please help me?I have temp.custody of my one year old grandson,His father wants well has vistation for him.okay he was to get him two days a week for four hours well he didnt want that he wanted longer hours they said he had to take baby steps with him well that went over really well if you know what i mean!So cps is involved okay well guess what he now gets him one day for 8 hours,every saturday.from 11:00 until 7:00.Well he comes to get him sees him starts puckering up and crying,when they pull off you hear him crying after us we are the grandparents.He hasnt see his father since he was born.Him and my daughter didnt hit off so that was the end of it!!Well he has been ordered to pay child support well he didnt have a job!still doesnt and works here there for people to get by.He is ordered to pay 45 dollars a week,and isnt doing it!What happened to if you didnt pay you dont see the kids???me and father talk but he is a push over okay he wants to run the show! When he brings him home he is crying too i hate it for him i dread it every week.I cant stand it!!They told me it will get better!Well what about the baby its going to tramatize him!!They dont care i dont think!!What do i do??Please help me what am i to do??I cry every saturday until he comes back home to me..Thanks
toddlers have serious issues with separation anxiety. you need to get a lawyer and go to court to get SUPERVISED visitation by you. he doesnt know this man and hes being thrown in to his car every week and doesnt know whats going on. do some research and see if you can find a good family lawyer in your area im not sure where you are located but if you are in louisville i can recommend someone who i have used
I don't have much info for you, unfortunately, but is there any way that you can request a social worker/court appt. person be there when the father comes to get him? I know this all has to be so hard for you guys. I at least hope the father is happy to see him and tries to be comforting to his little guy when he is crying. I don't know how you do it, but I applaud you for being able to handle this situation. Good luck.
For starters you need to contact someone about his child support. In a lot of states if they don't pay they lose their drivers license. If he does, how can he come pick him up for visitation?
One yr olds are too young to leave their comfort zone. That said, the fact that he is crying when returning bothers me more. Call CPS, tell them your situation and that he is not paying, baby is crying. Ask if it can be supervised visits. Let him come to your home for 4 hrs, or take baby to CPS for 4 hrs, even better. They would observe his interaction. I am sure this guy never even held a baby. Is he clean when he returns? I hope your daughter now has BC, and you don't get any more surprises. Good luck.
I am sorry you are having to go through with this. Almost all courts make you follow through with visitation REGARDLESS of paying child support. I have 3 sons and have been through this. That is the FIRST thing they told us when we took a divorce class before the divorce( reqd when I lived in TX). They told us we CANT withhold visitation PERIOD.
I have been there and it hurts ......Unless the father is a known abuser, alchoholic or drug user, there is not much use in going to court. If the above statements are true, then you might have a chance to deny the father visitation but you would need to go to court and have it court ordered.....
If you have any other questions you can email me personally.
You need to encourage, not discourage, the visitation with the dad. The baby will pick up on your anxiety. Quit being an overprotective grandparent and be happy when dad comew to pick up. Sorry, but I've seen this issue before. This is not your child. You only have temporary custody and may not even keep that. Then what? Baby lives with daddy? Maybe he's a great dad! Do you even have any idea whether he is or not? So YES it will get better. It's like dropping little ones off at daycare. They cry for a few minutes and then are fine. No big deasl. It is not traumatic except for YOU making it traumatic by being overly anxious. Now, if for some reason a visitation with dad is dangerous, then tell CPS. But please, don't discourage dad from visiting his baby. That's just wrong for baby and dad.
About the support- support and parenting time are two separate issues. You cannot deny parenting time because of lack of support. You would be committing a felony in many states. If there's a court order, then child support processing in your state or county or wherever will take care of it. Keep in touch with the caseworker.
Sorry to sound a bit harsh, but there's this thing called parental alienation syndrome. Please look it up. http://www.breakthroughparenting.com/PAS.htm
my mother and father have primary custody of my neice and nephew. My sister doesn't want much to do with them and their father isn't a great influence but does keep up with visitation but no child support (he doesn't keep a job either) The children dread going with their father and it's really hard fro my parents to let them go.
They come home with all sorts of bumps and bruises. Their father doesn't hit them or anything, he just doesn't pay attention and is on and off drugs all the time. My mother records EVERYTHING. She emails it to herself so there is a time stamp on the message just in case she has to use it in court.
If you think the child is in danger and you have proof, you need to keep really good records.
Seeing a therapist might not hurt either. It helps my mom to feel like she is doing something (journaling and telling someone else)
I hope this does get better. If it helps, kids often cry for their "Stable" parents but stop soon after they are out of sight. My son knows I'm coming back when I drop him off at preschool or sunday school, but it doesn't keep him from screaming. He's usually over it by the time I get to the end of the hall....doesn't make it hurt less for me though. Hang in there and give it over to the One who can do soemthing about it
