How Do I Know When My Baby Is Done Breastfeeding?

Updated on October 21, 2010
A.C. asks from Atlanta, GA
12 answers

I have a 3-week-old baby that I am exclusively breastfeeding (something I didn't do with her older brother). My problem is that I cannot tell when she is done eating. Even if I don't hear any swallows, she often seems to want more food after I remove her from the breast (which I usually do after about 45 minutes) and panics and gets angry when I remove her, then eats greedily when I put her back. My breastfeeding friends all suggested that I wait until she detaches herself from the nipple, BUT SHE DOESN'T. She is very much a sucker, and has actually never detached herself in all 3 weeks of life. Last night, I decided to let her suck as long as she wanted to to make sure she got enough, and she was still actively sucking TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER. I have no idea at what point she stopped eating and was just pacifying. Needless to say, my nipples are killing me and I'm completely exhausted this morning. Her latch is fine (I had it checked) and she is gaining weight, and during the day, she often seems to stop actively sucking when she is done (although she doesn't detach), but not at night. We did just introduce a paci on the recommendation of our pediatrician because she wants to suck constantly, but I don't want to use it when I suspect she might want to eat - that isn't its purpose. Any advice?

I wanted to clarify my pediatrician comment. My pediatrician is actually a LLL leader and is trained in breastfeeding techniques, etc. I know this is not the norm for pediatricians, and I'm very lucky (although I have some objections to LLL from my experiences with them with my son). She wanted me to wait longer to introduce the paci (as we did with my son), but we decided that the constant demand of my daughter's sucking was adversely affecting my chances of continuing to breastfeed (I suffered from PPD with my son and found breastfeeding him extremely stressful, for a number of reasons - I eventually gave it up - something we want to avoid this time around). Therefore, instead of recommendation, I guess I should say we introduced a paci with her grudging acceptance.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

babies like to suck it is very soothing for them. If she is latching on well and breastfeeding is also going well you could try removing her and giving her a pacifier so she can happily continue sucking because right now it seems like she is using you as a human pacifier.

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K.C.

answers from Barnstable on

I would recommend something like Earth Mama Angel Baby Nipple Butter to sooth your nipples. As a 3 week old, they ARE nursing most of the time. And because their little tummy is only the size of a ping-pong ball, they eat small amounts frequently. My guess it that she is nursing well for 15 minutes then getting drunk and nodding off, but she is sucking in her sleep (a weak, kind of chattery feeling on your breast). When they get like this, the nipple tends to slip out of their mouth slightly and when they start to suck again, they latch to shallow and can hurt you after a while.

You SHOULD wait till she "falls off drunk." Some babies though, do fall asleep on the boob and don't "keel over drunk" and release it. My son never did. I found that if I waited until he fell asleep after 20 to 30 minutes of nursing, then counted till 50, I could stick my finger on my breast, push down enough to flip my nipple out of his mouth and he remained dead to the world. Sometimes I could put him down, other times no.

I ended up nursing him to sleep on our bed, doing the nipple flip technique and "slithering" away once he was asleep :) Best trick ever!

You are doing great, just see if you can flip out your nipple (so your body doesn't move away from her and wake her). Then sit or rock her for a few minutes more and then you may be able to put her down in a deep sleep. Remember to wait a minute or 2 after she has gone to the weak, drunken sucking before you try to flip out the nipple. If you do it too soon and she isn't in a deep enough sleep, she will stir and start to nurse again.

Sounds like a normal, happy, boob-obsessed baby and a great nursing mom!

:) Peace

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T.T.

answers from Chicago on

she is still learning and still trying to get your supply where it needs to be REMEMBER the first 6 weeks can be difficult but after taht it will be so much easier!!! Id let her nurse as often as she wants right now and youll see things will be SO MUCH better in a few weeks! please try to find a support group near you! LLL.org

o and no pacifier yet! the pediatrician believe it or not has had little to NO training in breastfeeding so that is why its imperative you find a great support group! good luck!!!

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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

I'd get a sling and just wear her around so she can nurse as much as she wants. She'll grow out of it. Some babies just take longer to eat and want to suckle for comfort.
I this it's awesome that your pedi is a LLL leader! I think all pedi's should be required to have lactation training, sadly they get none in school and have to seek out the information themselves. So cool!

