Help! Mostly Potty Trained Son Suddenly Starting to Have Accidents....

My 3 year old did this very thing about 2 weeks ago. He was doing great for about 3 months in a row. Never one accident then all of a sudden he's peeing his pants without a care and it proceeded to poop too. I was clueless. My first son never did this. I wasn't sure whether to back off, go back to diapers or pull ups or retrain him. I ended up stepping back with him and started reminding him to go potty again. I did end up using pull up for a few days just to help me with not having to clean up. I told him that he could wear underwear again when he didn't have any more accidents. After about 5 days he was right back on track again (?)
Best Regards,
C.

This sounds so baffling, M.. It's also an amazingly common situation. If you were to ask your son what his understanding of the situation is, he might reveal the best path forward from here. You might try making a quiet time together, with your focus on your son and some quiet activity like coloring, and make an observation:

"Joey, I was so happy for you that you were using the potty so you wouldn't have to use diapers any more. Now I notice that you're having accidents every day. And we all have to stop whatever we're doing to get you cleaned up. I notice that takes even longer than if you just use the potty, doesn't it?" Try to keep the tone purely factual, reporting your feelings and the new pattern that's emerging. Then be silent for awhile, and go on coloring, and see what he has to say.

He may tell you that it's too hard to remember all the time, which would indicate he's not quite ready to accept the full commitment. If this is the case, I would cheerfully offer to put him back in diapers. He will be ready, and want to potty like a big boy, soon, and with no pressure to train for someone else's sake, he will train for his own sake. And when that happens, the training will be very fast and self-directed. Just like when he was ready to walk, he probably went from a couple of awkward steps to a determined walk in a matter of days.

He may tell you other things, as well. Perhaps he'd like you to remind him more often. Or less often; perhaps he's just feeling pressured and a bit resentful. If you're able to find out what's actually happening from his own viewpoint, you will have a clearer sense of how to proceed.

I strongly recommend the wonderful and practical book titled How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk. I've used this approach with my Grandboy 4.5 to very good effect. He's amazingly cooperative and sensitive to other people's needs once he's convinced that his own emotional needs have been taken into account.

relax, dont stress, it will effect it. bribery is a very misunderstood and under exaggerated parenting tool.

im sure theres something hes had his eye on, that will make going in the potty much much easier for him., with my first daughter, it was a barbie house.

My daughter is 3 and has been potty trained for a year. Every once in a while she still has accidents and they seem to go in little spurts, like she will have a few days where she has accidents every day, and then she will have none for a month or two, or longer. This has been going on for a year and I think it is just a regular part of the potty training process. I wouldn't make a big deal of it - rather, just remind him that pee goes in the potty and use positive reinforcement to continue the potty training. (Please don't make your son clean up himself and berate him - this could cause more problems. Positive reinforcement always works better than negative reinforcement!) Good luck - I am sure he will be accident free in no time!

I'm a huge believer in natural consequences. If a teen or adult peed or pooped in their pants, they would have to clean themselves and their own clothing up. A 3 year old can also do it. My personal opinion is that a he should be required to remove his own clothing, put it in a predetermined place, go get his clean clothing and redress himself. He's a big boy. In the case of poo, I always stood my kids in the bathtub and had them remove their clothing, place it in a bucket and clean themselves off. Yes, you probably need to help some, but make them do the majority of the work. Then, take their poopy clothing and make THEM rinse it off. I would take it into the backyard and have them use a hose on it. Then I would make them take it and place it in the washer. Yes, it is a lot to expect of a 3 year old, but they are capable. It also will take some of the frustration away from you. Don't scold him, just say "oh my, you had an accident. Ok - well, big boys have accidents, and then they clean them up". No anger, no scolding, no irritation, just matter of fact. Sometimes it takes weeks or months to get through, but it gets there.