How Much Help Will I Need After My C Section, and Where Do I Find It?

Why not just bring in a baby sitter when you need them. Like when you need to go to the store. Perhaps find a cleaning company to come in for a while.

It isn't like you are going to be down forever, just longer than most.

It would drive me nuts having people around the house all the time.

I'll be having my 4th c-section in a few months, and I also have a 2 year old. I've been teaching my 2 year old to do many things for himself. He climbs into his carseat (I see if he can do it before I count to 10, or before I sing the ABC song) and he loves it. He "races" me up the stairs (I don't try to go quickly, but I just use an excited and hurried voice to help encourage him to go quickly).

Everyone heals differently from a c-section. I bounce back very quickly, and am back at about half-capacity within a few days.

See if your mom can help you do set up your home to be as efficient as possible. Try to make camp on one floor of your home for the majority of the day. Put something next to your older son's bed so he can climb in himself. If you have a bassinet or a swing, keep it set up in the main room where you spend most of your time. Bring all your diaper supplies, extra clothes, wash cloths, clothes for your other child, and yourself to the main level of your home.

Have your mom help you carry laundry up/down the stairs. See if she can help you prepare some meals in advance to help get you through your husband's trip.

I LOVE Nervy Girl's suggestion to get a postpartum doula. They can help you establish a routine, and to care for both of the kids.

You won't need round the clock help, so your established babysitters could probably just come a few hours a day, or every other day, to help you do some of the chores and cooking, play with the older kid, etc. Maybe someone could come at bedtime to help bathe/bed your older kid, read, etc.

You might be surprised how much you will be able to do by next week. I had my 2nd c section on a thurs, was discharged sat morning, would have been Friday but the peds didn't discharge babies for 72hrs. And by Monday I was up and down 3 flights of stairs walking my son to his bus stop. My husband went back to work that tues. I found that moving helped a lot.

Could you contact a post-partum doula and explain your situation... that you need some help for a few days? She might be able to help, to refer you to a doula who is available or offer some other options. Or cobble together shifts for your known sitters to fill?

Is there are MOPS group or a church group close to you? I would think if you reached out, there would be some grandmother figure that would want to help because she has the time. If they do not have a person able to help they might have local resources (baby sitting service) or something.

My friends who had a c-section could not walk up stairs, so slept on the couch downstairs. (i do think there were a few stair to get to her front door, so she must have walk a few times). I think this went on for 3 weeks. She also had help.

I think you need help and if you can afford it, just do it.

Yikes. You're in a hospital and your husband is leaving the country in a week? Have you considered "Lotsa Helping Hands"? It's a free newsletter and task list where you can set up a schedule for what you need, and anyone in your various social circles can sign up to help. Do you have a church, MOPS group, Newcomers Club, library moms circle, family, anything? You figure out what you need (based on the suggestions you will get here and with help from any friends who've been through it), then get one or two friends to be the coordinators. They list the tasks and the dates needed, and people sign up for a time that's convenient for them. You can look at the schedule any time and see what's promised. We've put a cooler in the driveway or on the porch for meal deliveries but you could put it on the landing of the 2nd floor to keep you off the steps.

I've used it for meals when someone was sick or getting chemo, and it's been used after babies and deaths. You might include meals 3 times a week, trips to the park for the toddler 4 times a week, grocery shopping once a week, laundry 3 times a week, caring for the baby so you can nap, coming along for the well-baby visits to entertain and put the toddler in the car seat, anything. It takes away the problem of you being the one who schedules things when people say "Let me know if I can help" and then wondering what will work for them.

You DO know what to ask for - just think about what you did for the 3 days before you went to the hospital! You shopped, played with your child, did laundry and folded it/put it away, cooked and did dishes, cleaned, etc. That's what you need help with.

You can also call any home health agency. There are plenty that do not have medical staff (therapists, nurses, etc.) but do have "companions" who will do meal prep, shopping, light housecleaning, laundry and so on. They often care for the elderly or those with dementia but I'm quite sure they are adaptable. The one I used for my elderly mother had mostly trained CNAs who had some training, and many were going on to nursing school. They work any shift, and are insured and bonded.

You could also look into mother's helpers agencies and perhaps some nanny services - maybe someone is "between jobs" and would take a short term assignment.

Good luck!

Look into TaskRabbit.com to see if you can hire someone to help with specific jobs- going to the grocery store for you, driving your husband, etc. The TaskRabbit people are rated by prior "employers" and they bid on completing your job.

Remember that the first few days will be the worst and luckily you have both hubby and mom available. Have mom load your freezer with precooked meals and make a huge grocery trip so you have enough supplies while hubby is on his trip.

