Jff--do You Tell Your Spouse Everything?

I don't tell him every time I take a pregnancy test. I don't feel he needs to "share in the scare" every time!

Hmmmmm...I rarely tell my husband that it was me, not the teenage boys, who ate the oreos/chips ahoy/doritos/payday.....

My husband could care less what I spend money on so long as I don't dip into savings. He thinks I spend too much on the kids but he doesn't stop me or make me feel bad. I don't have friends that he doesn't like so I can't really answer that.

This may sound wonderful but in practice we lack that nag effect savings. He bought around $500 in brewing equipment last week. Ya know, something a normal wife would question, I can't wait for more beer. Tools we both love, the new computer I am typing on..... We both love the same things so we never stop each other, thankfully we make good money. :p

My husband and I are best friends. In regards to purchases, I don't need to get "permission" for the little things and neither does he. I think that's silly and condescending. We discuss the larger purchases, etc. We have mutual friends, a couple. The wife nit picks her husbands every little teeny tiny purchase. He makes a purchase and she immediately calls him ("Why did you just spend $15 at Costco??") I wish I were exaggerating, but I'm not. She must have an alert set up on her phone from her bank. And they both work and bring in good money. It's become a running joke in our house (just between my husband and I).

As for being friends w/ people that my husband doesn't like ... he likes all of my friends so I can't really comment on that. And he encourages me to get together w/ them.

Added: we do share quite a bit w/ each other, though. As in, I know a lot of nitty gritty guy stuff in regards to his friends. They would die if I knew. I have noticed that most of the couples that we are friends with do NOT share in this way.

I pretty much tell mine everything, I leave out stuff that would bore him or freak him out tho. Like I dont tell him when one of our couple friends wife is complaining about her husband and I dont tell him when there is only 100 bucks left in the bank and payday isnt for 5 more days.... I dont like to worry him about stuff that I can worry about on my own and that will fix itself in time.

nope, I tell my best friend everything.

It saves our marriage.

But I do tell him the important things....

Yep. We tell each other everything. I think we have one of the more successful marriages in our circle of friends and family for this reason.

To answer your specific questions:
I handle the finances and have no problem "confessing" I overspent something for anyone in our house, including me. And when I do he usually says, "well, you needed it" or "you deserve it."
I can't think of anyone I run around with that he doesn't like, but I would tell him....out of respect and safety.

I don't tell him everything. If he asks, I answer truthfully.

My husband doesn't want to know every detail. He just wants to know the bottom line. He has a "small" filter and when I drone on and on he says "buffer overload" or gets the deer in the headlights look...

I have friends that my husband doesn't like. He doesn't control me nor do I control him. I will go out with friends that he doesn't like - however, I will NOT force him to mingle with someone he doesn't like...I'm VERY fortunate...there's but one person that my husband doesn't like...all others? we're good!!

I pick my battles.
But I am always honest with my Husband.

Yes I tell my husband everything. Even if he doesn't like it LOL

No, that's what girl friends are for :)

I tell everything to my husband .Even the silliest of things.I just like to share everything with him.He is my best friend.
No I have never had any circumstance where I had to hide anything from him or go out with someone he doesn't like. But there are some everyday things that my husband asks M. not to do (for ex : buy stuff thinking I will return because I never return anything on time ) but I still do these and he knows I do it.
Also I tell him everything that I read here that interests M.. Silly, I know but many times these days I start conversation with - you know I read this on mamapedia .... some times he is interested, most of the time I guess he is not, but he still listens.

I don't tell him everything, and I don't expect him to tell me everything.

No, I do not tell my spouse everything. When it comes to private things about my friends or things others have confided in me, I don't. He's not a blabber mouth by any means, but he doesn't need to know other people's business. I don't buy things for our kids or myself that he may have an issue with-- that's just disrespectful; it may also be an indication of a deeper issue, such as shopping addiction. I would not go out with someone my hubby doesn't like because he's a sound judge of character and while I feel that I am too, if someone had that affect on him then I'd put my man first.

