J.N.
L., I feel your pain! My first child did the same thing and it was awful! He was the same age and I had a six week old at the time. Long story about why we had to move him out of his crib but it won't help you to tell my story with that. I had to leave him in his room with the door closed and he would bang, take clothes out of his drawers and eventually fall asleep by the door. It was terrible but he had to work it out for himself. When he would wake up I would make him help me put all his clothes back in the drawers (not neat but it helped him understand)before we could leave. Eventually, he didn't want to do that anymore and he gave in to sleep,etc. It did take a few months (long months). I think this is a personality thing because he takes a long time with changes like this - you don't even want to know my potty training story with him. Talk about stubborn! You can try the gate thing too if it helps. We didn't but I know others who say it helped. Later on in the process, he wanted the door opened too and we said we would leave the door open if he didn't come out. That was effective in the later stages but not early on. Early on, I could not get engaged in the drama or I lost it and he seemed to be getting what he wanted - to see me and draw me in. Good luck and know that it isn't you. My second child transitioned to his big boy bed with no trouble. Whatever you do, stay consistent and find what works for your child.