Last weekend we took our kids to buy their sport shoes. While my husband and the kids were in the youth section,I was browsing around. An store employee approached asking if I was interested in a youth training program. He probably didn't see me walk in with the kids and the program he explained, designed for 15 and up (my kids are younger than 15). I didn't want to embarass him so I told him that we would come to him when MY kids finished choosing their shoes, assuming it was about my kids. He disappeared spontaneously.
It's not the first time people mistook me for a kid, especially when I wear sport clothes.
I am 37, stand 5 feet and usually don't have time to put on make up. I noticed that men of other races not used to judge Asian women's age, often mistake me for a kid. I don't mind, but don't know how to react to an akward situation and not offending or embarassing people. I do pay attention chossing my dress cloth, but sometimes jeans and sports attire make me look even younger. Any suggestions about what to say or how to react, including humour to bail me out this kind of funny situation when it happens again?
Thank you very much.
Thank you so much to everyone who replied. All your advices are very precious. I am painfully shy (which is part of the kid appearance , I guess) so I need to rehears your suggestions there.
Have a good day.
I'll tell you how I react to people thinking I'm younger than I am -
Oh my, thank you so much - being 30 (or 37) doesn't feel so old anymore. :)
Or Oh my, thank you so much - I guess the botox is working. :)
Then I smile and go on about my business.
Congratulations.
S.
You have received a lot of good advice here, but I just want to add one more thing... You could be saying "How can I stop from being so angry with these people!!", but instead you are trying not to embarass them! You must be a really nice person!
And btw, I am 35 and LOOK like I am 35, so I AM JEALOUS!
Enjoy it!
:)C.
I am 45 years old and barely 4'10. With no makeup when I answer my door I have had several people ask to speak to my mother. I laugh and say "I am the mother". It's a compliment to me. My sister in law is 40, is also Asian and she still gets carded when we go somewhere where we drink. Enjoy it!
I would just thank them for the compliment. I am not Asain, I am 47, petite, 5'5" size 2 and look young for my age (except for my boobs). I'm of Native American heritage so I have long straight dark hair. Thanks to hormone patch my boobs are oversized for my body but I am not complaining.
My husband is just 52, Italian, great skin, good shape with salt and pepper hair. I am often mistaken as his daughter. Of course this makes his skin crawl.
My 14 yr old daughter has friends who say I am too young to have a 14 yr old. They think I am in my 20's and I do get mistaken for a student often when I am at the school.
ENJOY it!! It won't last forever!!
How lucky you are, enjoy. -But as for something to say, maybe, hey you eard a quarter, I am so flattered, but I'm their mom, or wife, or if no family around say I'm flattered, but am actually voting age, or 20 something, or even 30 something, without having to say your age, so they'd know you were a grown up, and not thinking you were pulling their leg by saying your acatual age, since you look so much younger. But like I say -enjoy, you are lucky..
I agree with T F. Just thank them for the compliment. It's not that big of a deal. It happens to a lot of women, me included. I wear my hair in a long pony tail often and when I'm in work out clothes without make up, I'm mistaken for a teenager. I'm always asked for my ID when others with me are not.
It's better than being mistaken for being older,so just shrug it off. There are worse things that could happen. The other day I mistook the cashier at the grocery for a man. When she asked me if I needed help out, I said, "no sir" and the name on her ID tag was SUSAN, clear as day. I felt awful.
You're bound to hear this over and over - be glad and enjoy! Our's is such a youth oriented culture. Of course, I say this while admitting that I have only a little understanding of the annoyance you might experience. My mother was often mistaken for being much younger than her years, and often felt she had to prove herself. (I did not inherit that problem.) But, I remember her smiling, laughing, and saying thank you to whom ever made wrong assumptions. She used to LOVE it when I was mistaken for her sister. She's 65 now, and unfortuantely doesn't have that problem any more. Enjoy it while it lasts. Best wishes!
Say "Thank You! You just made my day! I am old enough to be your mom/older than." (Or whatever is appropriate.) Make it casual like it was a huge compliment. Then smile big and go on. If you act all pleased, they will not be nearly so embarrassed.
V.
Simply say "Thank you, I wish I would have known about your organization when I was 15 but I will remember them organization when my children turn 15." I would not expend too much energy or time in these situations but not to the point of being rude. Believe me, you will appreciate your appearance when you are 50 or 60. Hope this helps.
My younger sister has this problem as well. She is 34 and still gets carded when she buys wine. She has found a pretty good response that hasn't offended anyone to date. She responds as follows, "You are so sweet and have just made my day! I am actually 34 and the mother of 2 great kids, but thank you for the wonderful compliment!
Wow! This one is tough. I often have this same problem, except people seem to have a need to tell me about the trials and difficulties they think face teen moms. I'm 29, I graduated college before I got married and had kids. But I look like I am in my teens. I think that simply stating the facts works pretty well. Sometimes people will be embarassed but. . . I do the same thing you did, just assume that they must be talking about my children and say that I will talk with my kids about it, they might enjoy that activity or like that color, whatever the situation. Of course if people act like you are a poor little child who shouldn't be all by yourself feel free to tell them that they should address you as "Ma'm" as you are their elder.
