Help!! My Baby Girl Wants to Be Held Constantly!!!

hi D.,
i have a five week old that does the same thing! i just started using a sling and she loves it! this method keeps both hands free, so it is less frustrating for me as well. she falls asleep in the sling and i wait until she is deep in sleep then leave her in it, but put her down and she stays asleep! hope this helps!:)

6 WEEKS is very young. I think you need to give this a little more time. THe baby has been "held" by you for 40 weeks. Just b/c she's OUTSIDE, doesn't mean that the protection should be over. She feels vulnerable and craves the comfort of you. I agreee with a previous post, cherish it now. My 20 month old son is still a "cuddle-monster" , I hope he stays that way. We are very close b/c I held him so much as a baby. My doctor says there is no such thing as spoiling an infant with love.

Well you say she does not want to be put down: what does she DO when you put her down, is she awake yet happy? Or is she awake and screaming her brains out? Cause at 6 weeks old it is OKAY to put them down when they're awake, even if crying, provided you've ruled out all the things that could make them be crying: check diaper? Are they hungry? Could they have a burp that hasn't come out yet, cause that hurts? Are they laying on a tag that's itching them, or a diaper that's too tight and the plastic's cutting into their little leg or tummy making them uncomfortable? Laying on a bump in the sheet or blanket can be uncomfortable and even make a baby cry! My youngest has the same problem right now, she's almost 3 months old, and wakes the very SECOND I try to put her down off my chest. If I know she's well, clean diaper, fed, been burped, check that nothing's hurting her... I mean, sometimes if you have long hair, a hair can get tangled in their fingers and kinda hurt and they'll scream over THIS! I've actually had that happen so I know, can you imagine? Babies are funny, the little things that they'll cry over! But provided they're all set, sometimes they cry cause they just want to be held. You can only hold them so much, I mean, you have a life. When you have to put her down, just do it. If her screaming sounds panicked or goes on for a long time, go talk to her, reassure her you're here, pick her up for a bit, then put her back down. At 6 weeks that was about when my baby was doing that the most, freaking out over seemingly nothing. Now she's pretty much content as long as she's fed and clean. It's that age, I think. And it's not going to be long before she'll develop ways to amuse herself and you'll be a bit more off the hook then you are! Now, when I put Evelyn down, she still almost always wakes up, but usually she'll just start sucking her fingers and looking around, and not cry until she's hungry again :) Good luck!

hello, I may actually be able to help you seeing that my daughter was the same way, at first! There is a machine that puts out the sounds of heartbeats and sounds of the womb. I had the same problem of my daughter sleeping on my chest but when the doctor told me it may be that she was soothed by my heartbeat I purchased this and she slept in her crib with no problems after that. The machine that I purchased only cost $14.95 and was called The Voice activated crib light, made by One step ahead.I know they make more expensive ones but this one did the trick and it was cheap. I hope this helps!

Get the book "The happiest baby on the block" It will help explain to you how your baby feels etc. It is written by a pediatrician.His methods work. bottom line is that your baby is still too young. get a sling and wear her. when my kids were young I wore them all the time. you can get your work done and baby is happy. I recommend reading this book it will help you. and you cannot spoil a baby that young.

Hi D.,

I had the same problem with my daughter, and all I can say is that when she got older it got better! I think that alot of newborns do this just because it helps them to feel safe and secure. Cherish it now cause when she starts crawling she won't want to be held at all! I'm dreading this happening with my little one as she soo close to crawling! It will get better!!

Hi Dumont, I'm in New Milford. My son is 12 weeks today. He still wakes up sometimes when I put him down. What works for us is to wait until he is rather deeply asleep to put him down. During the lighter stages of sleep he will move around some so I know not to move him yet. I hold him close to my body while moving him. Keep the mattress at it's highest setting and lean in as far as possible when you put her down. During the day I'll set him in his swing or bouncer seat, if he wakes up that's OK. So long as he is not crying he'll stay there for a half hour at a time with no problem. Try to keep her awake for longer periods of time during the day so she goes right back down after the middle of the night feedings. Good luck and I hope you found a job closer to home. Bergen County has some great hospitals.

Have you tried wrapping one of your shirts that you worn around her while she is asleep. It has your scent on it and she will think you are still laying down next to her.

You have to understand that your baby girl was in your womb for the past 9 months or more. She has to get adjusted to the environment and all the space. Believe me give her a couple more weeks to adjust and she will grow out of wanting to be held constantly. When the baby starts getting overwhelming you should call someone over to give you a break from the baby. Believe you me enjoy holding your beautiful baby girl as long as you can, because one day she will not want you to hold her.

