How to Stop a 14-Month-old from Eating Dirt?

Your son sounds like a real "sensory" sort of guy -- he wants to taste and touch everything. All of the advice you've gotten so far is good. I'd also look into giving him a wide variety of safe sensory experiences -- try a wide variety of foods with different textures. Some kids love playing with a big bowl of dried rice or beans. Others really love playing with the water at bath time. (try swimming?).

He also sounds high energy, yet taking him outside for a walk is a challenge. When my kids were really young they liked a Gymkids class put on by the City of Sunnyvale. It gave them a wide variety of physical challenges. Are there still gymboree classes around?

Is Los Madres still around? Those were groups of mothers (organized by city in Santa Clara County) with kids of similar age. Going to the park days with other moms would be a good way to see how other mom's deal with the toddler challenges and give both you and your son a chance to socialize. My kids are both teenagers now, so I don't know the contact info for Los Madres. Can any one else fill in the details?

Hello S.,

First, take a deep breath and tell yourself this too will pass. I raised 3 of my own, and have 5 Grandkids, and this sounds like pretty typical behavior for a 14 month old who is just realizing he can get reactions quickly by being naughty. Smart boy. When I read down your list, those are all items that would immediately set a Mom off and get her attention right away. NOT saying you are not giving enough attention, please don't mis-understand. Perhaps he's bored, try putting up all his toys in sight but out of reach, he will turn his attention to that challange instead of the stove knobs and dirt, the challange of how to get his toys back. Since he is a smart little one, make sure he won't be able to figure out how to climb for them, don't want him put in danger, just challanged and distracted from his little rut he's in of keeping Mommy on her toes, he's having a blast with that!

Hi S., i hate to tell you this, but you're child is acting in a age-appropriate manner. he is learning about his world and none of that behavior is bad, it's just a learning experience. what you need to do is supervise a lot. i found that it's hard to do any chores with kids around until they are about 2 years old. until then, you must stay with him a lot. babyproof your house, some people put kids in jumpers or even put gates to keep them in one room or play pens, etc. when he does something that he shouldn't do then tell him he cant do it, why he can't and then remove the object or take him away from the object. after about the hundrieth time he'll get the point. children this age learn about objects by putting them in their mouth (their mouths are more sensitive than their fingers) so let him eat a little bit of sand couple of times, they usually don't like it and figure out quickly enough that sand is yucky in their mouths, but fun in their hands - all children eat sand at one time or another. if the dirt eating continues mantion to a pediatrician, since it can be a mineral deficiency but it may not be. since all of this is normal behavior and just learning experience, punishment does not seem to be appropriate. Time-outs and spanking may seem to work in the short term, but they chip away at their confidence and self esteem. the bad news is, your house may look like many houses do - messy - for a few more months. it gets better! good luck.

Just a quick thought on the dirt thing. My granddaughter used to eat dirt all the time, even scraping it out between the bricks on a firelplace and eating dirt in the yard and we found out she was iron deficient and was trying to get it from the dirt. She grew very quickly and was not getting the required amount for her body. I hope this helps some. You might want to check your child out for a deficiency when you see the doctor.

Dear S.,

Since you have a long list of things that he is not supposed to do, it's a good idea to eliminate the temptations, or ignore the behavior. For instance, turning the TV control is harmless, so you can unplug the TV or pay no attention when he tuns it up. He will get bored with it very soon as long as no one reacts. As soon as the novelty of something wears off, kids will stop unless they are reinforced, and even saying no is reinforcement. It appears that a lot of the "bad" things he does are to get your attention, and negative attention is just as reinforcing as positive attention. Go through your list of unwanted behaviors and sort them into three columns. One: the ones that you can prevent by denying him the opportunity (don't give him markers, don't open the dishwasher when he is around, don't give him cornmeal, don't vacuum around him, keep the garbage out of reach, etc. Two: those that are truly dangerous, (the oven knobs,for instance, ) and Three: the behaviors you can ignore (throwing food, as you said) Then proceed accordingly. Many two-year-olds do the things your son does, and they learn in time. By the way, he probably enjoys it when you pick up the food/bowls he throws, so when you do that it is a response that reinforces him. When kids are hungry, they eat, they don't throw their food. The second they are full, they start to play. So remove his food immediately, and get him involved in another activity. It's ok to say no once in awhile, but kids start to ignore it at a very early age, so use it for the really important issues, like running into the street, or whatever is a big deal for your family. At 14 months, it is very easy to redirect a child and give him something else to occupy him...distract him rather than make an issue of the improper behavior. Teach him what you LIKE and he won't have to do what you don't like, and give him attention when he is doing something you like. All this sounds fairly easy, but it doesn't come naturally. If you are really interested in the "training" concept of operant conditioning, read "Don't Shoot the Dog". It works on children (and adults) ! Good luck !

