her. Oh - do it at nap time too......Hope it works for you.....:)

We had a similar problem with my twins when we took them out of their crib when they were about 2 years 3 months. I actually called a sleep consultant, who told me that until they are 3, they don't really have the self control to stay in bed (although my older daughter had done fine when we transitioned her from a crib to a bed... so I guess it depends on the child).
Anyway... we wound up putting a gate at the door of their room. At first, they would scream for a long time. I'd do the whole ferber thing. I'd let them cry 5 minutes, then poke my head out of my room and say "Mama's here, go back to sleep." Then I'd let them cry 10 minutes and come back out again and say "mama's here." then 15 minutes...
What I wound up doing that really helped was to put a big down blanket near the door. That way, when I'd say "go to sleep" I sometimes added "go to sleep on the blanket" and they would just plop down and sleep on the blanket by the door. Worked like a charm.

Of course, you mentioned that your daughter can open the gate. Perhaps buying a gate she can't open would be helfpul. We have one you need to step on. My five year old daughter can open it but our boys cannot (yet). I assume by the time they can open it, I won't really need it anyway... Having a gate up is like making the room one big crib...

Also, if she does get out of the room, just take her gently by the arm and walk her back to the room. Don't talk to her, don't negotiate. She wants to engage you. If you just keep bringing to her room over and over and over (yes, it may take like 30 times), then she'll understand you will not let her be out of the room. The first night or two will be tough, but it will get better when she realizes you mean business.

maybe its time to cut out the naps during the daytime so she will be tired enough to go to bed at nighttime. My twins were about two and a half also when they were giving me problems and once they stopped napping they were knocked out by 7:30, 8 pm the latest. Every now and then when they do fall asleep in the car and take a full nap they stay up until 9 sometimes 10pm so I try to avoid naps at all costs.

My daughter is about the same age and we have been struggling with this too. I've actually started laying with her and rubbing her. Some people might not want to do this but it's been working, we'll lay with her and say "we will be right back" and then she eventually falls asleep. I also have twilight turtle which helps a lot. Hope this helps

So if you have tried all of the responses ahead of me, and they don't work, "reward". We had a similar issue with my son, my husband figured out to leave the light on in the hall bath (he talked to my son about it). Also, we "rewarded" him with M&M's. He really likes the candy and we told him if he stayed in bed he would get some when he woke up in the morning. I'd give him a couple, when he stayed in bed the first few nights, and he didn't need much reward after. But it worked for us, and it was only a short term reward. Do you know if there is any reward that would satisfy your daughter? She will need a reason to stay in bed to stay there, if the routine way isn't working.

Good luck!

I know you must be really frustrated but this is only temporary. Be consistent with you bed time routine and tucking her in at night. Should he get up from bed keep taking her back to bed and explaining that it is time for nap or bedtime and big girls sleep in big girl bes. Also do not punish her by taking away something that comforts her you don't want to care her nor make her room a place of punishment not at this junction. is she scared or is she not wanting to miss out on something? Maybe since she is the oldest you can give her something special and she can sleep with that or when she does sleep in her bed or nap then have something truly special for her so she knows that she did a good job. Be positive and reassuring it shall pass and it will get better. Best of luck.

WE are working on the same thing with our 20 month old. We just keep putting him back in and telling him that he needs to stay where he is put. After a couple tries - he does. I think the key is just patience. Just gotta keep putin her back until she gets it. Good luck

Try rewarding her for staying in her bed. Make a chart and let her earn stickers or smily faces and she can earn things for a specific amount of stickers, or she may jus tbe happy with the stickers.

I went through a similar experience with my daughter. My advice is that she is not ready for a bed...put her back in her crib. At least you know she is safe there and cant get in to trouble.

I tried everything you are trying and reached my wits end. It was our pediatrician who suggested I go back to the crib....and wouldn't you know it...he was right. As soon as I put her back in the crib she was so HAPPY. I left the bed in her room and we slowly moved her in to it one nap at a time. When she was ready it was obvious.

have you tried threatening to put her back in her crib if she can't stay in her bed? just a thought.

I hope this does not sound horrible but I had the same problem with my daughter, so I put a child lock on the handle of her door (plastic cover for the door knob) The door was not locked but she was unable to open it. I explained that once she could stay in her bed at night that I would take it off. She was getting out of bed in the middle of the night, wandering around the house, going into the baby's room, etc. I was concerned for her safety and this was the best solution for us. I also had a monitor in her room so if she really needed me for something she could call for me.

I agree with Susan K. - just be very consistent and keep putting her back. We told my son, once you are upstairs and in your room/bed for bedtime, you are not allowed to come back downstairs or to leave your room. The only exception is to go to the bathroom.

When he was little, if he left his room, we just immediately picked him up and put him back in bed. We never yelled or got upset, just calmly told him, it is bedtime now, no more playing, time to get to sleep. He was NEVER allowed to come downstairs after his pjs were on and now he understands and doesn't ever try to come down - he just lays in he bed and goes to sleep. He will call us upstairs if he needs something, but he never leaves his room.

Good luck! It will just take some time and message but she will eventually understand.

Hi, M.! I have three children, ages 19, 11, and 5, so I've had a lot of experience with bedtimes!

The most important thing, I've found, is to have a regular rhythm at bedtime (at our house it's pajamas, teethbrushing, story and candle) It's the exact same every night. Build in whatever your child asks for or needs, like a glass of water. Then when she gets up, calmly take her back to bed, without giving any special attention to her. I've found a calm and matter-of-fact attitude helps a LOT!

A couple of other thoughts...make sure she's not overtired at bedtime. My kids all went to bed at 7 or 7:30 at that age. I think they need a lot more sleep than we realize. (11 or 12 hours!) Also make sure she's getting enough outside time and not too much TV time!! It's hard to settle down to sleep otherwise.

Keep in mind, this too shall pass!!

Hope this helps.

-J.

We have the same problem with my daughter. A few things have "worked" for us... I say that in quotes, b/c it is nothing like the bedtime routine we used to have. First of all, we need to stay in the room until she is asleep. That hasn't changed since the bedtime difficulties started. But now we let her play quietly in her room for about a 1/2 hour, then I give her a little massage with lotion. We shut off the light and sit there until she falls asleep. If she gets up I do the 1, 2, 3 thing. If she gets up once I say that's one... then two. If I get to three I walk out of the room. SHe usually follows, so I go back in letting her know that if she gets up again, I will leave again.

Another thing that people have said worked, is to sit in the room until she falls asleep, then slowly through the weeks work the chair closer to the door, then have the chair outside the door (but with the door open). That seemed to work for a friend of mine, and I am close to trying that myself. Good Luck, I feel your pain :)