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J.K.

answers from Cleveland on

I agree with Rosie D's reply, she describes it perfectly. You can also sort of hear a slurping sound sometimes when they are actually drawing milk in. I'm now nursing for the 4th time (he's 6wks) and unless he falls asleep he'd keep on using me as a paci forever too, as would my 3 other kids too, so I know how you feel! :)
And I do know that it's not recommended to use a paci, but all I can say is that in my personal experience, with my strong suckers, we have used a paci from birth, and have (fortunately I guess) never ever had any problems with latching, nipple confusion, etc. And I thought my lactation consultant said wait until the baby was 3 wks, which yours is anyway, so my guess is it won't cause a real problem right now. If it keeps you breastfeeding, then bring on the binkies!!! :)
Congrats!!

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R.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

Notice how she sucks at the beginning of a feeding? Strong jaw movements, that are slow as if she's drawing in milk. Then after a while, when she is pacifying, they become very short, quck, rhythmic sucks. You don't have to keep her on while she is pacifying. That is when the pacifier will come in handy. Usually if you give a pacifier to a hungry baby, once they realize no milk is coming out, they won't be happy with it.
Good luck to you! Congrats on the new baby girl and making the decision to breastfeed. And remember by doing what is best for yourself, you are also doing good for your child since if mommy's stressed, your baby will feel it too.
R.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

At that age about 20 minutes per side is good. What she is doing now is trying to increase your milk supply for the next growth spurt. My daughter nursed quite a bit and when I stopped her she would have a fit. A couple of times I let her nurse all she wanted and she threw it up. We cleaned her up, the carpet up, and me and she would nurse again. This went on for about two weeks and then it stopped and she was six weeks old.

I feel your pain but it will get better. Oh my daughter did not like or ever take a paci. She became a thumbsucker for a few years and drug around a blanket so I had my own version of the Peanut characters in my house.

You will survive. Get some thick lanolin and put on your nipple area and leave it on even when nursing. Your nipples will become soft and smooth from use.

The other S.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

I had a baby like that too. Very orally fixated!! One thing to do is to try to develop a routine, so you know if she is really hungry or not. Wake/feed, play, sleep. There are some that say 3 weeks is too early, but it really isn't. Teaching her to play after eating will help her stay awake during feeding, and that is really the key, to keep her awake. Whenever she seems to slow down, wake her up again. If you unlatch her, put your pinky or forefinger (nail side against the tongue) into her mouth. This is actually better than a paci, as she can take more in, similar to your nipple.

If she isn't hungry, she can be pacified with this and let your boobs rest. Then, let them get some air and some nice soothing nipple cream (Motherlove, or Earth Mama Angel Baby), will help. If she can be entertained and remain awake, for even 30 minutes, great, then put her down for a nap. When she is tired, she will most likely start rooting and show signs of what looks like hunger, but also signals tired. When she wakes up, she should be ready for more milk, and your boobs should have gotten a break.

During growth spurts, she may be hungry more often, but you still shouldn't have to feed for more than 30 minutes at a time. Also, as they get older, they get more efficient, and don't eat as long.

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S.M.

answers from Columbus on

My son was the same way, he would want to nurse for HOURS. Even when he didn't fall asleep while eating, he would still throw a fit when I pulled him off. I could not have survived without a pacifier for him.

Even though it's still early, you don't want to get in a habit of putting her to bed already fast asleep, or you're always going to be nursing her to sleep and she won't be able to sooth herself when she's bigger. That's what I did with my son and he didn't sleep through the night until he was a year old!

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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

I can only tell you what worked for me, you seem to be where I was. When my DD was breastfeeding she was a sucker, she would eat then slow and from what I could tell, she was asleep. So I started a bit of a routine with her, I would give her 30mins(she'd be asleep by then anyway) on one breast, then change her(waking her up) and put her on the other breast for another 30mins until she was asleep again then move her to bed. When she was older, about a month or two I started to give her a paci because the moment I removed her she would wake and pitch a fit.

I saw one mom suggested your DD might be getting ready to grow, just increase the time you let her nurse. Mostly just watch your DD, when she startes slowing down and not swallowing it might be time to switch breasts ( or stop, up to you).

Good luck, I hope this helps.

1 mom found this helpful
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B.

answers from Augusta on

Take your nipple out of her mouth when she falls asleep.

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

My DD was like this! Would suck for hours and wouldn't you know it-- she is the one that sucks her thumb at 3....My nipples were SO SORE and BLEEDING! Pediatrician told me to switch her side to side more often, change positions, etc. to get her to eat actively and also do not do more than 20 minutes per side and feed no more often than every 2-3 hours. I wanted to feed my baby but did not want to be a human pacifier :) GOOD LUCK!

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