There are some things I don't even tell folks on a forum! :)

I don't tell him every little detail but if it's something that I think he would want to know then I don't "hide" it from him. Whatever I buy is ok - he's the one with THAT problem, overspending etc. I would NOT go out with a friend that he does not like without telling him - that's like sneaking around.

I don't tell him everything.. He'd probably prefer me NOT telling him everything that I buy, lol... He's laid back either way..
No, I wouldn't hang out with a friend he didn't like. More than likely, if he didn't like them, neither would I...

Nope. Love him, but he's kind of close minded, so I pick my battles. I don't lie to him, I just don't talk about certain things around him. For instance, my daughter that is 19 and not living at home is in a relationship with a 30 year old. I conveniently left out the age of the guy and am secretly hoping it just fizzles before he needs to find out. (She's not his daughter, she's mine from a previous marriage, and they have always butted heads)

Yes, I tell mine everything.

Yes.. there should not be any need for dishonesty in a healthy relationship. Withholding little truths is a form of lying. Obviously, it's not necessary to give a replay of every single thing you do all day long, but if you purposefully withhold something b/c you know he wouldn't approve, then no, that's just wrong, and it would probably piss you off if he did it to you

As far as buying things--I pretty much buy all of us what we need/want (within reason, of course!).

If my husband doesn't like a friend, of course I would still get together with my friend.

I'm lucky, my husband always tells me to get myself stuff, because I tend to buy for our son and him more than for myself....

Our money is our money and he knows I spend it wisely, so that stuff isn't an issue.

Now as far as what I tell my husband--I tell him anything that affects him or his life or his job, etc. The thing is, I think there a lot of incidentals that he doesn't *need* to know and probably doesn't *want* to know either.
I think many wives spend WAY to much time in the idle small talk that men have no interest in anyway. I get that support from my mom, SIL's, friends, etc.

We don't have time to tell each other everything.

Regarding purchases: anything over $500, yes, we must have prior approval from one another.

Regarding pre-marital relationships....I'd rather not know about his and vice versa.

Throwing away worn out, favorite old clothes of his....Oops, I forgot to mention that....if he ever notices.

I used to tell my husband EVERYTHING when we were dating and the first couple years or so of our married...we've only been married 3.5 years and I feel like he just doesn't really care about the minute by minute stuff anymore. We are growing into two separate people

I tell him everything that applies to him and I and our son. He doesn't really need to know that my friends cousin had breakfast with my other friend downtown the other day, and they said the bagels were fabulous..etc. I would also answer yes to your questions in your post. My husband respects my opinions and decisions. Regardless of what he might think is right or wrong. Although sometimes, I have to admit , he is right..:)

I do and I hope he does too!!

I'm pretty open about everything. My husband is pretty easy going and is very understanding if I overspend our budget a bit as long as he has a little spending money too. He gets cranky if he feels I am helping someone who he feels doesn't deserve it so sometimes I leave those details out of conversation or I start the conversation with, "I know you don't like that I helped 'Jane' but I felt I should do X and Y for her."

i tell my husband EVERYTHING (and EVERYTHING that has to do with shopping) i tell him the real pruce (minus 50 per cent :)
but otherwise yeah i tell him everything. he is my little girl friend in a man's body.

I tell my husband EVERYTHING
He is my other half, my partner and best friend in life and I couldnt imagine not sharing everything with him - good or bad
Ive had ppl say dont tell anyone this and I always warn them that I tell my husband everything and leave it up to them to share or not but I keep nothing from him

I do only if he asks about certain things. He was ALWAYS curious of my "night" life before I met him. I didnt tell him at all other than I had some relationships. No numbers, No details. I was married previous and I told him all about that of course. If it has to do with finance he is great about letting me do what I want. I am the prude, but not when it come to kids clothes. For some reason I go a little overboard there. He sometimes gets a little peeved but then I mention we have some extra in the entertainment account, how bout you go to Best Buy... then all is forgiven and he doesnt really say anything. He trusts me pretty much completely.

