I find myself in a new boat. It has been just my son and me for three years so all I feel I know about is seven year old boys. I have been with a wonderful guy for almost two years and we are learning how to become a new family (we have his five year old son every other weekend). But, our daughter-in-law has recently been in the hospital and will be for a few more weeks. Her four children know me well but I've never spent much time watching them. Now I am becoming more of Grandma and I'm feeling anxious about not only watching four other children whom I love but also trying to remember what to do with young ones! Girls are 8, 5, and newly 3, and grandson is 5 months. I mainly need help with activities and also what 3 year old girls like to do, what I can do to help her during this stressful time. Also, how do you do things like bathe the baby while keeping an eye on the three year old? I just don't want to "lose it"! It's been very overwhelming. But, I know this is my new family and I love them, I'm just not sure how to fit into this new role of mother in law and grandma. Yes, I know my boyfriend and I aren't married but that doesn't seem too relevant these days considering the current situation with our daughter in law. Also, any ideas as to help them during this time would be appreciated. Her husband is doing his best to keep the four kids and also work two jobs. They attend Journey Church and I think plans are in the works to assist them. I know this has been an odd request. I'm just amazed at moms who have lots of kids ... I feel so frazzled! Thank you for letting me vent. Any responses will be appreciated. Thanks!
As a mother of four (13,9,7,4) all I can say is you just go with what you can do. Gate off as much of the house as you can and contain the younger two. That way you feel less out of control. Don't worry about messes, they can be cleaned up later (for me I was able to keep up with picking up when my youngest was about 3) Just enjoy your time with them, play with them, laugh with them. By the way, frazzled is a great word for it.
-M.
Hi,
I don't have nearly that many children to deal with, but I do have a newly 3 year old girl and a 6 month old boy. A few things that work for me... I let my daughter "help" me bathe the baby. She thinks it is great fun - I let her clean his feet. It keeps him safe because she is away from his head with the water and it keeps her occupied.
My daughter loves Dora the Explorer - so if you can get a video or put on the show, you might get a few minutes to get things done. Also she loves to color. I give her washable markers, stickers and lots of paper and she can be occupied for quite some time. She also loves to help with anything -so I have her clean up her toys or put away her shoes, etc. and she feels like she is helping.
Oh lastly - I fill up the sink, give her a few cups and put some bubbles in there. She can be occupied for 30 minutes playing with the water.
Good luck to you. It is great that you are helping so much.
Hi,
Well I have an almost 3 yr old girl and a 13 month old boy at home full time and an 8yr old stepson as well as a baby coming this July, so crazy life could be my middle name.
My daughter loves being a little me. I give her her baby and have her take care of it while I take care of my younger son. My 8yr old is expected to help the younger 2 pick up the toys before nap or bed and to help entertain them while I cook. It is part or his family responsiblities. GATES save my sanity most of the time. Make sure you give the older kids plenty of "time off" from the younger ones but despite the complaints, trust me they will enjoy the times they are forced to be silly "with" the Babies. ( I have overheard my son and his friends and he has even written about it at school) SAYING NO IS OKAY! with the 3year old she will get over you saying no especially if you give her an alternate activity.
Little Einstines and Backyardigans are my childrens favorite shows and they aren't too trying to hear over and over esp. einstines. I keep about 4 of each DVRed.
Sorry to be longwinded but above all remember it will be over all too quickly weather you are mom or grandma just think about your son. Where did the time go??? The best advice I ever recieved is no one will care if the house is messy from the kids but you will hate yourself if you miss out on the time you have with them.
A.
Hi
First of all I don't know you, but with your age and experience with raising one younger child, you are really putting a lot on yourself. The 8 yr. old should be in school during the day the 5 yr. old might be in pre-K & the 3 yr. old. The 5 month old. Wow you are really expecting a lot of yourself. Second, PLEASE don't put the impossible expectation of doing this perfectly or never losing control. You are stepping in with 4 kids who have a different set of disciplines than maybe you do.
Third, If you are watching them in your home, it's a strange place to them, even if they have been in your home many times. They are feeling as confused as you are right now.
Have you tried taking care of them in their home and not yours. They will have their toys, movies, etc. And the comfort of being home. Also saves you from the transporting items back and forth. Which add a great deal of fatigue.
Fourth, the 8 & 5 yr. old can be encouraged to help during a time the family needs to pull together. Even the 3 yr. old can do a few things with you.
The most important thing is your 7 yr. old didn't sign up for any of this. Keep an eye on him and make sure he is not overwhelmed by it all also. He can see what his mom is feeling and can become very concerned for you. He might even act out. Yes the situation can't be helped. But if your boyfriends kids & grandkids have friends ask them to help, if the mother has family call on them. Try not to put this on yourself to the point where it causes problems. This is also a time of the year that I'm sure in the last 3 yrs. your son and you had some very special talks and time for shopping. It's difficult for him also.
I know as a grandma of 3 under the age of 3 that came to us one at a time, how much strength it takes. Thinking about 4 of them being placed on me with a 7 yr. old of my own, is stressful in itself. So PLEASE be kind to yourself and do what you can without making the next few weeks miserable for you and your son, which in turn will make things miserable for these 4 little ones who miss mom already.
Hi J.!
Ok, I can't figure out who you are, but thought I'd share some advice:)! I bought the best book at Barnes and Noble called the Busy Book for Toddlers. They have them for all ages, but it's awesome! It has every kind of activity you can imagine, and they're really simple ideas. I have a 3-year old little boy, and I run out of ways to entertain (he's an only child, and I'm a single working mother who has "working mom guilt" and I feel like I need to entertain him:)). Anywho, this book is great. I hope everything works out for you! It takes a very strong person take on a whole new family, and do it graciously. Take Care!
