Keepin Son at Daycare to Clean House? and Bday Party Ideas 2Yr Old

Im a single mom with a full time job and a part time job and a two year old. Sometimes I come home just to do the dishes and then I go get her from day care. Friday I took the day off to work and clean and I took her to daycare. I do feel guilty. But when my house is clean I feel better and she is in good hands.

I used to feel bad. I am off every other Friday and if my 4 year old wants to stay with me he can, but he if wants to go to his sitter's house I'll take him. He flip flops. That is my grocery shopping morning - so if he wants to grocery shop he will. If he wants to play, color, sing, dance, etc, he picks daycare.

Don't feel bad.

I have done this before. The reality is, you just can't clean/organize/etc. with a 2-year-old running around undoing everything! Plus, you'd be at work anyway, so there's nothing to feel guilty about -- you should feel good because you will have more time to play on the weekend!

Home parties are really good for toddlers. They are in their element. Out of the house, they can get overwhelmed by all the people and activity -- it's nice to keep some element of stability to a 2-year-old's party. They will have more fun if they are comfortable.

Good luck!

Um.... SAHPs use daycare, too! Both for their kids' benefit and their own. You're paying for daycare... there is no stipulation as to what you do DURING those hours.

A.: You read my mind! My daycare is four houses down from me and I wonder if she (daycare provider) would see me drive by the house and then ultimately judge me. So, here are my thoughts on leaving them at daycare: 1) you won't be hurting your child's feelings by scolding him when you have to say, "stay out of the bleach!"; and 2) It frees up your chores times on the weekends when you can spend time as a family. We have finally become ok with it as we too are FT Working parents. When I can knock stuff out during the week, I am less stressed and able to really be the present Mom I want for our child.

I will be keeping an eye open for responses on the b-day as our little one turns 2 in May! good luck with both!

No, you shouldn't feel guilty. But also, is getting a cleaning service in once a month out of the question? That way you wouldn't have to waste your vacation time on cleaning.

I agree with Live Bold, as I also run an in-home daycare. Its perfectly fine to do this from time to time but please be respectful of the provider also. It always bothers me when parents take the day off to go shopping or go to the spa but still drop off and pick up their child at regular times. If you take time off, don't you think your provider would like some time off too? Just keep that in mine. Again, its absolutely ok to do it occasionally though. :-)

Yes, cleaning while he is in daycare will give you more time to enjoy the weekend with him! Cleaning is not quality time with him!
for the party just have a cute cake and take lots of pictures! The pictures/video will be his memories.

Parents used to do this all the time swapping childcare with each other. I wouldn't feel guilty for leaving him in good care to get things done.

At two, I wouldn't spend a fortune on the birthday party. I'd keep it simple, maybe a few daycare friends at your house.

If you leave work at noon to clean the house it will be your sons nap time mostly likely, so you wouldn't be spending time with him anyways. Also, by cleaning your house while your son naps at daycare will give you more time over the weekend to spend with your family. Don't feel guilty. You are trying to manage everything and from the sounds of it you have a great plan that will work for you and your family.

I wouldn't feel bad about the daycare/ cleaning solution.

We use a cleaner but I was recently thinking it would probably be cheaper to pay someone else for childcare, and deep clean myself.

While you are at it, you might want to consider budgeting an extra hour or so, to put away all the cleaning stuff, to have a cup of coffee and put your feet up before your 2 year old needs your attention.

Take your B-Day cues from him. It can be as easy as the petting zoo, the fire house, or the playground. Outdoors in March can be tricky, so maybe your house again, for the time being.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

Speaking as a daycare provider, I don't have a problem with this at all. However, I have a few small requests for parents that do this.

1) Let me know so that if something comes up I am not calling work.
2) Don't lay down and take a nap and show up an hour late when you aren't even working.
3) Go ahead and pick your child up 20 minutes early. The provider will feel good that you didn't disrespect her. So many parents will keep their children in daycare until the last possible second, showing up at EXACTLY the same time everyday, being the last child on that shift to leave all the time, and all the while, running tons of errands outside of work. While it's true that you have paid for the spot, your provider is struggling to keep her home clean too and she doesn't get the time you are talking about. So giving her 1 less body in the house for 20 minutes or so, rather than showing up late or timing things perfectly so that you are "using the time you paid for", shows her that you care about her too.