I tell my husband everything. There's no reason to hide anything. We're in life together.

I am in charge of the money, so it's more likely that it would be HIM coming to ME for permission to buy anything. He doesn't judge what I need and what I don't need, but if I am unsure about a purchase, I'll ask his opinion.
We tell each other everything, there are no secrets between us. I even tell my friends, before they tell me something in confidence, that I will probably mention it to him, because that's the kind of relationship we have chosen to have.

Some things are definitely better left unsaid! So, I'll leave it at that :)

My husband would never tell me I don't need something or care what I spent on the kids. I am however pretty responsible and would not over spend. Re: friend's... My husband likes all of them and he knows I am a better person after a GNO:).

LOL. No. Why? Because he would go nuts and his head would spin at the shear volume of words that would flow forth, lol.
Do I keep "secrets" though? No. Do I mention every candy bar that I picked up in the grocery line? No. If I buy myself something more tangible (a sweater, a book, a pair of shoes, whatever) then yes I tell him. Usually I show it to him and say "look what I found, got a deal on it, too"... and he is happy. I don't buy for myself very often.
Would I go out with a friend my husband doesn't like? Hmmm... that would be person specific. I don't really have friends my husband doesn't like. I do have friends from way back that he really doesn't know (because I never see them, or on the rare occasion that I do he is working and misses out--for ex: I have an old dear friend that lives 5 hours from me. I lost touch with her for years, then found her on FB via my brother-- when I was in her town we met for lunch, when she has been in my town, we met at the beach with the kids, but my husband was at work). Now, he would probably be interested in meeting her, but I see her so rarely, and most of our contact is messaging/FB stuff, so I don't know whether he likes her or not.
I also have friends (ladies) that he would rather NOT be part of the going out, b/c he'd have NO interest in our discussions.
Sorry if this doesn't help, but to me, it really depends upon the individual circumstances... if my husband didn't like my friend for some tangible reason that called her character into question or something, then I probably would not go. It just all depends. What would be the occasion for going out? To party? To have a heart-to-heart about something? Those things matter to be able to answer the question.

Well, my husband doesn't care to know everything I purchase, though I don't mind telling him. I put it on the credit card anyway to get the miles. (Yes, I pay it off every month.) He sees the bill.

My husband is my best friend, so yes, I tell him everything. I don't think that there is anyone I'd go out with that he already doesn't like. Does that help?

Dawn

when i was married i told my ex everything,
With my bf I tell him everything, except to admitting that I fart lol
Thats J. how I am though, I tell all of my friend and family mostly everything. If somethings on my mind I J. blurt it out even if you're not my friend yet and we start talking. Obviously I keep certain things confidential, bt I'd tell whoever I was serious with anything at all (maybe leave out boring details)

Maybe not everything, but most things. $ spent on hair and clothes- I usually make them much cheaper than the truth. But other/everything else I do- mostly because I am a SAHM and don't have too many people to talk to so I unload it all on him! lol

I don't know if I tell him everything, well actually not true, I don't tell him everything! While he is my best friend, he isn't my best GIRL friend ;) I would wear him out with all that info!!! :D I don't really get things I am not supposed to bc, I can get what I want within our budget and if I went beyond that, he would see it in the bank account. Now if I am watching my weight and I go off track...I don't tell!!! Sometimes he does catch me ;) But I figure, my weight, my issue ;) I bust him sometimes too if he doesn't throw away his candy wrappers etc ;) But we laugh about it. Now I wouldn't go out with a friend my husband wasn't comfortable with and he wouldn't either, for us that would be crossing the line, we made a decision to always be in agreement about those kind of things. But I think it is perfectly ok to have things your spouse doesn't know, but personally anything my husband asked about I would tell him the truth bc just bc he doesn't know, doesn't mean he can't know. In that respect I feel I don't actually keep secrets. Hope that made sense!!

