How Did Your Fussy/colicky Baby Turn Out?

My son was an extremely fussy baby and cried non-stop for the first 18 months of his life. He had reflux. It was horrible!!! Now....he is extremely intelligent but he is into everything!!! He also throws tantrums constantly. He is 3 years old and he is driving us nuts!! The total opposite of his sister. She was a good baby and she has always been a good girl (12). I'm really starting to believe that all the crying he did as an infant was partly to blame on his personality. He has a horrible temper. I don't have any advice. Hopefully, they grow out of this. :)

Good luck!

Hi Nancy, Actually my son is now 14 and honestly once he got out of the coliky (sp) faze he was a dream and has been that way since. I have not had any problems with him. Of cousrse I didn't think the fussy stage would ever end, but by the time he was about 8 months old he was a very happy baby. Good luck.

Oh gosh mine were the same, colic,gassy. Still at schoolage very sassy. : ( I am at my wits end. I am so sorry I can't help you, I need help. I can't wait to read the responses.

Hi Nancy,

My daughter as an infant was 'fussy'. Part of it was a non-tolerance to foods I was eating (I nursed) and part of it was she just needed a lot of interaction. She did NOT want to just lay around and stare at the ceiling. If she was awake then she wanted interaction. Ok. No problem. I will say, she was also not a good sleeper. Sleep is for the WEAK! ;-) (I'm also not a CIO mom for babies under a year old)

Now, she is 20 months old. Yes, she is a handful...but I wouldn't want it any other way. She is so very curious about her world. She loves to learn, loves to explore, loves to do new things. We encourage this. We encourage her thirst for knowledge. At 20 months she can recognize now upwards of 6 letters, can put on her socks, shoes, pants, and coat and we are currently in the process of potty training. I know that sounds like a lot... and some will most likely criticize and say she's too young for this stuff, but it is really directed by her. She is very independent. VERY independent.

I have found the times when I feel my daughter is being really fussy, are the times I'm not really paying attention to her. I'm too involved in something else and she is just saying 'HEY... I need you!' I've had to rethink my focus as a parent...what are my priorities.

No, I don't give her everything she demands. We do things to teach her patience, sharing, etc.... But I remember that sometimes, my computer time or newspaper reading time will just have to wait. I can't expect her to understand like an adult...I have to teach her as she is learning.

I also offer her lots of opportunities to run and get out her energy! That is important for us. I just remember to try and be consistent. She knows there are things she can not do... if she does them, there are consequences. (we use time outs and they work very well for us) Consistency is key.

Instead of looking at her as a high energy challenge... I look at her as the God-given gift she is and embrace her thirst for life and knowledge.

My son cried nonstop til he was one, and he didn't have acid reflux or anything like that. He just was never comfortable.. he hated new people, new situations, cried at loud parties or noises, hated being held (even by mommy) and being restrained in infant holders. I never went anywhere because he was a nightmare.

But that all changed when he turned one.. actually when he started to walk at 10 1/2 months. I think he felt so restricted before and now he could just do what he wanted to do, get where he wanted to go, be on his own! I think this means he will be independent, but not necessarily hard to handle. He has a sweet temperament now (at 18 months) and is the exact opposite of how he was before. He loves to cuddle and never cries. He is very adventurous and used to others. But at the same time, I can just roll him around in his stroller and he is just chill. And trust me, I really didn't do anything different. Except to parent him along the way- no hitting etc.

I think a lot of babies are hard to deal with until they are one and people just don't talk about it? Also, I would advise against *assuming* that a difficult baby makes a difficult child. Thinking that way will probably pave the way for exactly what you expect to happen to happen. Only you as mom (and dad) can grow your child up with manners and boundaries... as they get older, parenting is really what matters in how your child turns out, not what they were like as a baby. Stay positive and have hope!

Hi Nancy,

My second daughter had colic, and it was very bad, lasting over 5 months. She was a bouncy happy girl until the colic came on in the early evening. As soon as she grew out of the colic, she was back to her sweet self. She's 9 now and is energetic, but well-behaved and good-natured. No signs of any of her former trouble! Whew!

