Training Pants -- When to Stop?

Updated on April 21, 2010
L.W. asks from Dulles, VA
10 answers

I'm wondering if anyone has experience with training pants actually hindering potty training after a certain amount of time. (I'm talking about thick cotton underwear, NOT pull-ups.)

We have been working with our 3.5 year old daughter on PT for just over 1 year, meaning she mainly gets it by now, but there are still days when she pees her pants as much as up to 3 times max over the course of 1 day. When peeing in the pants happens, it seems like she doesn't notice (usually she's distracted in play). She mostly just wears Gerber's training pants all day (especially this winter she had lots of backsliding and lots of pee accidents, so we have just kind of kept in a holding pattern in those instead of consciously graduating to only thinner "big girl" undies), but sometimes she does choose regular undies. I guess if I think about it, it's mainly been my unconscious decision to keep her primarily in TP because the clean-up/fallout from accidents is much less serious.

I started to get her a new set of training pants when I noticed some pairs were getting small, but then it occurred to me: maybe that is the wrong approach, and we actually need to get OUT of the TP by now, that maybe they are working at cross purposes with PT at this stage. After too long, just like diapers or diaper pull-ups are supposed to confuse a kid and hinder PT, does overuse of TP hinder a kid's learning in a similar way, not letting her feel all the wetness (people say "kids hate feeling wet" but when it happens my daughter does not care a whit, I swear to you) and not giving her a proper lesson in what going or not going to the potty in time means in terms of the consequences?

Any thoughts based on your experiences? Am I crazy and delinquent for not thinking about this and letting her stay about 95% in training pants for 12 months?

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So What Happened?

Thank you for all the advice! I guess I probably knew deep down even as I was writing my question that this is the way to go, to leave the training pants at the door and just go the rest of the way to big girl undies.

We have done that now for a few days, with explanation and reminders to my daughter about the switch and what it means, and we don't intend to go back. So far so good: no accidents yet! Maybe this was the help from the big people that she needed to get the rest of the way to potty trained! Thanks again for the help -- we have a mailbox in Virginia, but we really are living overseas, in Tajikistan, so sometimes I feel a bit isolated and want to check in with other American parents... This site is great for that.
Good luck to everyone in whatever stages they are in!

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

Training pants are mostly for the convenience of the parent. As you say, they make accidents easier to clean up. At 3.5, she should have a grasp of what is expected, but there is no down-side for her. My suggestion would be to take her to the store for some cute big girl panties, let her pick out the ones she wants(they have Disney characters,etc.), and make a big fuss about being a "big girl". Throw all the trainers out, and each and every accident is handled by her, with you coaching her about what needs to be done, but not doing it for her. "Oh, I see you're wet. You need to take the wet ones off. Now put clean ones on. Now put the wet ones in the laundry(or stand at the bathroom sink and wash the poopy ones). Now clean up any puddles on the floor. Then you can go back to playing." No criticizing, no punishment, just taking care of business. This is no different than having her pick up her toys. "You made the mess, you need to clean it up. " She won't wash too many panties before she realizes it's more trouble than it's worth. Good luck.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

At this stage I would put her in regular big girl undies all day. I know it is more work for you to clean up but if she is mostly potty trained then you need to get her the rest of the way. In some ways TP are just like diapers in that it doesn't make a big mess and if Mommy seems ok with accidents in the TP then she will be ok with it. It is a lot more clean up with big girl undies but she will learn that it is easier to just use the potty instead of going in her pants and having to stop playing for a longer time to get new pants and undies and clean the floor etc. At 3.5 she should be more than capable of staying dry all day. I dont think you are crazy. Really who wants to clean up accidents if we dont have to? But I think you need to get out of your comfort zone to get your daughter the rest of the way to being fully potty trained. Good luck !

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't know....after my son was trained completely, I still used those gerber training pants as undies, because I liked how they fit him and he didn't have accidents in them....hmmmm....
I think a year to potty train is very long. Once they are ready, they usually get it fairly quick.
If you are home with her, maybe consider bottomless (or dresses and no undies for a week or two then go right to big girl pants.
And I don't think you're crazy or delinquent! LOL

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S.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I liked the training pants. But they are expensive. We used the gerber ones until my son grew out of their 2T and switched to regular underwear. He didn't seem to notice any difference.

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

I dont think training pants help or hinder training.. they just keep the pee or poo from making a big mess formom to clean up.

training pants still feel wet... and that is the mesagae that you want the child to get.. pee in your pants and it feels wet. of course if your child pees and keeps playing it doesnt matter what kind of pants she has on.. she would keep on playing in a pull up training pants or regular undies..

My son potty trained in 3 days for pee.. he is totally dry.. but we still have issues with poop so he is in trianing pants as the pant do contain the mess.

I would keep her in trainng pants for as long as it takes.. unless if you get her Dora pantis and tell her not to pee on dora.. it makes a big difference and she keeps the special panties dry..

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J.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Don't beat yourself up. What's in the past has passed. I would definintely not get bigger training pants. My suggestion is to go to big girl panties and she will be more aware when she has accidents. Tell her that if she wants to stay in big girl panties, then she needs to not have accidents. If she has an accident (or 2 or 3 - your judgment here) tell her the consequence is to go back to baby diapers. Make it easy to succeed by reminding her every 2 hours or so (or a short amount of time before you think she should need to go). Most day care centers have all the kids go around the same time, before snack, lunch, outdoor play, etc. There's a reason for that... it works! This is just my suggestion. I hope it helps. Good luck.
J.

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S.R.

answers from San Francisco on

We didn't use training pants. We went straight from diapers to big boy underwear. The first week was kinda hard but after that we maybe have an accident a week, sometimes none and sometimes more. He does wear pullups at night, he hasn't mastered that yet and we call them night time underwear.

I do agree with a previous post about letting her pick out undies. They don't want to pee on their favorite characters. =)

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

When my son was in pre-k, we had some big changes at home and he started to wet his pants. It always seemed to be when he was busy with something and just did not want to stop. It ony lasted about 2 weeks and was tied to the changes at home but one thing we and the teacher did was ask him before they started an activity to go to the bathroom. It did help a bit and this may be something to help her as well.

A.S.

answers from Dallas on

I let my boy run around with no pants on at home around that age and he was more sensitive to going in the toilet when he had too. Even though he is 4, if he is wearing his training pants at night, he will go in them because he knows that is their purpose.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I never realized the difference between "training pants" and non training pants with accidents. When they occurred, the was a puddle regardless. I would move her to underwear all the time. If the training pants are controlling her accidents, she isn't feeling the wetness and she has no reason to go to underwear. At 3 1/2 she is more than ready to graduate to panties. I found with my daughter, letting her pick her own potty and her own panties at that age went a long way.

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