Overwhelmed - Feeling like I Need a Weekend Alone

I do one room each day and keep it clean the rest of the week. Usually that starts with the least active room( dining room), and then bedrooms, then t.v.room..Dishes are done in the morning every day. Laundry is done on two days each week.

It does sound like you need a breather, so take one. I always try to get out of the house everyday. Even if it is for an hour. Walking, or taking a drive, going to the library. It helps to just clear your mind a bit.

When I'm behind at work or home (sometimes both), I make a list of EVERYTHING that needs to get done. Then I sort that list into 4 categories:
- TODAY
- THIS WEEK
- THIS MONTH
- WHEN I HAVE TIME

When you look at the "lists", the TODAY list should be pretty short and limited to things that are time sensitive. The THIS WEEK list could be longer, but should also include mainly time sensitive items. The other two lists get chipped-away and added-to as needed. I use a white board so I can literally "erase and move" as needed.

Just a thought... if you can swing it financially hire a cleaning service to come and do a one-time "deep clean" so that you can start "maintatining" rather than trying to catch-up. Even better... once a month! We have a housekeeper and I would live off of rice and beans before giving her up. She IS my sanity.

My girlfriend is hands-down the BEST SAHM I know. I have stolen many of her strategies over the years! She views it as her job and schedules her household chores, cooking and errands accordingly. It is literally on a calendar on the fridge.... Mondays she does the bathrooms and kitchen thoroughly, Tuesdays, mops the floors, Wednesday is furniture and fabrics, etc. Laundry is done every day, no matter what. Her boys put their laundry away. Your K-aged son can do so as well. My 3.5 puts his basket of clothing away and likes "helping"!

Meals are pre-planned and shopped for on the weekends (no mid-week runs to the store). I have taken this idea from her and it has helped enormously! I bought a 5-day magnetic white board and it's on the fridge with each lunch and dinner "menu" posted. I write my shopping list accordingly and we aren't doing the midweek "scramble" to the store anymore. BONUS: If my husband gets home from work before I do, he can start dinner because he knows what it is!

I am an introvert too so even reading your post is stressing me out for you.

POSSIBLE SOLUTIONS
1. Get dad to take the kids out of the house for at least 3 hours.

2. Relax the first hour. Don't do anything but center yourself and enjoy the peace and quiet. Determine what is priority and only give yourself 3 things to do and do them to completion. One at a time. This way you can feel successful.

3. Clean the bathroom after you use it. It really doesn't take long to wipe things done and scrub things up a bit. I clean the tub and shower after I use it. I clean the sink after I use it. I clean the toilet after I use it. Keep a broom and a swiffer mop close by and the floors can be done relatively quickly.

4. (Used to have a family with six small children) Two 1/2 loads of laundry got done every day for six days. Before bed I would put a load in the washer. Upon waking up I would move that load to the dryer and put another load in the washer. After shower I would take the load out of the dryer, give it a good shake and lay out as flat as possible and put another load in the washer. It got to the place where it was just rythmically doing the laundry.

5. When tax documents come it I put thing in a file folder together so that by the time the last document comes in I have everything in one place and don't have to search for anything.

6. When you clean your house open all the windows, your home definitely needs some airing out because of all the sickness that has been there. It makes the home smell fresh and cleaner with fresh air and it helps the sick heal faster. My grandmother taught me this she was a housekeeper when she moved to the north. She was fought over for years and when she retired all of her women begged her to continue to work because they loved the job she did. She really knew her stuff. It was a gift. I don't have that gift but I did learn alot from her.

If push comes to shove, get help. No matter what the cost it would be well worth in it in getting your time back and your peace of mind too. Drop off the laundry and have someone else do it when it becomes overwhelming. Actually it really helped in my house to keep the kids and adult wardrobe to 14 tops and 14 bottoms or 2 weeks worth of mix and match clothes. This way you just know it is time to wash when you run out of things and it doesn't get too overwhelming because there isn't alot of clothes. When I had the 6 it was a 7 day wardrobe of mix and match clothes. This is why laundry got done every day.

welcome to my world! Just last night, my DH asked if I had the taxes ready. He is soooo lucky that I kept my hands/words to myself!