Fortunately I know exactly where you are coming from. My daughter was born a 4lb peanut and of course everyon had to hold her so when I came home from family functions she would not go down, and she ate eery 2 hours so it was really bad. Try putting her in the swing or pack and play around you after she has eaten and slept in your arms for 15-20 mins or so, so she is feed has slept a little and content. If she hears you or sees you it might not make it that bad. Eventually she will want to go to sleep and when she does she will obviously want you. Just walk over to the pack N play and run your fingers across her forhead. As you know when anyone rubs your head you could go right off to sleep. Same effect her and your not holding her. Try that for a few minutes until she falls asleep. If she gets really stressed than pick her up and put her to sleep in your arms but try to put her down just before she falls completely asleep. It WILL take a few times. She has to learn to fall asleep on her own. Then you could try to put her down in her cradle or bassinett and when she starts to cry after 1 min walk back in and then 2 mins each time extending the time between when you walk back in. Stay with her until she settles down, a couple of minutes is fine. If she really gets going then put her to sleep in your arms and try to put her down once she falls asleep and try it again the next night. That is about the same time my daughter when through it as well. It will get better and she will eventually learn on her own. My daughter is just about 11lbs now and 4 months old she still sleeps in the same room but once I put her down in the cradle she plays until she falls asleep. When you put her down for the night use the same routine, sound machine or mobile. I have both. I put her down turn on the sound machine, wrap her up and wind up her mobile. I kiss her good night and walk out. 9 out of 10 time she plays and falls asleep. Hope this works if you want to email me feel free. I went through this for a long time.. I know how it is. We have just recently graduated to 4 hours between feedings. Yay..
Good luck, Sorry so long I hope I have helped.
T.

I feel for you - it can be extremely tiring and stressful! And especially overwhelming as you both are making a transition from having your little angel in your belly to being in your arms.

It might help you to know that both of you are experiencing perfectly natural things - she wants you, and you want to take a break.

Something that many women I know have found helpful is babywearing. That means, using a snugli, or a wrap, or something of that nature, to keep your baby close like she needs to be, and free your arms up so that you don't feel so trapped and ovewhelmed.

Some of the types I'm most familiar with are, Moby Wraps (great for Kangaroo carrying), Maya Wraps, Snuglis and BabyTrekkers, but there are many others. They are great for bonding too, and studies show better cognitive development for babies who are kept close to their moms, as well as lower rates of post-partum depression (which often rears it's ugly head around 6 weeks) for moms who wear their babies. So it can be win-win :)

My son was kind of like this but only for naps and sleeping at night. He had to touch me. Try napping with her during the day. Take her into your bed, lay her down on the mattress, but let her legs rest on yours and let her be close to you, touching you. You have to remember she has heard your heart beat and felt you with her always for the past 9 mons. Your like a security blanket in this new strange place. Get her use to laying on your bed next to you. Then you can slowly move in other things. Also try introducing a "lovely". A blanket or a stuffed animal that she can use as a security blanket. This can help her to learn how to sooth herself.

Dear D.
have you tried swaddling her? Apparently it makes them feel close like they are being held and it can be comfprting to them. I have an almost 5 month old daughter and I did it with her and most of the time it worked. if not, lay her down next to you in a bed or couch for a nap and then get up when she's asleep. I used to put my daughter to sleep on her side with a pillow behind her so she constantly felt something behind her and nightime was always fine. good luck. S.

D., I too had this problem for a while, and at times STILL have it... My baby girl is almost 4 months old and there are plenty of times when she just WON'T go down, she sleep on me perfectly fine, but when i put her down, within minutes she was a wake again. One of the things that has helped occationaly is a cradle swing...Instead of it sitting up so that she crunched over when she falls asleep it lays back, not unlike a carseat. It rocks side to side or back and forth(the side to side works best with my daughter Brianna) I usually put her in it when she's either fallen asleep on me or at times in the vibrating bouncy chair. The rocking motion simulates a rocking chair and the craddle effect, being sort of cozy, as well as a passifier seems to do the trick..though not all the time. At 6 weeks Brianna still preffered to sleep on me... though part of that was reflux, and sleeping upright on my chest helped with that, eventually we got a pillow for her crib that resembled a bobby pillow but had a removable wedge so that she could sleep in a comfortable reclinig position on her back, this is when the tables changes.. she DID start to sleep on her own a little more. Think about what actaully wakes her up when you put her down, does she seem to spit up and then swollow then get aggitated? or seem to just swollow alot when there is no real spit up? if so then she may have acid reflux. If Not it's possible that she just enjoys and is comforted by the sound of your heartbeat, and your smell. try finding a crib attachment that makes the sound of a heartbeat and turning it on before you put her down, also, though some mothers don't use them, pacifiers help soothe a baby to sleep as well. In terms of general being held, I think some babies just NEED the closeness of their caregiver, Brianna was like that when i fianlly brought her home from the hospital (she was a month early and they had to keep her in the NICU for a few days) She may eventually out grow the need, Brianna certainly has to a point. hopefully some of this advice has helped.
-N.

Do you have a swaddle blanket, It may help.