Is This "Baby Fever"?

It sounds to me like you're dealing with grief over losing contact with a niece that you obviously love, more than wanting a baby. I don't have any idea why your sister or sister-in-law cut off contact with you, but that can cause grief and a myriad of painful emotions.

And I don't think that unresolved grief is a good reason to start fostering a baby. After all, fostering is often a temporary situation, and that would mean that you'd just have a baby in your home for a very short time, potentially. Fostering is best done, in my opinion, when one's resources are at their best. And it seems like you're dealing with grief that is affecting your life. Right now, you're weepy and sad (rightfully so).

Maybe you could volunteer at a hospital - they often need volunteers to hold infants. Philadelphia has a large children's hospital as well as many other hospitals. Or you could volunteer in other ways in the babies' wards.

But I suggest that before you commit to foster parenting, you face the loss of contact with your niece boldly. Either get counseling to deal with it if it's a permanent loss, or make attempts to reconcile with her mother, or figure out how to get stronger (emotionally) before making such a huge commitment like foster parenting. It's never a good thing to make a huge decision about anything (buying or selling a house, moving, quitting or taking a job, getting pregnant, taking on any huge life event) when one is dealing with grief or loss.

If you are not prepared for possible special needs type cases you could foster for an organization like Catholic Charities. Your role would be caring for the baby for an interim period between birth and the court date for termination of parental rights. Then baby goes to the adoptive family. Heart wrenching to give up baby, but it is going to a healthy, happy situation.

The goal of fostering is always to reunite the child with the bio parents. CPS and children's services always work toward reunification as their goal. It's only in extreme cases where the child is adopted out instead of going home. Foster care is only used to home the child while the parents do what CPS tells them they have to do in order to get their children back. Most bio parents work hard to get their kids back.

You need to consider how that would affect you. Caring for and loving a child just to see them leave and go back to their parents. Not to mention all you have to do while the child is in your home. Take them to their visits with the bio parents. Take them to school and doctors appointments. Take them to therapy in some cases. Also these children are emotionally damaged. They have been removed from the only homes they have ever known. How will they interact with you and your own children? Lots to consider here. I think fostering is a noble thing to do. You just have to go into it with the right mindset. Don't go into it thinking you are getting a baby to keep and raise as your own. That's not how it works. Good luck!

I think there was something which happened to me when we had our son...it was like a whole new world of emotions opened up for me. I am kinder, more compassionate, more giving as the result of having a child.

If my husband were on board with it, I would be ready to foster in a nanosecond. I know people in the child welfare system, and something they speak about: How in the lives of many of these children no one has the time or the resources to really value them. And, how when they become a part of a family which values them...even if it isn't a permanent family..how years later, those kids reference that brief period in their lives where they were seen as valuable and incredible as kind of a totem they hold onto which changes their self-image and lifts their self-esteem.

I don't know if babyfever is a good reason to foster....I think having more love to give and the stamina to give it to a child who comes from difficult circumstances...makes it, at least, something worth exploring.

Probably hormonal.
You should find a mama with a colicky infant so you can babysit and let the mama rest for a few hours.
It's never been an issue for me.
The older I get, the more I can't stand other peoples kids.
I see them and it makes me SO HAPPY that they are NOT MINE!

I LOVE babies. Can't wait till I'm a grandma, which will be a while.

First of all, remember that babies don't stay babies for more than a few months. Kittens and puppies turn into cats and dogs.

I had a job working with foster kids for a few years. Foster kids are a LOT of work. There are zillions of meetings and other schedule demands that you don't have with your own children. I assume you would want to foster a baby, not an older child. If that's the case, consider that you will bond with a baby only to have it most likely return to its family one day. Not everyone can handle that. I personally couldn't do it.

When you are a foster parent, your biological children will have a lot of time and attention taken away from them, which can put strain on the family, in addition to the many other ways I won't go into in which foster children strain a family.

If after reading this, you still think you are up to the task of becoming a foster parent to a baby, for potentially very little money, then go for it. Good foster parents are much needed.

I am also at a point where, when I see babies, I point them out and think they are adorable. Do I want another baby of my own? No way. I've been thinking about getting my baby time by volunteering in the nursery at my church. I hope you find an outlet too there are plenty of babies that need some loving arms without having one of your own.

Yep. It's baby fever.

I get all gooey when I see babies and look at my husband and say "aawww...." however, it's impossible for us to have our own again....as all my parts are removed!! LOL...so he breathes a sigh of relief...knowing we don't have to "start all over again" - as our boys are 14 and 16 and pretty self-sufficient!!

You see babies and you remember the joy of seeing yours for the first time...ahhh the promises, the dreams...and you want to have it again...

Take some infant Tylenol...it'll get rid of baby fever. ;-)

Great suggestions below. Also, there is an organization called Safe Families for Children that you may look into. It was founded in Chicago in 2003 & has spread throughout the U.S. & into a few other countries. From their site, "Safe Families supports families during crises. We are motivated by compassion to keep children safe and out of foster care." There is a chapter somewhat close to Philadelphia. This is a biblically based organization. If you want more info you can find it at their website: http://safe-families.org/about/

Our family is in the process of becoming a host family so we are being vetted right now.