At What Age Is It Ok to Start Teaching Infant "No"?

Hi J.:
I agree with deanna. She gave you a great response.I agree,that redirecting them rather than (cver using) the word (NO) is much more effective.Because toddlers,are becoming much more independant,they get the feeling they are being bossed around or picked on. NO NO NO,is negative. This is why you will hear A common complaint here from mothers. "I tell my son NO, "but he acts like he doesn't hear me" This is because they tire of hearing it,and it goes through one ear and out the other. You will get alot further,refraining from the word (NO) and just directing him somewhere else or giving him something different to do,like deanna mentioned.You both win. I totaly agree with your child-proofing your home. I think it a bit cruel, and foolish not to,because then all your doing is toying,and tempting the child. Its as if Playing a game of (dare) if you will, and of course taking the chance of losing something that is of sentimental value.I have a great little test for all those mothers of toddlers. Get on your knees,and walk on them around the house.By the tv,and stereo,the cuboards in the kitchen, the bathroom. You can better see how your toddler views his world. I did this, and it was amazing what I learned. The knobs to the tv....right at eyes length. The stereo knobs...dvd player.... The cuboards with all the pots and pans...the toilet bowl...the fireplace....Yep, even the potted plants. lol. They are all right at eyes view!It hit me...." no wonder they put all that candy at the checkstand down low...its toddler height! I also came to realize just how small,and intimidated they must feel in front of a big adult. Try it. Please. It helps to understand them. I wish you and your darlin son the best.

At this age you need to prevent and/or redirect. If redirecting him isn't working as far as the plant goes, then move the plant. What kid, especially at that age, wouldn't want to reach in and get at the dirt? You could take him outside and show him where it is OK to play in the dirt. My son, well daughter too, love getting dirty, so I have a designated spot in our backyard where they can add some water from the hose, make some mud and play. The funny thing is, since I'm OK with it, they hardly ever do it anymore! LOL!

It's OK to use a firm "NO!" but I would try to save that for serious offenses or where he could get hurt.

Best wishes,
M.

How do you know he knows he's not supposed to do it?? Have you explained to him why it's not okay to put the dirt on the floor? How is he supposed to know if no one tells him why?

Kids are in constant discovery mode and without guidance and explaination, something you know is wrong can become a game to them.

It is not as simple as saying 'no', moving the child and then WHAM they know not to do it again.

Try redirection and explaination...it is recommended by many docs and therapists as a way to teach and guide kids even as young as yours to find alternatives when they know something is not okay...

For example, Timmy let's not play with The Palm tree it's dirty and makes a mess. But, Mommy would love to play with your cars (blocks, read a book...whatver). Change the direction of the behavior and create positive. If a tantrum ensues, explain that you understand they are mad, frsutrated...but, you're there when they are ready to play. Once the tantrum is over acknowledge the feeling and help them name it...you were angry, mad, sad, frustrated and that's okay. Move on with a new positive activity and be consistent.

The theory is that over time kids learn to redirect themselves without us moving them away from the 'not okay' situation, therefore teaching them right from wrong...a few simple words and the child will eventually move away from that behavior becuase we have guided them to know how to redirect.

Your little one is not testing you YET, but will when he gets older. Work with him now, and help him understand what he CAN do versus what he CAN'T do.

Good luck!!! And be patient...it just takes some time and practice.

Hi Jen, we started telling our kids no as soon as they could crawl and touch something they were not supposed to, we baby proffed our hose as far as safety goes but thats it, our kids are grown now, out youngest is 19, but when i was 26 and I had my first baby, my mother, who was a mother of 5 told me instead of baby proffing the house, to house proff the baby/kids, so I didn't put breakables away, and like you I had a big potted plant that in his walker he would go up to it and grab the dirt and throw it on the carpet, I tapped his hand told him no and moved him away, we did this with all 3 od our kids by one year/one year and a half we were able to take our kids any where to anyones home and they would not touch anything, the reason my mom told us to do it this ways because, when you go into stores and other peoples homes, things are not always put up out of reach, so they have have to learn just because they can reach it doesn't mean they could touch, and I also would tell them even at a year 2 years old if it's not yours don't touch it, and this was good becasue our kids had a respect for each others things at a very young age. J. L.

Hi J.!!

Your son is just exploring. What you have to remember, at 11 1/2 months old, he does not have a long term memory yet. When you tell him no or move him away from the plant. Five minutes later, he doesn't remember you telling him no or moving him away from the plant. He just sees something that is interesting, and he wants to explore what it is.

The whole throwing the dirt on the floor, is his way of trying to see how he can get a reaction out of you. It's just like when children throw their spaghetti on the floor at dinner time, or when they throw a toy out of a play pen repeatedly. They just want to see what the boundries are. You should be glad to see this pattern, it shows that he is developing properly.

As suggested before, redirect his attention to something else. If he throws a fit, let him calm down, then name his mood (ex, angry, mad, frusterated..ect.) Then get him interested in something that he can play with.

As a parent, I know that this is a frusterating age and phase. Unfortanatly, it doesn't get any easier.

Good luck!!

L.