Horrible Living Situation

I am also 24 and expecting our first baby in May, I don't know how much you like kids/youth but my husband and i do foster care for a great company and the kids are in school all day and i'll have time with my baby and it brings in extra income that is not taxable. i don't suggest this route unless you have a like or care for youth. We get to choose the ages and what kind of situation they are from. This might be an option you might want to consider. Check into it, you can always back out if it doesn't work for you but there are kids out there that get sent to foster homes that get abused (physically and sexually) and if you are someone who has a child chances are you aren't one of those types and could provide a roof over their heads and love and clothes and they will help you with finances to get into a place of your own while you decide if being a stay at home mom is for you.

I ahve never had to live with anyone, but I have had to go to work and pay the daycare at the same time, after my first paycheck, when I got $34 to my self after daycare and taxes and factoring gas in..I quit and decided to start my own daycare. I live in California right now but I am moving up to Las Vegas. I dont know how the childcare license works there, but it was super easy here. My husband works, so I deidnt need much money, so I called around asking how much people charged and charged about $20 less. So i killed two birds with one stone, I got to stay home with my kids and make money. I know that you live with your mom, but maybe getting your own place will be the best thing and you can consider my idea.
Good Luck

have you looked into getting your own home
i am a loan consultant maybe it would be more do able than you think what about working from home
when my daughter was little i had someone come in every day to watch her it cost 100.00 a week.
send me an e-mail maybe i can help right now i have to leave for a meeting

K.

I honestly believe you are doing more harm then good to you, and your family. While I can totally understand wanting to be home with the baby, you need to think of the mental strain it is putting on you and possibly your marriage not to mention that the baby is good at being in tune with emotions. We lived with my husbands uncle for a while and we were so different that I would only say hello, and it there was any messages for him. When I would see him drive up, I would start to clean up mine and my son's stuff and go into my bedrooms where I would stay for a few hours until he went to bed which was around 8pm. So my advice, bite the bullet and go find at least a parttime job and a place of your own.. your mental health, sanity, and marriage will thank you.

I agree with Kimberly. You should get your own place.

you could do both,move out and stay home,perhaps try to work from home, day care cost are awful, and they are the reason I decided to work from home. But no matter what you do I agree you should move out, it's not healthy to live that way, and your son will eventually pick up on your feelings too.

H.

http://wisemommy.fourpointmoms.com

I was in the same situation. I was living with my father and my evil step-mother. My father was o.k. before he met her. He had a slight lung condition, but as soon as he got with her he started going to the hospital all the time and taking abunch of medications that he didn't need. He became very ill was coughing all the time and having seizures. I argued with him every day over this, but everytime she came home from work I would hear her telling him that I didn't know anything, that I wasn't a doctor and that he needed those pills. He then got a lung transplant and died a few months after that. But enough about me. I know it's hard to go back to work right away. My kids are 3 and 1 and now that my Dad's dead we have to move out. We just found an apartment and it's going to be hard. I think if you can put up with him for another 6 mos. and then move out when your daughter's 1yr. that would be cool, but if things are really really bad move out now because it's not worth it. If you can try to find a job that works around your husband's schedule so you don't have to pay for day care. Welfare pays for daycare as well. When I move out of my house I would love to watch people's kids for a little extra money as well.

hey my name is mrs garcia and look hunny i've been there and done that i lived with my motherinlaw and my own mother for the first 3 years of my marriage and believe me it's not fun and i understand totally what your going through you know me and my husband found jobs that work around each others hours so when he comes home i go to work and so on its hard when you only get to give each other a kiss goodbye but it does save you money on having to pay for daycare. i never had to leave my 3 kids at a daycare so it;s something you'all can talk about ttyl mrs garcia

Hi H.,

You need to work from home! You can move out of your parents house and you won't need daycare! It's great! I'm a stay home mom and I work from home to help cover the bills. Send me your number or call me and I'll fill you in on what I do. ###-###-####

I'm a stay at home mom also, and I am sorry for your situation. I work ten hours a week over a few nights (and sell on ebay) while my husband has our baby. We have made great sacrifices! We own a condo, not a house, we only have one car payment, we have basic tv, we have basic phone...etc. BUT to me, it's worth it! If it's worth it to you- you will find a way to make it work. However, I don't think you should stay in that enviroment because your baby will pick up on that atmosphere! Best of luck...keep us updated!