Money is never an issue to discuss in our house. We budget and get things that we want. We have one daughter, getting her things is never an issue.
My husband just came home and told me on his way home he saw my gf, who happens to be our neighbor, driving home. He tells me she caught him checking out some chick walking down the street.

So yeah...my HUSBAND tells me EVERYTHING!!! LOL
And pretty much vice versa ;P

I'm with Sue H.

I tell my best friend everything and my hubs a need to know basis. I do tell him almost everything...probably more than I should. I can't keep a secret. Except for when I buy new shoes. I am on a NO SHOES rule...but I break that rule constantly. (except I hate this wedge thing out and can't find any I like right now)

I am "honest" with my husband, I don't know that I tell him "everything". Like does he care what some of my friends are doing? No, so I don't tell him unless its something I think he should know or be interested in. I do tell him about my purchases, I don't sneak and buy anything and neither does he. And I would never go out with a friend if hubby didn't like them. I don't want any kind of trust issues between us, or lack of trust I should say. Once you start hiding info or withholding info from your husband then I think that is just asking for trouble.

My husband doesn't know about 70% of things I buy for myself or the kids. I'm not hiding it. I put things away or whatever after I get home.... We have the same account, so he can look and see my $80 target debit, or my Bath&body works splurge, I just don't think he really cares.

There isn't anyone that I hang out with that he doesn't know about. He likes my friends.

I'm widowed. But after 25 plus years, I'd gotten to the p;oint of thinki ng about myself. I didn't ask my other half about buying something for the kids. It was generally left up to me, period. He'd get credit, since he paid the bills. But if he wasn't going to get involved, then I figured he had no say.

As far as stuff for myself, I'm something of a doll collector. If I don't have much of a life, I'm going to indulge myself however I see fit. I knew what made me happy. So I went with it.

Friends he didn't like? Well he didn't express it much because I didn't have a lot of them for him to like or dislike. But I do have a cousin that spoke very bluntly to him and who I later stayed with for a month. I get the feeling he didn't appreciate her a lot, but he didn't object to my staying with her. I would've anyway.

I don't think there should be that much control over a person like you're asking about. I didn't like a lot of my hubby's friends either. And I did let him know. But if I'm doing my fair share, I think I ought to have enough grey matter to decide for myself.

I'm evasive about some purchases, especially from ebay. :P

I told him about 2 guys on facebook who wanted to "meet me for lunch" -- they were former bfs. He sez "oh, they just wanted to be friends." What?! He's so trusting... [no way was I gonna meet them...]

No i don't tell my spouse everything. I don't tell him everything we discuss here on mamapedia because some things are left better being unsaid. What goes on with me and my sister, friend, mom, etc. is our business.

Hell no, some things are better left unsaid, would I want to know everything??? No.

My spouse wouldn't tell me not to buy things. I manage my salary how I see fit and meet the bills and expenses that I'm required to. I don't need to ask permission to buy things and I don't need to announce every time I make a purchase. I do not hide things but neither of us is required to divulge every dollar we spend.
I also don't need to tell him every detail of my day. We don't have time for that. I don't always tell him when I have a doctors appointment or have lunch with a friend at work, not because I am hiding information but because we are busy with other things and announcing these items is just not the first priority. Yes, I would go out with a friend my husband didn't care for. It's my friend, not his, and he'd be glad that I was out with them instead of bringing them to the house. I wouldn't hide that I was out with the friend. Are you very young? I'm 44 and I've been married 21 years, I'm way past the point in life of sneaking around, playing games, etc

Hmmm....My husband would not care if I bought the kids the Neverland Ranch...whatever I buy for them he is okay with.
He would LOVE IT if I spent money on myself since I never do.
I rarely go out with friends, but one of my best girl friends is someone my husband is not too fond of but she's MY friends, not his, so he doesn't care.
I tell my husband everything. Not because I have to, but because I don't see any reason not to.
L.

I tell my husband everything---sometimes knowing that it may not be the easiest route to travel. We have no secrets and we like it that way :-) We know we can trust eachother because we talk about things even when they are not comfortable.
J.