Infant Son Crys Constantly

All the Mom's have good advice. I would definitely try wearing him in a wrap/ carrier around the house. He may just be anxious from the separation like you said and needs comfort. It will pass, but I agree, you can't "spoil" a 9mo old. Hope it passes soon! You may get another opinion from a diff pediatrician (sorry if that's already been said).

9 months old is a "growth-spurt" time.
He is hungry.
He needs to be fed... breastmilk or Formula, which ever you are using.
A baby's intake levels has to keep pace with the growth and development of a baby... if not, they will be undernourished.

He is not spoiled. A baby needs comforting and bonding. These are crucial for the development as well. And for brain development. And for proper development.

For the 1st year of life, a baby's PRIMARY source of nutrition is from breastmilk or Formula and they NEED to be fed ON-Demand. 24/7 day and night. Solids and other liquids, are NOT their primary source of nutrition. This is per our Pediatrician.

And yes, "separation-anxiety" is NORMAL. It is a part of NORMAL development... if a baby does not go through this, they are then not developing normally. So, your son, is only doing what a baby does.

I recommend the book: "What To Expect The First Year", and "What To Expect The Toddler Years", which you can find at any bookstore or online.

Your baby needs to be fed. He is hungry. That is what babies do. Especially at growth-spurt periods. EVERY 3 months or so, a baby goes through growth-spurts. It is NORMAL.

You need to feed and comfort your baby.

all the best,
Susan

Our son got REALLY whiney for awhile... right before he started scooting around. There's nto a ton you can do. OUr house is pretty open floor-plan wise so I would put him where he could still see me and then if he started to whine I would sing songs or play peek-a-boo while I did whatever I needed to do. Sometimes a cracker is an ok diversion. At 9 months, they are possibly goign through a growth spurt, so I'd say if he's hungry give him food. At this point, I don' tthink you are really setting him up to always use food as a comforting thing. Our little guy truly lets us know when he's hungry. Sometimes, even if they've eaten already, they are still hungry. Is he eating solids? Sometimes the challenge of something new is a good distraction too. It will stop!! I woulld say, take a deep breath, make sure he's safe, fed, and entertained and find times to let him be by himself. Even if it's just a few minutes at a time while you take a moment to breathe.

Could it be a food allergy? My daughter (13 mos.) had an appt. with her GI yesterday and the Dr. said excessive crying/fussing could indicate an allergy. With my daughter, she was reacting to soy in foods/milk. Not sure what he is eating, but it might be worth looking into.

9 months is too young to be spoiled so thats definitely not it. I forget if its acid reflux or milk allergies but something thats stomach related sometimes makes babies cry constantly b/c they're uncomfortable. Plus, eating makes the stomach feel better so they constantly want to eat too in an effort to soothe the pain. Maybe get that checked out. If thats not it, then by all means, feed him when he's hungry. He's probably going through a growth spurt! This too shall pass. Best of luck,

J.,

I remember my first being similar at some stages in her babyhood!! I feel for you!!!! Do you have a baby swing? My daughter only liked hers for those brief periods of emotional discomfort. But she's a girl, and she's 8 now I wonder if I can find her another one!? ;) Putting your son in a safe quiet place to be when you just can't hold him is a perfect idea. Maybe the rocking motion will help, he might hate it too. I hope not though!!! Something that helps with our 12 month old right now is a complete change of scenery. If I can't seem to get her to let me be we go outside. Rain, snow, shine... outside. We look at the trees we talk about the dog we look at the park across the street (notice I said look, I'm not going there yet! hahahaaa!) But doing this usually takes mental fortitude on my part... letting the dishes sit, the laundry sit, the whatever... it is hard.

On another note, I saw your update... is he teething? That makes my daughter crazy right now. Crazy with the hold meeeeees! Makes me a little nuts. Try some orajel on his gums, even if it doesn't look like he's needing it. My daughter's teeth that are coming in have been moving around and causing pain for months now.

You can do it, find that thing that will just help him out. He's going through a bit of a change right now and you three are all getting used to it. Best wishes to you and your ex and your baby! :)
V.

Is it possible that he's teething? Maybe he has a gassy belly?

You don't mention whether you are breast or bottle feeding. If you are bottle feeding, try adding a ounce to the bottle and see if it helps.

For keeping him with you all the time, try the following:
- Put him in an umbrella stroller so that you can scoot him around with you.
- Put him in a playpen in the room you are in.
- Get a baby backpack carrier that he can sit in, and your hands will be free!

Good luck
M.