I think "fussy" may be something different than colic. I could be wrong, but some babies just seem to be harder to please than others. My firstborn loved to be held all the time. My second would fuss if I held her too long and wouldn't be happy until I put her in a bouncy seat. Some like a lot of stimulation, and some like less.
I found too that if I was "fussing" about something, the babies would pick up on my mood and would be fussy too!
Just keep trying different methods until you find the ones that calm them down.

I would also recommend a great book on nurturing boys. It's called "Wild Things"....the authors fail me at the moment, but if you're interested, I can certainly find out for you.

Congratulations on your newborn!

J.

My brother had 2 colicky babies. They are very different kids, one is a handful and one never was. My second was not colicky and she is such a huge handful.

She could be having some allergies and/or gerd(acid reflux). My friends baby had all sorts of reactions to what mom ate (breastfeeding), and gerd. They bought a special bed for her to sleep in, and my friend went on a special diet and it was a night and day turn around. The bed was expensive but you can buy them used. It was called an Amby Baby Motion Bed. They sold it to another friend and that person had equally satisfying results. Good luck! Don't forget to ask for help for a night so that you can sleep.

My daughter was gassy and a screamer. She would have what my husband and I referred to as a "screaming fit" at least once per day for the first 8-12 weeks. I'm not kidding - we'd have friends who were shocked at how loud this tiny baby could scream. And then she turned a corner and is now a great 2 1/2 year old. Of course, she has her moments (what 2 year old doesn't?) but she's usually VERY well behaved. We found that the screaming was a combination of the gas as well as the fact that she was just a child who required more sleep than the average. Her sleeping is now pretty much right at average but she seemed to want to sleep SO much when she was an infant and we just weren't meeting her needs (honestly, many times, she'd only stay up for an hour or two).

One of my 4 was like what you descibed. She became a doctor when she had 5 kids. She is quite amazing but never does things the easy way! She has a wonderful heart and works very hard, but she was, as you said, always a handful!

For me, the fussiness and colic turned into teething, which I think by far is worse!

However, I will say that quiet time and baths are still the best medicine for our house.

It'll be all right. My first would not be put down--he insisted on being carried ALL the time. He would not accept a stroller or anything except his Mama. A sling first, and then a backpack once he was big enough, even after he was walking. By about 3, he was willing to do other things, but he was still a Mama's baby, yet very sociable to talk with other people, as long as Mama was right there with him. He learns fast and well, and is a natural leader, but he still requires a lot of attention, or he starts doing things that he knows are not pleasing, just to make sure he gets the attention he seems to need. If I focus a lot on him, he seems to do really well, if I don't, he does a lot of garbage. He is 9.5 now. He has a lot of potential. He is certainly a bit of a handful! But, I am expecting great things from him...

Good luck!

very, very strange. i wonder if there is a corellation? my 13 yr old was very collicky and he has ADHD! HUGE handful! good luck!

My extremely colicky son who had to be carried and bounced for hours every night for months is now a wonderful, respectful teen! He was a horrible baby but once he grew out of that he has been an amazing kid! Even as a toddler he was great. Now my dd who was an amazing baby(slept 8 hours a night at 2 days old!) has been testing my patience since she could talk! Lol.

My daughter was very colicky. She would cry for 13 hours a day for about 5 weeks. It was horrible. Now at 15 months she is the most passive, easy going baby you could meet. She has times when she is clingy but doesn't every kid? I know time will tell but so far I think she is showing no after effects.

My first was very fussy. We survived his early years and had our second 2 1/2 years later. I remember when we brought her home and the screaming started again praying, "Oh, God, what did I do to deserve this twice!?" We also managed to survive that. My children are now 3 and 5 1/2. They're both very intelligent and energetic, which I think goes along with their personalities as babies as well.

I found Dr. Sears' book "Parenting the fussy baby and high needs child" to be very helpful the first time around. He has a dozen or more kids of his own and talks about how they turned out when they grew up compared to how they were as babies. Like any parenting book, you'd probably find things you agree with and don't. I found it validating that I wasn't a bad parent because my baby asked for more attention than some others did.

We've got #3 on the way in a couple weeks and I'm still holding out hope this will be my "easy" baby :)

Hang in there!

