Let me start by saying I don't think my MIL would ever intentionally do anything to harm my daughter, but that said I don't trust her. Honestly, I don't know why I don't trust her she raised three wonderful boys, but I have a sick feeling in my gut everytime I think about her watching my daughter. She is suppose to watch my daughter on Saturday night while my husband and I attend a wedding. We will be gone overnight. I was fine with it because my brother in law and sister in law live with her and would be there to help. My SIL went into labor today, about 3 weeks early)and eventhough they will be home they will have a newborn and a 3 year old. Now I'm concerned that my MIL is going to be watching the 3 year old and my 6 month old daughter. I'm equal opportunity when it comes to trust issues. I wouldn't trust my mom to watch a 3 year old and my daughter at the same time either. I just think my MIL and my mom for that matter just don't have the energy levels needed. We are not talking about an hour or so, she will be watching her from about 3 pm until 9 am. Is there a way I can suggest possibly having my MIL's sister come over or another adult to help? I was thinking of wording it like "Maybe you should have your sister come over and keep you company since it will be such a long day." I'm sure some of you other moms have had similar trust issues. Did you get over them? And if so, how?
I am a firm believer in trusting your gut. I am the same way. I dont anyone watch my children that I have a bad feeling about, including my MIL. I think it would be very hard in a household with a 3 year old,newborn(even though she is not watching this child), and your child.
relax! go have a good time! talk to her before hand if it makes you feel better, but with that time period, they'll be sleeping most of the time. go have fun!
it sounds like this is your first child, so i think that plays a large role in your nervousness. i have three kids, 7 months, 3 years, and 6 years. i don't have any trouble having a responsible babysitter watch all of mine for a few hours, or my mom watching them overnight. really, 3pm - 9am is a fairly easy stretch. playtime, dinner, play a little more, bath, bed... unless your mil is unhealthy or very elderly, i think she'll do fine :) two kids is truly not that difficult.
I have friends that keep mine, but I can't bear the thought of any of my family members (with exception of my sister) watching them. My main reason is because they just don't have the same values we do and the few times my mom has kept our son, he has learned some very new things that we don't like, and we have trouble breaking him from saying/doing them. He's learned things that we can't take away from him if that makes sense.
If you feel it in your gut, you should really (IMO) look for someone else. Mom's instincts are almost always right.
As long as your MIL is a good person and loves your daughter, I see no reason not to trust her. I felt the same way with my oldest son when he was a baby, but have become more trusting as he has gotten older. I think new moms just don't trust anyone with their little bundle for the first year or so. I'm sure a mother of 3 boys can handle 2 children overnight. Just because older people don't have as much energy as they used to doesn't mean they aren't capable of watching children. My mom is in her 70's(although she seems more like 60) and watches my 2 sons all the time. They are 5 and just turned 2.
I am not sure I understand what it is you don't trust with your MIL?? Is she too old to handle the baby? Is she not careful with the baby? Is she doing unsafe things? I am guessing you would feel this way about anyone watching your precious cargo... If she is a normally functioning, loving adult then I think you have some trust issues to work through. Has she ever watched your daughter for a short while?? I would start there - an hour or so at a time.
It is always hard to leave your baby the first time - normally having family to watch is such a blessing - and so I am wondering what the problem is??
Good luck.
I think you are just a little scared of leaving your daughter for the first time. You say you don't trust your own mother or MIL. You even said she did a wonderful job raising 3 boys. You talk about how great of a husband you have, don't you think that came from his upbringing? I'm no where close to be a grandmother, but I would be hurt if my DIL wouldn't let my grandbaby stay with me. From your bio you seem like a woman of faith, trust in God! Have a good time at the wedding!
To be honest I think that MIL would let you no right off if she wasnt able to take on two .As a grandmother and my daughter in law or daughter felt I wasnt able I would be totaly offended and would let you no not to plan on me at anytime.Please talk it over and nicely ask her if she is sure she could handle it dont sujest you feel she cannt handle it.Be careful not to burn a bridge.
Trust your gut. Mothers have a 6th "sense" or whatever they call it for a reason!