There are actually a lot of daycare providers in the world that have written rules against this sort of thing. I think they are crazy. My only real complaint is that so many parents that do this on a regular basis, get tired and take a nap. I've even had people come in 2-3 hours late with barely an apology and no over time money or even some small thing like a coffee, monstor, or something you know she likes.

I wouldn't bat an eye at it.... I have done that and I know lots of parents (friends) that do that too! What you can get done in a couple of hours alone is so much more than with your child.

Yes, I would completely support that. I get out of work early sometimes to do the grocery shopping, run errand etc... because these things are impossible to do with a toddler. You can also accomplish much more if you just tackle the task alone, and probably pick your son us early too.

And - Um, if your child is in daycare, then what is it the daycare provider's business how you spend that time as long as she is paid?? The provider is paid to watch your child, fair and square. Leave your cell phone number for emergencies...

I use to watch some kids for 3 hours once a week so that way thier parents could clean. That was the only time I watched them.

Don't feel guilty. He is already there, he is use to it. Take the time to yourself and get some things done that you need done. After a few times you will be glad your doing it!

Don't worry about the b-day - do what works for you. Kids don't really care about b-days till they're 4 or 5 years old.

Re the cleaning - heck yes. Go for it. I've done it several times. The first time it feels wierd, after that it's like a mini-vacation. Ditch the guilt and enjoy!

absolutely leave him in daycare to clean the house! I think it's VERY important to take some time for yourself once in awhile, whether it's to relax, shop, pamper yourself, run errands or clean the house. I would not feel guilty AT ALL. : )

A great party at this age is in the backyard or at the park. The kids are so happy just to run around and play. They don't need anything special and they won't remember it anyway, so don't break the bank (trust me, there will be plenty of time for that later). Home or park is all you need.

K.
http://www.discoverytoyslink.com/karenchao - need a great birthday gift? Check out my toys and our huge January sale!

Well your son is a bit young to answer, but I have actually been asking my DD for a while if she would rather come cleaning or shopping (she hates shopping) with me or stay at school a little longer. She hands down picks school almost every time. It's much more fun for them to play with their friends and be taken care of than to have to play by themselves while you are busy cleaning.
Don't feel bad... and you will see, you may even pick him up early because you get things done a lot faster.

I wouldn't worry too much over this. You will get so much more accomplished and he will probably have more fun at daycare with his friends anyways.

For a 2 year old, a home party would be perfect at that age.

He'd be napping any way!! Probably wouldn't be able to nap as well at home with the vacum going etc.

I've done it. I felt guilty, but I felt it was far worse to have to ignore my daughter while I cleaned. She would be asleep in the afternoon for a while anyway. You'll enjoy your son more if you aren't frantically worrying about housekeeping.

For my daughters, these were their at home party themes under age 3 -

penguins/igloos/snow
old macdonald had a party/farm/barn
medieval faire
monkey/jungle
choo-choo

I see nothing wrong with taking an occasional half day with your son in daycare to do anything you want. When my kids were tiny, I'd take a day off, a vacation or personal day, about once every three months. Kid/kids would go to daycare and I'd have a day to myself to do whatever I wanted. It's really fine to use a sitter once in a while for something other than work. This is time that you are normally away from your son anyhow.
At two, a house party with family and a couple of little friends is really still appropriate. Don't go overboard and overwhelm him.

I've done that, and I don't feel an ounce of guilt about it. DD doesn't go to child care after preschool all the time, but sometimes it really comes in handy when I need to get a lot of things done. And the thing is, she has way more fun there then she would at home, with me trying to get work done and not paying as much attention to her. And I get a lot more done because she isn't in my face every 2 minutes. I guess maybe because she is home with me more, and her being there is more of a break for the both of us. She loves going, so it is a win-win for us. So if it's a once-in-a-while thing so you can get on top of stuff, don't worry about it.

As for a b-day party for him turning 2, I would probably still just have it at your house - I think there's a need to do anything that big or elaborate. Another thought would be some kind of indoor play area if you are planning to have other small kids there. We did that for DD's 4th b-day and invited a bunch of her preschool friends and classmates and they had a blast. And I didn't have to worry about setting up or cleaning up after!

