I'm a retired police officer and police marriages are often disrupted by the violence and stupidity with which officers deal every day. Rarely are our experiences as heavy as the ones seen by soldiers during war but the stress on their marriages is similar.
It's my understanding that counseling is available for military families. I don't know your situation in relation to a base but I'd make phone calls until you find a resource for help.
It's also my understanding that the military, just as the police, want spouses to tell commanding officers if there is extra stress at home. Even tho your husband probably denies it, fighting at home does affect work and can put him and his co-workers in danger. If you have to, use the threat of calling his CO as a way of getting him to seek counseling on his own.
He may not be suffering PTSD. Actually he probably isn't if he's still on active duty. However, how was he evaluated? If you know what the professionals are looking for you can usually fake it and come out looking OK. Did he tell them about what was happening at home? I suggest that you may have to be the one who seeks counseling for him.
I also suggest that you get counseling. Doing so will help you learn ways to manage your stress as well as ways to deal with your husband. Towards this end I also suggest that you look up non-violent communication on the Internet. It's about wording what we say in such a manner that the other person is better able to hear what we mean.