I had a very exhausting day with my two year old. It was pouring rain and we were in and out of the car almost ten times going different places to stay busy.
I came home and wanted to sit down for ten minutes while dinner was cooking.
DH usually watches Elmo with DD while I make dinner.
So I went to sit down with them and first he asks me to take one thing out of the oven, which I did. Then I sit down again and he goes "the fish needs to be taken out."
I sarcastically said "when do I get to sit down?"
He goes, "after she goes to bed."
&*!!!%^****. HIM! (I feel like canceling his band rehearsal tomorrow night!!) Argh!
Yes, dictate orders while you sit on your duff and watch Elmo and I was running around all day.
OK, he works out of the home full time, but his remark was unnecessary.
So what comment has made you want to blow a gasket lately??
When I confronted him, he said "well she (DH) was laying upside on me. I'll let this slide--once...
I would have responded, "Thanks for telling me. After you get the fish out of the oven, can you set the table? I'll be in the bathroom using the toilet. Lily hasn't let me pee all day today and it's the first time I'll be able to sit."
Oh, Dear-if "they" so much as speak-it is just wrong-even if no one is around to hear!
When he said "the fish needs to be taken out" I would have said "guess you better get in there before it burns!" and I would NOT have gotten up. I would have let the stuff burn. I don't really care if I eat dinner or not so it would not have bothered me in the least to let his fish burn!
After that, I'd have gone upstairs to take a shower without a word and let dinner burn. He can figure it out.
My husband gave me such a hard time about stopping at Starbucks the other day. I'm still mad about it. Heaven forbid I get a coffee that costs $5! Now I'm going to buy more just to piss him off.
I would have taken the fish out and left it on the counter, and then gone upstairs for the NIGHT. He sounds like he's talking to an employee instead of his wife.
Dawn
Tell him "This ain't a hotel. You are a grown up. You can do that yourself."
So what if he works in the home or outside the home. Or if the wife is a SAHM or not.
It is his home too, his kid, his Wife and he is a PART of ALL of that. No one is exempt.
Just tell him, repeatedly whenever he asks such things "You can do that yourself. It aint' the Dark Ages."
What an irritant, huh?
Have HIM... do things around the house.
Or, go on strike. Don't do anything for him.
He is not a child.
Or the next time he tells you to do something... say "Why?" Then just sit there and don't do it. Then he will ask you again to do it, and say "Why?" again. And just keep saying that, UNTIL he can come up with an adult like answer. And until then, just don't do it.
Then... ASK HIM TO DO THINGS. "Honey, go get the laundry." "Honey, get me a cup of water." "Honey, bring me that magazine." "Honey, change the channel for me." "Honey, bring me the tv remote." "Honey, give me a foot rub." "Honey, go check the oven." "Honey, I'm hungry, go make me a snack."
Try to maintain an even tone of voice and ask if he can do it--then you'll see his rationale. The issue then becomes a conversation.
I might've popped off with "it's not my turn to walk the fish"
The fish comment reminds me of that scene from War of the Roses when Douglas blows a gasket. "I would highly recommend passing on the fish tonight" says the waiter. Lol!
Right now I'm about to blow a gasket over my daughter who is pressure washing the back porch, and my son along with it. All I can see is the bigger mess she is making and all the mud he's about to track into my freshly cleaned house. But who am I to tell her she's doing it wrong? Her reaction to that remark would totally cause me to blow a gasket.
This is so funny and typical men. My husband use to say things like "somebody needs to clean the fridge, or someone needs to clean up after the dogs ect.. So one day trying to get my point across I replied to him "Well apparently I'm NOBODY around here so you'd better go and tell somebody" He got it, no we both understand that if he or I see something that needs to be done. That person now does what ever needs to be done, and everyone feels like Someone.
I used tell my hubby not to tell me what to do, because I already know....
"Last time I checked, you weren't 6 yro."..."Can't you see, I'm about to do that, are you blind or just like giving orders like your mom?"....etc. These comments only made him say these little "tick starters" more often or set up a bad atmosphere. Now I just say, "Thank you for reminding me." or "I'm rather busy at the moment." or "Sure after I ______." with a really scarey fake smile like Bree uses on "Desparate House Wives." He will then get up and do it himself. Sets a better astmosphere and the tension goes away quicker, so I can concentrate.
My husband's favorite quote during the summer (when I'm off because I teach) is "Well, somebody has to work around here!" Oh, that just pisses me off...Believe me, he gets that I'm pissed by it...I am by no means quiet when I'm irked. LOL! :)
