I Lost My Baby

I am so sorry for your loss, J.. I had a miscarriage in 2005, so I can relate on some level. If you would like to talk, feel free to send me a message!

I'm so sorry about your lost. It's hard. I don't think there is anything you could have done to prevent it. I don't really think it's your fault. Sometimes these things just happen. Try to find a support group with other mothers who have been through the same thing. Your doctor or a local hospital could probably recommend one. I hope you got a chance to name your daughter and say goodbye to her.

Y.

As I have read through all the other replys you have gotten I agree, there is nothing you can do to prevent a miscarriage. You do need to get a full check up and find out why this is happening. My very first pregnancy resulted in a still birth at 36 and 1/2 weeks. I then had a full term pregnancy that resulted in a healthy baby boy who is now eight, then I miscarried twins, and then had two more healthy babies ages 4 and 2. If you live anywhere near Pittsburgh I would recommend going to Magee Women's Hospital they took very good care of me there and they are well prepared to be able to help you find all of the answers you need. Good luck, and as for coping, honey you gotta take it oneday at a time, I still grieve from time to time about my son, its gods will and you will think about your baby girl every day for the rest of your life but it will get easier.

Hi J., I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for your loss. I run an infant loss support group in York, so I don't know where you live, but if it's near York you could attend my meetings. They still really help me. I've had 2 early miscarriages, a stillborn son at 31 1/2 weeks, and a daughter born at 23 1/2 weeks who lived for 3 days. So, I think I know some of the pain that you are feeling. If you want to email me privately, feel free to do that, it's ____@____.com Care!
A.

((hugs))
I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks and know how devastating the experience is. Unfortunately, the statistics say that about 25% of pregnancies end in miscarriage. I know that is a scary stat, but I hope it puts things in a perspective. From what I have read, most miscarriages are due to the fact that there was something wrong with the embryo (genetic abnormalities, improper attachment to the uterus, etc). If you haven't done this already you could see your gynecologist for a check-up to make sure there is no physical reason for your two miscarriages (heart shaped uterus, ovarian cysts). If nothing turns up there, just let your body heal for a bit and keep trying. When I went through this I found a great message board with other women who were dealing with the same thing. It really helped to have that support system. The women I met there were wonderful. Here is the link tothat board if you are interested. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-ppttcmiss

My thoughts are with you.
E.

I'm really sorry to hear about this.

I lost my son last year when I was 16 weeks pregnant.

If you can, go to a therapist or a support group. There are support groups in Philadelphia for parents who have lost infants. http://www.unitegriefsupport.org/

It really helps to talk to other people who have had similar experiences.

I am so sorry for your lost. I also have a friend that had at least 4 miscarriages before recently giving birth to a healthy baby girl. She was a labor and delivery nurse so she knew all of the right things to do and still had problems with several pregnancies. Unfortunately I think there are sometimes when you really just can't do anything to prevent them. I can't imagine how difficult it is to go through, but try not to blame yourself for causing it.

Oh sweetie I am so very sorry for all your losses. Unfotyunately miscarriage is all too common. I know the pain and heartbreak you're going through. Your story is exactly like mine as I am 22 and I have also had 3 losses (all between 12 and 14 weeks although my babies never developed past 6-8 weeks). I had blood work done and testing on my third baby but everything came back normal. We finally decided to have an HSG a procedure where they inject dye into your uterus and take an x-ray to look for unterin abnormalities) and that's when we found out I had a septum that was causing my losses. Luckily it was able to be removed via surgery and since then, I have been able to go on and have a healthy full term pregnancy resulting in my beautiful son.

Please know that there is still hope. I would ask your Dr to run every blood test possible and request an HSG. Since you've had 3 miscarriages already, most Drs will start testing.

In the meantime, there are some things you can do to remember your angels. You can plant a tree or bush (I planted rose bushes), make a memory box of keepsakes from your pregnancy and things that remind you of them, write a poem or letter to them, name then, light a candle on special dates in memory of them. Do whatever you need to do to help you through this and don't let anyone discourage you or tell you you're wrong. Everyone grieves differently and people who haven't gone through a pregnancy loss don't realize that you're still losing your child no matter how far along you were and it hurts just as bad. If you need to, ask your Dr or hospital if there is a support group in your area. I have been going to a support group since my second loss and it really helps to have people to talk to who have been where you are. If there are none in your area, you can always find support groups online. I go to a great message board and have been going since my second loss. There are ladies there from around the world that are going through the same thing as you are.

If you'd like the message board page or if you just need someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to emial me ____@____.com. I'm always here to listen. Take care of yourself and I pray you find an answer for your losses. God less.
-K.

Withought having taked to a dr I guess not much you can do. If it helps I know of several woman who have had as mnay as 3 and 4 miscarrages before having several sucessful pregnacies. Good luck to you. I lost my son 7 years ago when I was 18 weeks preg. It was a very painfull experience. It gets easier as tiem goes on yet you never really get over the hurt from the loss.

J.,
I am so sorry for your loss. I know that no amount of sorries or "I know how you feel" will make you feel any better. But, there are a lot of women, including myself, who have been through this. I had a stillborn, at 34 weeks, almost 3 years ago. Then, after my twins were born, I also had a miscarraige when I was 6 weeks along. To tell you the truth, I find it hard even wanting to get pregnant again, knowing there is the possibility of loss. But, true love, even with children requires a lot of risk. One thing I did with my first angel, was a had a little get together on his birthday with some of my close family. We had a bunch of balloons and wrote messages to him and sent them off to Heaven. I have some great suggestions for reading if you would like to email me please ____@____.com

J.,
I feel for you. Last may, I lost my 4th. But then things got better. The following month, I got pregnant again and we just celebrated her first birthday. Sometimes, there is just nothing you can do. It can sometimes be Mother Nature's way of saying, "look, I'm sorry, I messed up and I need to take it all back so I can make it right". it is so cruel. I had to think of it as "if there was a problem with the baby, what kind of life would she live if she were born? Yes, I'd love her, but my heart would be aching every day becayse she would have some sort of problem". Don't gt me wrong, my best friend was in a wheelchair from a botched surgery she had for an amputation because she had spina bifida, so I know that the quality of life is what you make it. I just know me and I know that there is nothing I can tell you to make you feel better about it. It is a loss all in the same.
If it eases your mind, though, there are several things that you can do in the meantime until you do get pregnant again. Becasue they rely on your health, I'll wait until you e-mail me before I give you any advice on it though. Some tests even involved my husband. If you would like the info, feel free to message me and I will help you. In the meantime, prayer in your god will help. Lean into your faith a bit, even if in your own mind. Exercise and eat right to keep yourself healthy. Depending on where you are from, I can even direct you to people that can help you.
If you can, find a way to relax. That is the number one thing you can do for you right now.
I hope this helps some and I hope to hear from you.
Jenn