You will feel better day by day. Until then, avoid leaving the house unless you have to.

I wish I lived closer so I could help you. I had an emergency c section 4 weeks ago with my 3rd child and I have a 2 year old and 3 year old. You will definitely need help the first two weeks and should not be lifting your toddler at all. My discharge instructions were not to lift anything heavier than the baby for 4 weeks. By week 3, I was lifting my other kids occasionally, but I definitely couldn't have done that the first two weeks. My helpers mostly helped with my older kids and laundry. Incidentally, my doctor also did not want me using the stairs more than once a day or driving. I had help (family) for 3 weeks. I wish I could offer suggestions on where you could get help. Maybe ask the nurses at the hospital?

You will bounce back quicker than you think. I had 2 C sections with no help at all. My husband stayed home for a few days and that was it. He never got up with any of the babies through the night. Within 3 days I had a huge family dinner, prepared it all myself, cleaned my entire house etc.. to get ready to show off the new baby! It really isn't as hard as everyone says it is, at least that is my opinion. And not to mention I had gained 70 lbs during my pregnancy, so I was HUGE. But all went fine !!

After my c-section I had a friend stay with me for two weeks. Mainly, she did the driving, lifting, and dog-wrangling! I actually felt pretty good after mine, other than just being tired. You should be feeling much better after a couple of weeks. For the first two weeks, I would try to get someone who can stay with you or at least be there for the portion of the day when your toddler is awake. After the two weeks, I would definitely plan on having someone in for a few hours a day to give you a break until 6-8 weeks post surgery.

Accept help from friends and relatives- if someone asks what they can do for you, tell them! Even if it is just taking your toddler to the park for an hour while you and the newborn catch a nap.

Oh, and my best post-c-section tip- hold a pillow against your abdomen when you get up. Makes all the difference in the world!!

Just a word of caution - I thought I could do it all after a week and ended up flat on my back again because I irritated the site around my epidural. It was painful, scary and a good lesson in asking for help.

I think after a few days home with your Moms help you will be fine. Why do you feel you have to go out with toddler. Just stay home. Maybe hire a high school,kid to take him out in the afternoon. Your toddler does. OT need to be listen. He can climb on you. You'd be surprised what they are capable of.

while you are at the hospital, call in the social worker and ask for suggestions and recommendations. They usually have lots of resources in the community! They might be able to refer you to some type of service that you could call. Your husband can help you this week and you may feel better next week, but you may need extra help at times. Why can't your toddler son climb into his own car seat? Maybe Daddy could practice with him, then you could strap him in the car seat.

I would definitely have someone come help out, even if it's just to help you get places. After my C-section my dr would not allow me to drive for almost 6 weeks. He told me that even though you may feel better, you just had abdominal surgery so your reaction time is slower. So if you are the only one that drives in your house, it will be imperative to have help.

My husband had to go back to work the day after we got home from the hospital, fortunately my mom was able to come over while he was at work to help with the laundry and general care in the house since I was moving slower and not really doing stairs. I was grateful to have her there when out of no where I had severe pains in my abdomen a few days after we got home. She was able to drive me to the dr and my husband met us there. (It turned out to be nothing, but was still thankful she was there to help).

I would say anyone that you trust could be a candidate to call, even if it's a few friends and each can help for just a day or 2 at a time.

Congratulations on your little one and good luck!

I had a postpartum doula for my third. Some of the best money I ever spent--she came over about three times a week for the first two weeks, about 3 hours each time. She helped me with nursing (you wouldn't think I'd need it by the third, but I did). She tidied up, helped with laundry, held the baby while I ate and took a nap, and also gave my two year old plenty of attention and care. She's in NJ, not sure how far she'll travel, but you can check with her. If she won't travel to NY, maybe she can recommend a doula closer to you? Congrats and best of luck!
http://doulamatch.net/profile/247/elaine-petrowski

I never had a C section, but I had a surgery on my ankle when my daughter was 19 months old. My husband works a lot of hours, so I hired my cousins nanny for what I thought was a couple of weeks. She was horrible! I ended up cooking dinner for US (her as well) on the first night she cot here because she said she couldn't go anymore. I pulled the stool up to the kitchen counter and cooked while I sat in the stool.

After that, I met a wonderful lady here on MP and she came and did everything for me. She has since moved back to her home country, I would strongly suggest her.

Here in Vegas we have a nanny referral. You can get a nanny to come stay with you for any length of time. Here is a service I just googled in your town. http://www.sittercity.com/nanny/ny/new-rochelle.html I found some great nanny's when I used our local service.

Best wishes.