D.K.
I would have to say that NO it was NOT reasonable. You can't expect him to work on the relationship if YOU'RE not willing. It sounds like you're not willing. You're just expecting him to get it and change to conform to your own mental image of the perfect family. That's not real life.
Men aren't as comfortable around babies as women are. It's a fact. They connect better with older children that can be more active. Your daughter's reaction to him is normal too. You're her primary care-giver, so she wants you. Period. Easy to understand.
If your husband were to jump in and do more of the care-taking chores with the baby, she would begin to respond to him. If you were to lay off your husband and be supportive, he would eventually grow up all on his own. You both need to compromise and you both need to be trying to see things from the others' point of view.
This really just sounds frivolous to me. I think you're WAY too ready to just throw your marriage away because you have a few area of discontent. Seriously, most women (and men) deal with far less perfect marriages than you have and they make it run beautifully with hard work, love and understanding.
The MIL situation is a little weird, but look at the bright side. At least she's not up your rear end, telling you how to raise your own child and interfering in every aspect of your lives. So her and your husband haven't cut the apron strings yet...big deal. That's easy to fix. Just get him tied to yours instead. You've got a lot of ways to relate to him that a mother just doesn't have. Instead of pushing yourself OUT of the picture, you need to be painting yourself INTO it. Eventually his focus will shift to where it belongs as long as you make your loving presence felt at all times. (That means NO NAGGING!!) For example: when he's leaving for work, have baby on your hip, give him a big kiss and say "we'll miss you while you're gone daddy and we'll be looking forward to seeing you when you get home!" Big smile, another big kiss. Linger at the door and watch him pull out of the driveway. Just let him know that you love him and need him. That's all most men need to feel totally satisfied with their lives. They just need to know that their lady needs them and depends on them.
Parting thought: Kicking your husband out is in NO way going to help him relate to the baby better.... he needs to be spending more time with her and separate living arrangements aren't going to accomplish that. When he tries to hand her back, gently tell him "This is normal, she'll get over it. She just needs to learn how great daddy can be too. Just hold on to her and take care of her needs, sing to her, read her a book, play with her and you'll be her hero."
Please, go find your husband right now, wrap your arms around him and tell him "I'm sorry. I was wrong. I don't want you to go. I love you and I want to be around you. I want us to be a family. Please stay and we'll work all of this out together." You'll never regret it.