Is It Seperation Aniexty?

Updated on February 17, 2007
J.I. asks from Cedar Springs, MI
6 answers

I have a 5 year old little boy in Kindergarten who has recentley started to cry when I leave him at school. This started when he went back to school after Christmas break. He never wants me to leave. I am still having issues. Nothing has changed as far as family and home life. The teacher says he is fine once I leave, but it is really hard for me when I have to leave him like that. I know it is what I have to do but is is still hard. Just wondering if anyone has some ideas of what I can do to make him feel better about going to school. Thanks!

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L.M.

answers from Benton Harbor on

Hello, I may not have the answer to why he is crying but let me tell you that you are NOT the only mother this happens to. I have 3 children 10, 8 and 4. All of which has had 4 years of Montessori schooling and what I found out early on is the seperation is hard. What they do in Montessori is they have you drop the child off at the door and someone ( a teacher) is there to greet them. That way the child does not try to control you and make you feel bad that you have to leave. My youngest did the samething, all of a sudden in the middle of the year she would cry and hang on me when I tried to leave. I would take her in and get her involved in a work or with a friend and then sneek out. It is usually a control thing with kids, their very smart creatures and they know how we as parents react to crying!!! Try telling him that you will stay for a while,(5 min ) and when he is settled then leave. I know this may not help much but it woked for me and always remember, he will be fine, it is always harder on us!!
Good Luck, L.

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L.T.

answers from Jackson on

With you being a sahm i'm it could be separation anxiety. Not too many kids want to go back to school after that break. also it is his first year in school and maybe he just needs to adjust a little. give him time. I remember going through that with my daughter when she was young. good luck and stay strong. you are doing what you need to do. It is just part of the growing up process. take care L.

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S.N.

answers from Saginaw on

Read the book The Kissing Hand to your son, and try the kissing hand for yourself, after. If you read it a few times, maybe it will help. The Kissing Hand is about a little racoon, nervous about starting school. His mother kisses his palm, and tells him that whenever he misses her, he'll have one of her kisses right there with him. Sweet story.

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K.G.

answers from Jackson on

J. I was a teacher before becoming a SAHM. I taught preschool. This is common after a long break. My advice is to set up a way to say goodbye. For example, Mom is going to give you two kisses and a hug and than I am going to leave. This will help with the transition. If he is apadt to run after you have a staff member at the school help. After you have said goodbye you must leave. Be consistent or it will not work. Also talk to him about what is going to happen that day at school and when you are going to pick him up or see him next. 5 year olds understand more than you think. If you are staying longer and prolonging the goodbye in the morning he realizes and he is just trying to get you to stay longer. I hope that this helps. Please let know if you have questions.
K.

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

I went through the exact same thing when my youngest was in kindergarten. It lasted about 3 weeks. What I would do was walk her in, her teacher or the principal or the school social worker would be watching for us and then they would distract her. Once she wasn't paying any attention to me, I would just leave quietly. She would scream and scream even though I would try to comfort her. Once they started helping me, everything was fine. Ask the staff at school for some help. The social worker would run up to Kenna, give her a hug and say "I just have to show you something in my room" or she would have a stuffed animal that she would let Kenna "watch" for the day.

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L.K.

answers from Detroit on

I think that kindergarten teachers are used to these kinds of issues. The teacher saying he is fine once you leave may be her way of saying that you should not prolong the process of leaving. If he is fine once you leave you should just...leave him at school.

I was worried about this type of situation when my son went to kindergarten (it happened in preschool) but I just started him off with riding the bus and have only dropped him off three times so far this year. It's difficult to do, but sometimes you have to just let them go, and be firm about it. You can do it. I think of it as the first experience in putting my foot down.

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