Nancy,

Is your baby colic or fussy. I currently have a 6 year old who was colic for about 6 solid months and they were th worst times of my life. However, our very good friends just recently had a baby and she was colic and they found something called Hyland Colic Tablets and they told us that with in hour, she was better and has never been fussy since. I have full intentions of using with my new baby if needed. Here is the website for them but you can find them at stores too: www.hylands.com/products/colic.php

About how they are when they get bigger...still a handful, no doubt. He is very needy, but that could also be our fault too since he's been the only child for so long and was spoiled :)

Hi Nancy,

I understand where you are coming from, but I haven't had that same expreance. My oldest was a fussy baby because she was sick, but was a wonderful todler and a great kid at that age of 9. My next was a wonderful baby and is almost 5 and is a handful now. Next I had twins and one of them had colic, but the other didn't, and the one that didn't is the handful and always into everything and is always picking on everyone else, while the one that had colic is more of a drama queen, and shy. My 5th was a good baby and a pretty good todler, although she's only 18 months. So I think it just depends on the kid, also I also hear that 2nd kids are always better then firsts because they are always use to not having all the attention as the older one always had it since there was only one. Good luck, but I wouldn't put to much thought into it:)

When my daughter was really fussy and "colicky" she had GERD, or baby acid reflux. I took her to the doctor and they diagnosed her for this because she had several symptoms including pulling away from the bottle, arching her back, hiccupping and coughing, crying while sleeping, makeing noises when laid flat, etc. Once they put her on medication to assist with these problems, she wasn't fussy anymore.

Maybe you should check to make sure the baby doesn't have soemthing else going on that is making him worse than the first. The thing that really sticks out in my mind about my daughter is that you just could not put her down flat. If you did, she cried and cried.
Good Luck!!
BTW- now she is really the happiest baby ever!

Nancy,

I have 5 children, and son #2 was colicky. It seemed like he cried for the entire first year and there never seemed to be a particular reason for it. It seemed like we tried every comfort measure to make him feel better and really only had limited success with it.

Once he started to walk and became more mobile he got much better, although he was my "busy" boy. It seemed like he was into everything (endlessly curious) and had a fear of nothing!

He is 11 years old now and has a personality that can be difficult to get along with. He tends to let people know when hes not happy with something in no uncertain terms. However on the positve side he is the type of person with whom you always know where you stand. He can be stubborn but is reasonable and likes to negotiate for priviledges and opportunities, not just with the family but at school and out in the world as well.

He is a blessing to us and I wouldn't trade him for anything, even though though those first few years were a little rough, they will go by fast and before you know it he will be almost grown up!

Something else to think about is just because hes fussy doesn't mean he will be difficult later on, if his fussiness is due to a physical cause he may turn out to be a very mellow guy!

Hi Nancy,
According to my mother, I was a very colicky as an infant, but was a pretty well behaved toddler. My brother on the other hand, was a perfect infant and a total handful as a toddler. My three kids were all non-fussy babies and my girls were great toddlers, but my boy is definitely a handful. Some days I can't even go to the bathroom because I never know what trouble he'll be in when I come out!

It's so hard to predict how a child will turn out. Good Luck!

my firstborn (daughter) was an extremely difficult baby. She cried ALOT... she had reflux so she was on zantac for reflux. she was up 1/2 the night and cried every evening. She is now 3 and still difficult. High maintenance.. emotional.....generally well behaved.. but she can still cry for extended periods over just about anything.

my second child (boy) was a wonderfull happy mellow baby. I watch videos of him as a tiny baby laying on a blanket looking around... just content. he actually had more severe reflux but he was a "happy spitter" we tried zantac he still puked just as much. He is now almost 2 and still a happy guy... he is 2 so we have temper issues and cooperation issues.. but his basic personality is happy.

I think babies come as they are difficult baby is difficult toddler difficult adult..

Ha, I'm cracking up over your post:) My daughter was a fussy baby and I was never convinced that it was colic, she just always seemed to want to be doing more that her skill level at the time allowed. She wanted to be carried around always moving, until she herself was mobile. Anyway, long story short she is 14 months now and yes, she is a handful. Busy, busy, busy, not to mention sassy and stubborn. We refer to her as high maintenance! I wouldn't have it any other way though...I don't think she'll ever be the wallflowed that lets other kids push her around, that is for sure.