I was wondering if it was too early to teach her when and when not to do things. For example, when she throws her sippy cup on the floor when she has a tantrum or screaming in the restaurant when she's having a tantrum. I understand that they need to express these outbursts because they don't know how to do it otherwise. It's not that I can't take it because I really can. It's just that I'm a first time mother and if it's not too early to do so I want to start. Usually I ask my pediatrician these things but he's a man and to me they are softies like my husband and would probably never want to tell their little angels NO. Any suggestions?????
she's not going to understand "no" for awhile.
Redirecting her when she throws her cup, or only returning it twice and on the third time it stays on the floor.
Comforting her when she is fussing/crying
Hi N.
Like others have said, I would continue to redirect redirect redirect and save the "NO" for when things are really serious so she understands then that you're serious. I try to save all "no's" for things like running close to the street or reaching on the counter for something that's dangerous (if I've left something within reach by mistake). When I say "NO" at our house, my two little guys stop in their tracks b/c they rarely hear it.
Remember - you can give the no "message" but saying something positive "please keep your cup on the table". After two times of throwing the cup, I would put the cup away as a consequence (she's just throwing it anyways). :-)
Not saying "no" doesn't make you a softie. :-)
Good luck!!
N., it is definitly not to early to tell this little angel No!. Just be sure that you are redirecting her appropriatly. For example when she tosses her cup tell her that it is not okay and take it away. Let her know she will get it back when she is ready to try again. As for the restaurant, It is very difficult for children that age to sit for a long time, especially when there is lots of interesting things just out of there reach. What works for me is bring some play-doh or a special book- something they don't get everyday but don't give it to her right away wait until you order and then give it to her. This will break up the time she has to sit and wait.
Patience, redirection and then explanation on their level is the best way. I still do not use "no" and my son is 2 1/2. Kids need to understand and No just doesn't cut it.
It's going to get harder, so practice up now ;)
C.
Hi again N.~
We are going through the same thing. I can't remember for the life of me what we did with the other kids at this age! I understand your dilemma, I know that there is an age where babies cannot control impulses...but how do you know when that is? I don't see the harm in gently saying 'no' while redirecting their hands to the toys that are allowable, or back into their little lap, or even while calming the outburst. There definitely IS a time when they must learn self-control and it doesn't happen overnight so it's up to us to start the teaching early. Just don't expect them to really LEARN it right away. They will in their own time with your guidance. Kudos to you for wanting to teach your kids discipline and appropriate behavior. Kids who know their boundaries truly are happier and more confident!
~L.
No its not too early they understand more than we know. Right now throwing the cup is entertainment for her.
