How to Fix My Toddlers Broken Heart

As a child that has suffered this myself from my own father, I am not sure what to tell you. I thought that even with my son in the picture, my father would like to see me more, talk to me more, etc.; but he never changed. I attempted to be in his life three times! Shame on me for the heartbreak for that. I did receive a call later to be informed my aunt (also my 'godmother', and I only expressed I was sorry to hear the news, but I would not partake in any of the events.)

You need to protect your daughter at this point. Tell him to either step up, be the father he is supposed to be or to leave it behind forever so she no longer suffers. As hard as all this is anyway!

Trust me: I tried at some many intervals and this man sounds just like my dad. It still hurts, but my step-dad was more of a father to me even after my mom and he split, too.

Also: document ALL of this for full-custody (the no calls, no shows). There is no point in him having custody if he has no time for such a precious angel.

It is totally his loss~ Just be there for your little girl. Give her as much love and assurance as you can. When she is older, give her the full story and let her decide if she wants to try like I did. Hopefully she will have better luck~ I wish my father well, but I will never call again on him to attempt to be back in his life as it was never meant to be.

I am so sorry.

When your daughter is not around, call and leave a message of how important he is to his little girl. How much she misses him and how she is always looking forward to hearing from him.

A daily phone call at about the same time of the day would be wonderful. If he can't call that day, he is more than welcome to leaving a message just for her. And ask him if she can occasionally leave messages on his voicemail for him.

Tell him that I, M., said that he would be very surprised to find how accomidating his boss would be if he just asked for a few minutes to call his 2-year-old!

Offer dinner once a week.

Offer lunch at his job (during the summer) with a picnic at a nearby park.

Assure him that it's about the kids and that all you're asking of him is a little investment of him time.

I will be praying like crazy that God touches his heart and compels him to be drawn to his little girl by her love.

I hate to say it but go to court and get it put in writing by a judge how much time he needs to be spending with her. If he can't abide by it then cut him out completely. She will eventually learn what daddy is all about and most likely not want to be around him. My ex tried to come every so often after our divorce but once he was forced to take the kids he found he didn't want to make that much of a commitment and he stopped coming around totally. I finally got full physicla and joint legal custody. He has to have my permission to see the kids now, I can refuse him, too, which I do. The emotional roller coaster will just get worse as she gets older. Better to deal with it now. Have you looked into a kids group to distract her a bit? Going to church regularly could also give her some adult male role models to look up to. My kids are blossoming and I don't have the discipline problems I had before from him underminding my every decision. I wish you the best. Keep strong, keep positive and remember to not put him down. She will figure out he's not good enough for her eventually.

Hi is this the 2 1/2 yr old, sad now you have to be the mom and dad, stay strong, even tho you hate him for hurting your daughter, she will always love him, incurage her to start a jernal, a letter or picture to her father, everyday she can write him, then when she see's him, give it to him, or she could mail it, if he does not respone, you send a letter from him to her, and tell him, but to her, he is everything. Try and keep it that way, by saying bad things about him to her, she is 50% him and someday may feel she's not a good person eather. Best of luck to you, I hope this will help, sas, sorry about spelling. B.

I am not in this situation. But hes just as much of a parent as you. It takes two to tango. Tell him he needs to not just give child support but also give time to. Give him an alternative like the other response said. I would also look into the courts too. I know friend of the court can order him not only to pay child support but to have different options of visitation. They will either have you guys switch every other week is his. He/She may have him do every other weekend and every holiday or something. I would check into it. He needs to be there for her. Plus have everyone even grandpas spend time with her and make sure she feels loved. Good luck!

E.

I am sorry to hear you are in the same spot I have been for a long time. There are periods where things go well and then periods where he doesn't show for a while. Tell him to call, hunny if he wanted to make the effort he would. Unfortunatly you can't just tell him he can't see her, with out a court order and good luck on that. The best thing to do is just tell her he is busy with work leave out a lot of other discussion and he will call when he can. Tell her you are sure that when he can he will come visit, and so on. DOn't bad mouth him, just let it go. I know it's hard to deal with and you hate to see them hurting, but do what you can, and just redirect her attentions. Eventually she will figure out what is going on and it won't be so bad. My father was the same way and by the time I was 12 I told my father where he could go and that I didn't need him. She is 2, let her pick up the phone, and pretend to talk to him, or if you really want to be nasty...call him and let her leave him the message. She will feel better and maybe he'll get the idea.

Good luck

Until this guy can take responsibility and be a consistent part of her life, he needs to be out of it. He doesn't deserve her or your time. Your daughter's little heart strings are too important and he is stomping on them! Take a stand and protect her.
You can't MAKE him care through the court system, you can only get financial assistance that way. Every visitation arrangement only works if he shows up regularly and takes proper care of her. Do you feel comfortable sending her off with him for a weekend or even a week based on his past behavior like one of the other moms suggested? Don't put her in his path of emotional destruction. All the best to you!

You can comfort her. You can report this to him in a factual way. She will figure it out as she gets older. It's very sad but this happens to many kids, and the missing parent is always a hero in their eyes when they're little. No way for you to change it unfortunately. Be honest with her but don't put him down. I know it's very hard on you as well as on her. Realize that anything you say to her will likely be told to him, so don't make a big deal out of it because it may make things worse. Get support from girlfriends and hang in there, E.!

Hi E.,
My daughter is a single mom with 2 children also. She told her ex (who did the same thing as yours) that she was not going to allow him to put her oldest daughter on an emotional roller coaster. She had a routine for him to follow and he couldn't follow it and he eventually stopped coming completely. Sad, but much easier on the kids. What we learned is that the more loving people they had in their lives helped to fill the void of no father. God has blessed them with so many wonderful people and they are blossoming wonderfully now!! My daughter is also going through training with a wonderful company to be able to work out of her home so she can be there for her kids all the time. If you have interest in learning about this training you can respond back to me. I pray for the best for you and your children.
C.