I'm Having a Very Hard Time Dealing with My Infant Going to Daycare in 2 Weeks

D.,

Psychologists have done a ton of research on children being sent to daycare FT, PT, or with stay at home moms. There is NO difference. The biggest difference was seen by moms that were upset by the separation. The babies felt that upset. Know that daycare can be a wonderful experience for your little one. Allow yourself to get used to the idea and don't try to fight it. The more you can allow yourself to relax, the more likely that your child will have a great time.

Do not listen to the negativity. People know about ONE child that was abused, but they neglect the MILLIONS of children who thrive in daycare. Allow yourself and your son to adjust to daycare for a few months. I things really don't feel right, then look into another daycare.

I wish you peace and happiness with your decision.

Hi D. ~

It could be the best daycare in the WORLD, but it will never be a substitute for YOU! NO ONE can have the love for your child that you have. If you are willing to accept that, you'll just have to buck up and deal with it. I couldn't, so I stayed home. It was a financial sacrifice, but my children are older now and no amount of money would have been worth the time I spent with them.

Make sure you have open access to drop in ANYTIME you want to check on your child. You should not have to give notification or get permission to see or pick up your child at anytime you choose. Make sure there are TWO people present at ALL TIMES with the children. There should be windows on the doors, so anyone can look in at anytime. Believe me, my sister thought she had the BEST (Dr's and lawyer's kids), and her child was sexually abused at the age of 3 in daycare. Whenever you put your child in the care of someone other than yourself, there is always a risk - no matter how much investigation you do. All you can do is try to stay on top of what goes on.

I wish you good luck. ~ K.

Hi D.,
Both of my children went into daycare a 7 weeks. Yes it is hard, and yes it will get better as you get into a routine. Just remember that it is a good thing for him to learn to be comfortable around other people. It will help you in the future.

As for the daycare, perhaps you could arrange for him to go to the daycare for 1/2 days one or two days while your Mom is here? Sort of ease yourself into the routine, see how he adjusts, etc. When my son was 3 we changed daycares and that's how we did it. He went to the new daycare 1 day a week for 1/2 for 2 weeks before he started full time. It seemed to help. Also, remember to stop by the daycare a day or so before he starts to drop of his stuff (diapers, wipes, clothes, etc) so that on Monday the dropoff will be easier.
M.

I completely understand. I too sent my twins to daycare and it was very hard...BUT I knew it was the best option for them AND me. I knew for me personally I would really miss working since I like my job and know I don't have what it takes to be a stay at home mom. I think the socialization and skill sets they will learn are invaluable and I don't have any sort of teaching experience so it was the right choice for us. I agree with another mom who suggested taking them ahead of time (if they have the room). The week before they started officially we took them for 4 hours on Monday and Tuesday, 5 hours Wednesday and 6 and 7 on Thurs and Friday. It allowed me to get my act together (last minute errands) as well as go through the emotional side of it without having to drive to work crying. Yes, i think crying is inevitable, even though you are doing nothing wrong!

Good luck. Millions of women experience exactly what you are experiencing and those same women are now giving you advice! You'll be doing the same thing for another mom in a few months. Have faith in yourself that you did the research and made the right decision.

I know exactly how u must be feeling. I didnt put my daughter in daycare...I entrusted her to a family member when I went back to work she was ony 6 weeks. I remember crying to my Father telling him how afraid I was that she would become more attached to Grandma than me. I cried for the first whole week...
Now 4 years later I am sending her to Pre-k on the school bus! I actually look back and laugh at how worried I was. Though I am still concerned everyday she leaves this house..I am not worried. It is natural for you to feel that way, and it will pass.
Good luck and dont worry it'll be alright

Honey, I know it seems like the end of the world, but you and the baby will be all right and come out of this just fine. I know how you feel and the only advice I can offer is just take it slow. don't just go and quit your job or do anything irrational, just trust that the people caring for the baby know what they are doing and they will call you if there is anything that they have questions about. You can always stop in for a visit, I just don't recommend it in the first week or two since you both need to adjust to the new surroundings and stopping in will cause a bigger problem and make it harder to make it through your day.

I put my daughter in daycare at 12 weeks. Unlike you, I was less than thrilled with my first provider and ended up switching.

When you go and pick him up at the end of the day and he is well-cared for and happy, it will get easier.

Remember that the people who go into childcare generally genuinely love children and caring for them. The ladies in the infant room at my daughter's second daycare were wonderful (the ones in the first were pretty nice too, but the place wasn't well run).

It will be fine.