I also have a daycare. I spend my evenings prepping for the next day.... doing quickie, basic cleaning & running errands. With a socially & academically active 15yo, I do not have a social life thru the week. This is normal for most families. Oh, well. :)

When my DH asked his question last night, it was 9:15pm. My daycare shutdown at 5:30. I picked up our 15yo from school, & drove to our closest big town to do the groc shopping & other errands. We rolled into the house at 8:30 to find dog puke in the front hall & muddy pawprints thruout the kitchen. My DH who works 12 1/2hr days was in his recliner. He was totally oblivious to the dog mess, & actually said, "oh, they must have done that before you left". OMG! Really you walked past the dog puke each time you used the bathroom....& you never noticed it? (insert eye roll here, please) :)

The best part was when my 15yo went to the bathroom, grabbed the Dow Scrubbing Bubbles, & tossed the can onto his Dad's lap! & in all fairness, my DH is emotionally & physically exhausted after his long days at work. I know that he was happy! to be home alone, sitting in his chair. He probably didn't hear the dog puking!

Sooo, how do I get it all done? I delegate. From the time my sons could help as toddlers, I shared the load. I don't care if the towels are a semi-crumbled mess. If they're folded enough to fit into the cabinet....that's all that matters to me! By applying this method to the rest of the house, the jobs get done....we're working together as a team.....& I'm not feeling so insane. It also means that I have to accept a lower standard as my benchmark! & that's okay.....

Laundry: everybody is responsible for putting it in the "pile". If they use the last of something, then they need to start a load or tell me.

Dishes: everybody is responsible for their own. Even my daycare kids know they have to set the dishes in the sink & throw away their trash. It amazes adults to see an 18month old carrying the plate/bowl/etc. :)

Surface cleaning: I do this each night before bedtime. Takes about 15 minutes to run thru the house. Dishwasher, hand dishes, vacuum, etc. It moves this quickly, because I keep up with it thru the day.

Real cleaning: wkends only....& I share the responsibility. The men in the house use one bathroom, & they share cleaning it. I clean the main bathroom. We then all move into one room & split the duties. It is amazing how quickly this goes!
**now for the problem: we frequently travel on the wkends or have overnight guests. We also spend a lot of wkends with our 15yo son's activities. The cleaning gets dropped from the schedule, & we end up with a pileup which overwhelms all of us. We have missed the past 2 wkends now, & boy, does it show! This is a school dance wkend, so the men in the house are being held captive until the cleaning is finished!

Paperwork: I use naptime for paperwork, correspondence, & ME time. I am blessed with good sleepers, & I truly appreciate it! Even if I tackle only one project, I am happy....

Think about your schedule & how you do things. Find ways to create shortcuts, to lessen your expectations. Once we catch up on the cleaning this wkend, I plan on doing tax work. & the men have to cook! One more great element in the art of delegating....hope this helps. :)

I'm sorry to see that you hadn't gotten any responses to this. I was feeling just like this last weekend and was desperately needing some help. I too was thinking that I just needed a weekend alone to recharge and had actually talked to my hubby about getting a hotel room for the weekend so that I could do nothing, read a book and watch movies or just play on the computer all day. Whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and to not have anyone counting on me to do anything. Ahhhh, that dream still sounds awesome. :)

Anyway, my hubby let me sleep in all weekend and let me stay in bed as long as I needed. On Saturday, I stayed in bed until about noon and finally made it downtstairs about 1pm and then he took off with the kids for a couple of hours. That night, we had a babysitter and so I literally only saw them for a couple of hours...which for my level of stress, was just about perfect. :)

On Sunday, I slept in until about 11 and got to have a Jammie Day. I was so energized that I caught up on laundry and wiping down of surfaces and generally cleaning/ decluttering. I accomplished a lot that day because I was so refreshed. You might consider that for this weekend?

Another important thing that I have learned (tough lesson). You have young kids. Try not to be a perfectionist now. You will have a lot more time when they are both in school to have everything where and when you want it. Give your time to them and don't care what someone else says, does, and thinks. Remember, you love your family more than life itself? Love them more than you care about getting the house in order. You will just drive yourself and everyone around you crazy trying to do it all. :)

Hope this helps!
N.

oh my gosh! no clue how you are going to manage this, but i so hope you get your weekend alone! i'm like you, i need to solitude to recharge. and you have so much on your plate.
i hope your husband is able to find a fun thing to do with the kids for a weekend (grandma's house? amusement park?) and let you bustle about by yourself for a day or two.
khairete
S.

Cut back on the things you are obilgated to do. Ask for outside help. Like a cleaning person a teenager who can assist with watching the kids. Plan for your kids to spend the afternoon with a friend without you. Maybe one of the parents whom you watch can watch your little ones for 3 hours and offer to cut their fee for them. I have friends and family local so I ask for help ALL the time. My husband helps too around the house but sometimes being alone to read is all I want

*HUGS* I am going through almost the EXACT same thing. It's tough isn't it. Our dining room table has now become the 'laundry table'.