Hope this helps,
J.
I remember how frustrating it can be.....I always tried to 'dress up' when I was going out.....but, now....well, I am nearly 60 and in the past two weeks have been thought to be 40-45 by one and 35 'or so' to another......I tell them they are my new best friends...lol....I am 5'6" and have teenagers of my very own.....the last time I was carded, I was nearly 40.......I think in your situation I might say 'aren't you sweet.....do you have a program for my 6 and 7 year olds (or whatever your kids' ages?'......or simply....'you just made my day - thanks'.....good luck figuring out what works for you.......I remember when I was so frustated and people would tell me 'one day you will love it' ...they were right..........
I understand completely. I too have this "problem". I am 28 and 4'11" and I have 2 kids. I have been accused of being not being old enough to drive. Some people do it innocently and some people do it very negatively. My response differs with each situation. For the most part, I say I wish I was that young. If they press the issue that I look young, then I say it is a blessing and I will love it when I am 50. It is what it is. I try to not let people's passing judgments get to me.
Enjoy your youthful look. It is definitely what most people desire.
Aren't you fortunate!!
Next time it happens, smile, put your hand over your chest (in the flattered position) and say...
"Wow! What flattery! I am a 37 year old woman!!" And giggle sheepishly.
Then, nobody is embarrassed and the situation in fixed!
this happens to me and my sister all the time, i am only 5ft but she is like 5'3 but we are both asian and have round faces which i think makes us look younger too. i respond depending on the person if they are rude then i don't take it. but if it is an honest mistake then i just tell them that i am 26 and not a teenager. i get carded all the time and when i'm pregnant or out with my kids i often get strange looks but i just ignore.
I would just thank them and let them know that I'm not qualified or interested in blah, blah, blah due to my age. I've told folks that before...and it leaves both of us without embarrassment and in the end, who wouldn't want that complement ;)
Just smile and be grateful for awesome genes. I have had the same issue, in fact when my son was in Middle School I needed to go to the school office, before I could enter I had a teacher tell me to get in line and wait my turn. I simply told her I was a mom to one of the students. It is even more interesting now that my son is an adult and people think we are a couple; expressions are priceless when he calls me mom.
Yes, it can be aggravating, especially when you are looked at as if you dropped out of Elementary School to give birth. I just tell them that 40 and I have been fast friends for several years and that seems to bring a bit of levity to the situation and save them from embarrasment.
I had to laugh when I read this because it has happened to me as well. I remember when we first moved into our house, people at the door would ask for my mom. Uh, this is my house! It was kinda flattering though as most people wouldn't assume that someone fairly young (28-30 at the time) would have a house like we do.
Just chuckle and tell the person that you are glad that you look so young - it means that at 50, you will look 25!
I too have that problem, and usually get upset. I've found (if you are willing) getting a hair cut helps for a while. Not putting my hair in a pony tail, try a bun. I started to say "Aren't you sweet, I'm older than you think." or "I'm probably ten years older than you." My Mother says take it as a complement, and you'll appreciate it ounce your 40 (yeah right). I get upset, because I see age as wisdom. Therefore most of the time I try to be nice, but let them know they shouldn't assume things about others. He probably felt embarrassed. Good luck, and smile you look young embrace it.
I've had the issue of being thought of as younger, but not a kid. So I can see your frustration. I just wanted to say that moms on here have offered some great advice on what to say. And good for you for wanting to be considerate and getting advice to do so! Congrats on those young features and great personality!
Enjoy being thought of as that young! Smile and say "thanks!" People always think I'm alot younger than what I am, and I have the kids voice to match. Now, 45 years old, I'm so glad I don't look my age (or act it). You'll really be grateful later on in life. I know I am! :)
You could always thank them for the compliment, and let them know that you are a mother. Then you let them know you are older, but without being rude. You are returning their unawareness with appreciation.
I'm 4'10" and it happens to me all the time. I just put on my biggest smile and tell the person they are so sweet to pay me such a compliment, but I'm actually 29. If they get embarrassed, I let them know that it happens all the time and pretend like I'm really flattered. I used to tell my Pre-K students that I'm such a short grown-up because I didn't eat my vegetables as a kid!
I'm not Asian, so sometimes it's a problem of people looking at your height and not getting a good look at your face or clothes. So many people think I'm 16 that I got dirty looks looks from strangers when I was pregnant last year.
Hi Quynh-Anh, A couple of years ago my wife had one of our foster kids in prep at a private school and a young mother had her daughter there and asked her if she was about 35 and my wife looked at her and told her thank you for the compliment as she was about 20 years older. We have 3 grown up kids youngest 29 and 5 grandkids and 7 foster kids between the ages of 6 & 16. We are very good friends with this person and we laugh about it ocassionally. Ed