I agree that first you should rule out any medical/metabolic issues. One of the things you might want to do is to really try to understand the behavior. Psychologists will often do what is called a "functional behavior assessment' to try to understand and more importantly figure out how to respond to inappropriate behavior. In very simple terms for a child this age almost ALL behavior is communication. So, what's he trying to comunicate? You will need to look at the times when this behavior happens, is there a pattern to it? Where does this behavior happen, just at home? at school? at the store? What has happened just before this behavior occurs? What are your responses to the behavior and how does that affect it? In general, behavior is trying to accomplish a relatively short list of things
Medical /Physiological - This is where you ask your pediatrician to rule out any of those issues.
Attention - Look at me! play with me! you're not paying attention to me! The attention that he gets may be either positive or negative, they really don't care they're just getting your attention
Avoidance - You're expecting me to do something that I'm not yet capable of or that I don't want to do.
Need or Access - I want/need something and I will find a way to get it.
LIfe is pretty simple for a 14 month old. Our job as parents is to teach our children and keep them safe. This means setting limits and enforcing them consistently. It is NOT our job to make them happy(thought they will be despite our rules). Having predictable rules and limits give our kids a sense of security and something to push back against. Also we need to be sure to catch our kids being good and helpful and kind and reward that behavior whenever we see it. If the only attention they get is when we catch them doing something wrong that sets up a really bad pattern. If you can be sure to schedule in time for just the two of you to do something fun without distractions of housework or phone calls or TV then he will be more likely to accept it when you need to have him play quietly and appropriately by himself. You're doing a great job asking these questions at this age rather than setting up a really negative pattern and then trying to address it when he gets to be school age or older. Remember rules and structure are not mean, they're what kids need to feel safe and secure and loved in the world.

Hi, S.~

The good and bad news is, that's totally normal behavior. ;) Kids are learning about your responses at about a year old. Their motor skills are also more developed so they can pick up all those tiny things on the floor. Many kids at that age (whether they're in daycare or at home) will begin biting, hitting, or hair pulling. Your response will really shape their behavior! And taking steps to predict their behavior and suggesting other things before they begin the behavior that you don't want to see is key too.

I read a great article in Parenting Magazine that said our job is to keep our children safe from themselves when they're toddlers! LOL

Some of the things that are helpful are:

1. Be consistent. If it shouldn't be eaten, always say "icky", "yucky" or some variation when he gets it near their mouth.
2. Make sure your facial expressions match your words. Kids at this age read that more than the word itself.
3. If something is dangerous, respond more urgently and physically move your child too.
4. If you can, take more steps to babyproof things, like the stove and stereo, it may make your life easier!
5. The best way to get a child to stop a negative activity, is by getting them interested in a positive activity! If you see them going to something they shouldn't have, try distracting them with a better option before they even get started.

There are also lots of great books out there too on toddler discipline. One suggestion is "Happiest Toddler on the Block" by Dr. Harvey Karp.

Good luck! You're doing a great job so far if you're raising a curious and independent kiddo!

D. (mom to Jake 12 months)

- Garbage cans at home can be toddler-proofed; while out walking, don't even let him get close enough to touch a garbage can, no matter what.
- If he ignores you when he gets into the dishwasher, give him a time out --- one minute for each year. He'll get it. But, let him help you put silverware away when it's clean.
- If it won't poison or harm him, let him put the "garbage" or lint in his mouth. He will find out that a) it doesn't taste good or b) he doesn't like the furry texture of lint.
- After ruling out vitamin deficiency with pediatrician, also allow him to taste the dirt; guaranteed he won't like it.
- Remove the cornmeal/sand play area until he can play without eating.
- Washable non-toxic markers won't hurt him; all kids write on themselves and/or taste the markers when they first begin drawing.
- Time out for continuing to be near the oven and babyproof the knobs.
- There are plug protectors that allow things to be plugged in yet "locked" on to the outlet --- they are a little hard to snap up to open, but a toddler can't open them. Use these for everthing you've plugged into the wall.
- Time out or babyproof the volume controls on everything. My twin grandson went through this phase; we went nuts for a couple of weeks --- seemed like he was in time out for days, but one day he stopped playing with the volume.
- Absolutely do NOT tolerate biting. Time out.
- When he throws food, give him a warning, then time out AND remove the food until next meal. He'll figure out that throwing food equals going hungry.
- Again, when he throws a cup, dish or eating utensil, give a warning, then time out and remove everything until next meal. He will learn.