One thing I have to tell myself, is to pick ONE important thing to accomplish that day.

Today, it's is going to be arguing on the phone w/my insurance company and getting taxes prepared and bills paid, that is my priority. I got all the paperwork together 2 nights ago, so at least I have it ready. After that, my goal is to put away laundry and to cut my 4 yr old's nails b/c they are atrocious. That is ALL I am going to focus my energy on today. If I finish those things, I will most likely take a small nap or watch a movie with my kiddo, then maybe I will do the dishes or something else productive. You just have to not think of everything that needs done, b/c then you will be so overwhelmed you will get nothing done.

Sometimes, I make the husband take the kids out for a few hours so I can do things... or I call him to bring home dinner b/c I don't have the energy to cook or the kitchen is still a mess.

As a Daycare provider YOU have to make sure you have time for you! I also found myself in the same situation as a daycare provider although I loved it I was generally worn out and there is a strict standard to adhere to when you have an in home daycare!
Here is my suggestion: HIRE HELP! Have some one come in and clean ...Once....Twice.... whatever you need to get through this challenging time! Call family ask for help....Maybe the kids could stay at grandmas or aunties for a night. Plan it and take half the time to give yourself what you need....the other half doing tasks(getting caught up)!

I have been where you are running an in home daycare (for 4 years)with 2 small kids of my own......Get outside help and don't feel guilty about it!

Hugs!! BEEN THERE!! It does get overwhelming. I agree with Momma L, don't focus on "all" that you have to do, but just one or two things. . . . Also, check out flylady dot net. Just taking a few of her priciples has made life much easier for me. And remember (easier said than done, I know) that this is just a phase in life and it will pass. I'm like you, I need that alone time to recharge, and as my girls get older (now 9 and 4) I'm able to sneak that time in a little easier. Glad you were able to vent, hope you get some things that help!

I know exactly how you feel. It sounds like your husband is willing to help, so maybe (if everyone is feeling well this weekend) he can take the kids somewhere for one day this weekend(zoo, mall, family's house, etc) or just try to keep them busy and out of your way so you can everything done that you need to. My husband and I are taking turns, one Saturday I will take baby out of the house so he can do some cleaning and the next Saturday he will take the baby. We only do this for a couple of hours, but it's amazing what you can accomplish quickly with no children in the way. LOL. good luck.

Been there! (Still there!) Sounds exactly like me. Every so often, I just need a weekend, or weekend day, to get caught up on the extra stuff! Like you said, taxes, newsletter, those things. Not even to mention the day to day normal stuff. When I get to that point, or feel like I'll be getting there soon, I plan an overnight for my kids at my moms. It is worth the hour drive there & back to drop them off. 4 hours of driving total, but it's the only time I get to myself to relax/re-energize and also have some time to catch up on the extra stuff.

No matter how many times I've asked my husband to take the kids & go visit his parents (in town) or anything, he never has yet. I suppose that would only buy me a couple hours time anyway, but I really crave ALONE time AT HOME. Soo frustrating. On one hand, I'm so thankful to my parents, but it does stink that I have to spend that much time driving just to get this time! lol.

Good luck! Maybe you could have your husband do something with them on the weekend, or family or friends?? Could they go overnight somewhere or is that not an option? Or send them all to a hotel in town just to get them out of the house for a long enough time, lol. Sounds like you mainly need more time to get caught up with the 'extra' stuff and recharge after all the illness. I hope you get the time you need! I'm overdue for one myself, have it planned for late March & it can't get here soon enough!

I thought you were planning an escape for us mom's over the weekend! BUMMER! I was so in!!!!! It is hard to do everything while everyone is there, almost like cleaning for company a week ahead of time b/c you know house is going to get trashed. Why not do one room a day while the children are napping? Is that something that could work. Not even a complete overhaul, just do what you need to do. As far as the bathrooms, could you do them at night before you go to bed once a week or do they have to be done daily w/the day care regulations (or is it just one that is being used daily by the day care)? Try to do what you can while they are busy doing the things they need little or no supervision with. It is hard to do anything w/little one's I know, that's why I am glad that mine are 8 & 14 but the messes only get bigger. I had to laugh when I was reading your post, b/c I used to watch children at my home when my children were younger. Although it can be exhausting, it is the most wonderful feeling in the world. I now volunteer at a day care center once a week and will be working there p/t w/in the next few weeks. I wish you the best of luck and try not to put too much on yourself, you're doing a great job!