HI H.! Sorry to hear about your bad situation. I agree with the other gals on here, you should sit down with your husband and make a budget... determine how much each month (or paycheck) you can put aside to save in order to get your own place. Also, have you checked into private daycares? My husband and I started having a fit when we had to conceed to putting our daughter into daycare... we could not believe the price... over $500 per month for PART TIME in a center!! Finally, I checked into a couple of the "private, in-home" daycares. They are MUCH cheaper, more personal, and I feel a better environment because they are smaller. My daughter still gets the interaction she needs with other children, but is not overwhelmed by a lot of kids (there are only 5 other kids in the daycare). We pay max about $250 a month for our daycare bill. Much cheaper, as I said.

Good luck!!!

Hi H.! I definitely agree that you need to move out. You should not have that kind of stress. My husband works full-time and I work part-time and go to school. We rarely see eachother, however; that is the sacrifice we have chosen to make to avoid daycare. There are part-time jobs out there that will work around your availability. Starbucks is one such company and you get tips there as well. My best friend does the same thing and works part-time in a bakery in a grocery store. There are options out there and you don't have to worry about daycare. The best part about this is that my husband has bonded like I never would have imagined with my daughter beacause he has her by himself for half of the day. It has made a wonderful father out of him! Good Luck!

You sound like me 1.5 years ago. I moved in with my daughter while pregnant to my mom's house because the father is basically a dead beet and I needed to change my life. well being in my thrid trimester I had to stay home till the baby was here and 2 months old. this was for about 4 months. I hate my stepdad becuase he basically took my mother's attention alot whan I was in the begining of my teen years. I've avoided him at all costs for 10 years. well when I moved in he wanted my daughter to call him grandpa I did'nt like that mush since he is not related to me. but I let it slide. My step dad stays home wile my mom works. they are both handycapped. he has 2 artificial legs from the knees down and my mom has knee problems as well that makes it hard for her to move around. well In my eyes he treats her like dirt. he yells at her they fight often. (he also has a memory and brain problem as a result of one of his amputaions) I've noticed that he takes alot of his anger from what has happend to him out on my mom who is the sweetest lady in the world. well I've kinda putt myself in his shoes to realize the reasons for what he does. it did'nt work much but now we don't argue much. he loves my kids and they love him. he watches them ocasionaly for about an hour for me so I can work and since i've moved out we get along much better. I still hate him and whenever we are i the same room my mood changes but my point to you is your not alone. But if staying at home is a problem, try getting a part time job at a day care center. that way child care is free and you get paid. not much but it's something. If you need someone to vent with my ears are open. LOL Smile it's worth it, afterall you get to see you baby all day.

my suggestion would be to make a budget and decide how much you can pay in rent on your husband salary and then move out I am a stay at home mom we have a 2 bedroom 1 bath apt. no cable but you don't really miss it after awhile of course you can get all the news online decide what is important to you to have ie cable internet landline price it figure everything in guess that you will have to pay 100 for electric (for a small apt.) find out basic utilitys (apt. supply you with garbage and water) budget your food that will go up as your baby gets older then if you still think that you need to work get work nights three times aweek only when your husband is not working you need to get out because this is only they begining because when the little one gets bigger they will really start telling whaat to do and critiqueing you all the time you need privacy to become a new family.

Well, I am a mother of 6. My oldest is 19 and married; not a great situation there. I don't want to be callous at all, but my opinion is that you need to live your own life and you need to live in your own place.

Your mother and your father in law have the right to be who they are in their own home. You also have the right to whatever you want to do with your life in your own home as well.

It is a very difficult decision to have a child in the first place. Was this planned? I am always telling my daughter that she needs to plan things out better, especially bringing a child into the world. She lives in a very small one bedroom apartment and that is just not a good place for a baby to have to be brought up into.

I had to work with a couple of my children and yes...it breaks our hearts to have to leave them. I am now a stay at home Mom and I do daycare. That might be an option for you. But, I do think you need a place of your own and hopefully you won't have to work either.

Good Luck to you!!! Honestly, it is very hard! Have a Merry Christmas!