He is at the age where he's testing his boundaries. You must be consistent, remind yourself that this will pass, and NOT dwell on "being a meanie" or feeling like he's spending his whole day in time out.

A little "suffering" for both of you now will pay off in a big way.

Hi S.,

My daughter had some oral fixations as a toddler, eating cut flowers, etc. I understand your concern as we had to call poison control a few times with her. I later took her to an OT for evaluation. They had her using a special straw to force the sucking motion, using clay, etc. I'm sorry I can't remember all the details as my daughter is now 11 and doing just great. I am writing this to tell you that it's OK to ask for help. If you think this behavior is beyond normal toddler issues then talk to your pediatrician or maybe a pediatric OT (there's a great one in Cupertino if you live in the area). The therapists have so many tricks that seem so simple once you hear them but were things I never thought of. It's worth a try.

Good luck,
J.

Okay for ease I'm going to make this a list:

1. eating dirt-this can be a tell-tale sign of vitamin deficiency. Rule that out before going further.

2. Everything else-he's not too young for warnings and consequences. Give a warning, figure out a consequence. If he throws food or dishes, immediately warn him and if he doesn't obey, take him down from the table.

3. Be consistent. "NO!" when he touches things he's not supposed to. It's redundant, I know. If he keeps doing it, remove him from the situation. Physically move him. (I'm not talking time out).

I'm sure other moms will have some more info for you! Good luck

Hi, S.,

Yep, my 14 month old daughter does those exact same things. And my son did the same 3 years ago when he was that age. It is a "tough" age. Kids are mobile but so into moving around that they can't do two things at once (i.e. move around AND listen to your directions at the same time).

My advice is to baby-proof your house. And let your kid have fun and be free to not hear "NO" all the time. I am pleased my son didn't learn the word "NO" until he already spoke about 30+ words. Redirecting really helps, rather than making life a constant NO.

And go to the park. That will be a few hours of fun times and no toys for you to have to clean up at home. Yay!

Oh, and forget about loading the diswasher when your toddler is awake. Not going to happen. Guess that is what naptime is for!

Good luck!

H.

S.,
A lot of this sounds like pretty standard 14 month old behavior. Your son is exploring his world, not being defiant, and he's too young to get much benefit out of a time-out, except possibly to calm down if he's really worked up about something. In that case they say one minute for every year of age.

Some children do respond to redirection and/or "no" at this age and others don't. That doesn't mean he won't later. My older daughter looked at me and laughed when I said no until she was about 18 months, and yet the terrible twos never really developed. My 11 month old stops what she's doing when I say no, they are all different.

A lot of baby experts recommend setting up an environment where you don't have to say no and/or redirect so often... this is really what child-proofing can be about. For example, put the garbage someplace he can't get to it, like behind a baby-gate, in a cabinet with a child-proof lock, etc. (Simple Human makes a garbage can that locks). With a combination of physically preventing him from being able to get to some things, not doing some things when he is around (ie load the dishwasher when he's napping), allowing some of the things as long as he won't get hurt (tossing food and bowls... it's a stage, it will end), and watching carefully on the remaining ones, you make him more likely to respect the redirection and no's because it's not all he's hearing.

His putting things in his mouth is developmental, and different kids have different drive to do this. It's a tough time, you just have to watch them to make sure they don't eat anything dangerous, and accept that he's going to eat dirt. They all do.

As for the biting, a lot of children do it as a sign of affection. He really does think he's kissing you. What I did was just gently say "No biting, that hurts, kiss Mommy" and show my daughter a kiss. And, over three or four months I got bitten less and kissed more until it went away entirely.

Enjoy his curiousity, and just make sure he's safe and loved. The rest of it will come.

- A.