Do it!!! Once every 2 months or so I try to sneak in a day off work where I still take the kids to daycare so I can have a me day. I'm sorry but I need it. I generally take the kids in about the same time to keep them on the same schedule but sometimes will pick them up early that day if I finish everything I need to do. I have to pay the same price for 4 days of daycare as 5, if I have to keep the kids home sick it's the same price, if they are closed for a holiday it's the full price, so I think I deserve to take a day off sometimes without feeling guilty. It doesn't happen often but if I get the chance I try my best to enjoy it.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with you leaving your child at daycare so you can clean the house. He's going to be there anyway if you work but instead of working at your paycheck job you're working at your thankless job. I took my triplets once a week to the local daycare for 2-3 hours when they were toddlers just so I could clean the house and do laundry. things get done a lot faster when you're alone and able to just do what you need to do. You go for it!

Home is still a good idea for a 2nd birthday. Come up with a cute theme and do a pull string pinata.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I would not feel bad at all! You are doing something for your family!

This is something my daycare provider would actually encourage me to do. I am a teacher so have several vacation days throughout the year. I am paying for full-time daycare whether I'm at work or not. During winter break my son sitll went to daycare (not everyday) even though I was off. My daycare wants him to keep going even though I'm off becuase she likes the kids to stay used to the routine she has for them and my son likes going because his friends are there and he likes routine. I am at home with my 6 month old during this time and running errands that need to be done. I think this is a perfect way for you to get things done. I still have a hard time taking him because I'd rather spend time with him, but I know he's happier at daycare than he would be grocery shopping with me or watching me fold clothes.

Moms who use programs such as Mothers Day Out routinely take the kids to the church and then go home and clean. It is just one of those things that moms do.

Let me put it this way, I am a SAHM, I have an active 3 year old.
We just move and there is a serious dusting problem in here. I have to dust the high ceiling fans, dust above the doors and high cabinets, and other things that involve the need of the leader.
I keep waiting for my daughter to go sleep so I can use the leader because I know if I do it while she is awake she is going to want to go up or walk under, or move it, etc.
Of course by night last thing I want to do is to dust all over.
She starts school in 2 weeks, I am looking forward, but you don't need to wait.
Other way, either you keep sending him to another room (just to find out that while you cleaned a room he destroyed the next one, lol) or wait until the night, and you clean on your tipitoes, blahh.

did you think something bad might happen to him at daycare while your cleaning toilets? you need to plan some "me" time into your schedule and do it now while he is little. get a bowling night or a book club or something that you do every week or month that is for you without your little one. and not just cleaning. Being a good parent doesnt mean you spend every waking minute slaving at their feet or cooing at their activities. speaking from 30 years experience here of 4 well adjusted kids. go do your cleaning. you will feel a lot better for it.

Uhm, no, you should not feel bad at all.

Also, I don't think your childcare provider would be offended at all. On the contrary, I have only known childcare providers to be offended when you change your childs schedule without notice, not bringing him or taking him home early means they lose money without enough notice to make that spot available for another child.

If it is important enough to you that you take a few hours off of work each month to dedicate to your home, by all means DO IT! This way you are not stressed about cramming it into your schedule and you won't feel bad for doing it while you could be at the park with your little one

I'm a single mom. One weekend a month a Grandma and Grandpa's AND one or 2 days off during the month where he went to the sitters anyway when I happened to have a day off during the week were the ONLY way I survived Toddler hood!

No way ... do NOT feel guilty!!! Happy Momma = happy children!!!! (I'm personally a happier momma/wife when my house is clean and organized! Gives me more time to enjoy my family!)

I actually feel better about leaving my son at daycare so I can take some time to clean or shop before the weekend. It takes so much less time when the kids aren't around and I can get so much more done. If they are home I always feel like they are under me while I am trying to clean so I can never get stuff done and then I am trying to play catch up on the weekend or I am cleaning while the kids are eating dinner and I should be eating with them. My kids actually prefer to stay longer at their afterschool program or daycare so they can have play time.