Perhaps try putting him in a carrier, so he can be next to you and snuggled up, but you can keep your hands free to still get some things done.

totally agree with SH. Give your baby what he needs, regardless of the reasons. food or love. Once he has that security, he might change.

It sounds like a lot of it does have to do with going between houses. It sounds like you both have different styles of parenting. I would suggest sitting down and talking through your daily routines and coming up with one routine that both of you stick to. It will create more balance and less change and insecurity in his life. He is probably a little confused and having some seperation issues. Does cry that much with his father as well? It really is up to you two to talk about this and come up with a way to deal with it together. No matter how you feel about each other, you have to work together to raise your son (i'm not trying to say you aren't, I don't know). Good luck, I hope he calms down.

C.

Don't worry. This too shall pass. My son did the same thing at that age. Took him to the doctor...couldn't figure out what it was. Come to figure out he was going through a growth spurt and ate every hour and a half. (Also was teething.) So pick him up, hold him, feed him, make sure he doesn't have gas (mine had that too...all at the same time....Mylicon drops worked wonders), gave him Highland teething tablets, Baby liquid Orajel on this gums and we got through that stage after about 3 mos max. I will tell you..........he's now 16 months, has not gone through that stage again and finished his growth spurts by 12mos but went through them up until then. Hold him...........I know it's annoying, frustrating but you can't spoil him at this age and he's telling you what he needs/wants the ONLY way he knows how: crying. Try it all and you'll get through this shortly...........I promise. : )

Hi there, I know you mentioned that he falls asleep for a couple of minutes but then cries again. Do you have him on a nap schedule? I know my kids are very cranky all day if they do not get their naps. At around 2-3 hours after my son wakes in the morning (he is 8 months), I put him down for a nap and then another afternoon nap. He will usually sleep an hour or so each time. Good luck and hope your little one gets better for you :)

What are you doing to amuse him? Although he's only 9 mos old, I bet he's a very busy little guy. Our son loves to go on walks, play in his Jumperoo and his exersaucer. Also, we have several toys that have lights and sounds that he is really amused by...a Fisher Price "radio", a caterpillar "alphabet pal" with different colored legs, etc. Perhaps he's bored?

I am sorry that you are going through this. It's hard enough being a Mom, but to already be divorced and have a baby to shuttle between houses sounds very tough. I wouldn't doubt if he's "confused" too. It has to be difficult for him to see you, then you're gone, to see dad, then he's gone, to sleep in this bed, then that one...etc. Perhaps he's just crying out of frustration and confusion?

I wish I had a definitive answer for you. Perhaps a counselor could help you. For your sanity. For your son's happiness. And for some "balance" for both of you. You can't be SuperMom. See if you can get a referral from your pediatrician on someone who can help both of you.

Best wishes

I am sorry because I know first hand how stressful this is!!! I agree with the person who posted that he may simply be hungry. This is a time of growth spurts and it seems like mine ate constantly! Is he eating yet in addition to the formula? What happens when you feed him bottle followed by food and let him eat until he appears full and doesn't show any more interest. Does he quit crying then, and how long does he stay content? Once you KNOW he is full, and he still cries then at least you have ruled out hunger and can then switch to figuring out if it is something else.

Have you tried Dr Karp's 5 S’s to calm ? http://www.happiestbaby.com/

It works wonders!

• Swaddling - Tight swaddling provides the continuous touching and support the fetus experienced while still in Mom's womb.
• Side/stomach position - You place your baby, while holding her, either on her left side to assist in digestion, or on her stomach to provide reassuring support. Once your baby is happily asleep, you can safely put her in her crib, on her back.
• Shushing Sounds - These sounds imitate the continual whooshing sound made by the blood flowing through arteries near the womb. This white noise can be in the form of a vacuum cleaner, a hair dryer, a fan and so on. The good news is that you can easily save the motors on your household appliances and get a white noise CD which can be played over and over again with no worries.
• Swinging - Newborns are used to the swinging motions that were present when they were still in Mom's womb. Every step mom took, every movement caused a swinging motion for your baby. After your baby is born, this calming motion, which was so comforting and familiar, is abruptly taken away. Your baby misses the motion and has a difficult time getting used to it not being there. "It's disorienting and unnatural," says Karp. Rocking, car rides, and other swinging movements all can help.
• Sucking - "Sucking has its effects deep within the nervous system," notes Karp, "and triggers the calming reflex and releases natural chemicals within the brain." This "S" can be accomplished with breast, bottle, pacifier or even a finger.

GREAT video clip with Dr Karp: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6KnVPUdEgQ

good luck!