My 6 year old son has Asperger's & has had an IEP for about 6 months. I'm very happy with the interventions he's getting at school and feel we're on the right track. Last week I gave permission for the autism inclusion specialist at his school to talk to the kids in his class about autism/asperger's specifically in relation to my son. Then I realized that I haven't ever really talked to HIM about it! I have no idea where to start, but since the kids in his class will have a name for what makes him different, I think now is the time. Does anyone have any suggestions? How do you approach it with your own kid?
There are a lot of great children's books available written especially for children with Aspergers. I would check out the Autism Shop (www.autismshop.com) in Hopkins or their website. Maybe you could even read a story to his class. Kids love & absorb stories.. it's a fun way to teach a message.
Good luck!
C.
I think the conversation at this age with the class should be "we are all different" talks. You can bring up the ADS and how some children just think differently. If you decide to go through with the class knowing it about your son, then you MUST let him in on the secret before the class. It is not a good thing for everyone to have a secret and him to feel left out so to speak. It is not a good idea for him to hear it from classmates either. So I suggest, either you wait to tell the class or you do have a conversation with him. Go to the AuSM (Autism Society of Minnesota) and get some books. I can not think of them off the top of my head though. They talk about why "Tommy has the need for deep pressure & why he does not understand what others may find funny." We decided not to share it with the class by pointing my son out, but to discuss it as a general thing. When we had the general discussion in class, we were able to have the conversation at home. He was going to 3rd grade I think. Now that he is in 6th, we have asked him every year if he wants to tell his classmates and he has said no. He says "they know I am a little quarky, but they are okay with it, so why lable it." I guess with a reply like that, we just have to honor it. I can not believe he is the same kid that was nonverbal at 5. ~So maybe start with ________, have you ever thought about the fact you like thinks that not a lot of other kids seem to like.. Or _________, some kids are just not into trains the way you are. That is because everyone's brain is just a little different.~ If you go to the Autism Socity though, they have wonderful books. Ask Barb to suggest some and they will even let you borrow them. I hope this helps.
I ran into the same issue with my child, although at an older age (10yrs). At our school the autism teacher discusses special needs with the classes (not sure if it only classes with autistic children or every class regardless). During the talk to one of my younger child's class- they mentioned my child has a brother with autism. That day he came home and said he didn't know his brother had autism. We've never hid it, but asked the school when he was first diagnosed if we should tell him. Our son was 6, almost 7 at the time. They recommended not to talk to him about it yet. We didn't want to make him feel he had a label on him to make him feel different until he was ready to handle it. We agreed with that and that decision has worked well for our family. I think before that time he really didn't need to feel he had an obstacle to overcome (or an excuse not to work on his issues). But each child is different. The day our younger son approached us, we decided that was the time to sit down with our child with autism and discuss it with him. It was a lot less dramatic than I thought it would be. He took it really well and seems to understand. He is a very smart child and because of the Aspergers he is very scientific in his approach to everything. Honestly it hasn't changed anything in our house with him knowing! Good luck to you! If you'd like to talk, please contact me!!
Kids at this age are much more accepting than we give them credit. My son goes to OT and has an IEP for Autism spectrum and sensory issues. I am amazed by the number of kids at his school who say good bye to him when I pick him up after school. I know I have the weird kid, but he's apparently popular too.
Talk to him straight. Any of the interventions he is getting at school, already make him feel different. Talk to him about it. How does it make him feel. I think you'll be surprised by how much he already knows and has taken in. The thing about kids on the Autism Spectrum is that they always seem like they are living in their own little world, but they are really taking in more than we give them credit for. My son shocks me ALL the time with that sort of thing.
Good luck. I think it will be easier than you think.
