Leaving a Teen a Home

Updated on March 31, 2010
C.B. asks from Dublin, OH
9 answers

In the summer I have schedule a South Carolina vacation for the whole family, 6 of us. But my 17 year old son said he wants to stay home. He will start a 2nd job in the summer and we already have another vacation planned with all of the cousins. He doesn't want to ask off again and I do unterstand his point. He also is very responsilbe, so I am not concerned about his behavior.
My question is, is 17 too young to be home for a full week by himself? And what suggestions do you have about how to break up his week so it is not so long and possibly lonely?

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

No. It's not too young. I'd leave my teens alone, although I would needlessly worry about them.

I have a feeling he'll fill up his time just fine. My teens would be thrilled if mom would leave them alone for a week.

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S.B.

answers from Savannah on

umm, it depends on the kids I guess. My parents left my sister and I home alone for a week when I was 18 and she was 20. They knew we wouldn't throw a party or misbehave. They also had let the neighbors know to watch the house. So if you feel he's mature enough and you have some close by friends who can pop by unannounced or neighbors who would watch the house for you...then I think he'll be fine. He's going to be working anyhow right? And he has friends? I doubt he'll be lonely. Anytime my parents went out of town when I was alone (my sister had moved out) I was perfectly content. I had work, friends, etc. to keep me occupied.

3 moms found this helpful
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D.S.

answers from Tulsa on

if hes mature I would say no under one stipulation. will he have a car available. I would leave him money in case he needs something from the store but he has to have a way to get there. at 18 he is going to have to learn to take care of himself so a week at 17 is a very good start. He has to learn the food doesn't cook itself the dishes don't do themselves.
When he moves out he will have to go to the store by himself.

He will have to get himself up for work at 18 and older so I would say this is a very good controlled start. A taste of the real world but on the other hand just a week of it. He needs to learn to break up his own week. you can't always be there for him. When he moves out he will have to learn to occupy himself and you are giving him a taste of the grown up world. give it all to him. And trust me a 17 year old won't be lonely they have more important things to do. Friends girls, all of that jazz. Let him be a kid and find his own way to occupy himself. You have to cut the apron strings sometime.

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M.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

My mom left me at 17 for a month, way back in the 80's though.
She had my aunt check in periodically and my best friend's mom would make me dinners at times.
My aunt had a key to the house and would come in unannounced. That kept me on my toes.
I would allow him to have a friend but be very careful. ONly one at a time, no girls. Does he go to church youth group on a Weds night? He should still go if he does.
Do you have a neighbor who is willing to check in on him? Put that in place too so he understands that Mrs, Jones will be checking up and if you don't answer the door or the phone and she knows you are in there, she will call you or the police. .
This is a big step. I hope he can rise to the occasion. Check up on him every day.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

At 17 he can legally be emancipated and live on his own, so yes, he's old enough. I'm guessing he's just a few months shy of being 18 at which point he's a full adult and can join the military, sign a lease for an apartment, enter contracts legally, etc. He needs the opportunity to test his wings without being hovered over, give him the chance.

And don't worry about keeping him entertained, that's part of the job of becoming an adult, entertaining yourself without mom doing it for you. Have a nice vacation!

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S.S.

answers from Omaha on

If your son is working 2 jobs, I doubt he will have time to be bored or lonely. Plus I am sure he has friends. It seems like my mom left my brother home at 17 because he was working- or might have even been 16, whatever the case, you know your son, his maturity level, and how much you trust him, just remember, even the best of kids can fail when they are left alone- but it hast to be done some time

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

Do you have a neighbor that would be available to him if he needs anything during that week? Does he have a responsible friend or two that you feel comfortable with him having over a few times during the week?

I don't think it's too young as long as he knows what to do in case of emergency and you've provided some source of "back up" just in case.

Good luck,
K.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

I would only do this if you had someone (adult) that could come and have dinner with him every night and had neighbors that would be comfortable calling you and/or the police as soon as there was more than one additional car in the driveway or they saw other kids coming into the house. I am sure that your son is trustworthy, but situations like adult-free houses spin out of control so quickly with teenagers. Around here, there was just a story about a family who came home from a 10 day trip to Paris to find that teenagers had created about $45,000 worth of damage to her house; and everyone, including the police, say that the teenage son who was left home alone did not plan the party at all. Good luck with your decision.

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E.R.

answers from Chicago on

If you think he is responsible, I would let him stay home. However- I would also let all the neighbors, other moms of his friends, etc. KNOW that he is home on his own and ask if they can have him over for dinner, etc. I would also let your son KNOW that they know he is home alone.

i doubt if he is planning a crazy teen party like in an 80s movie, but that will definitely discourage him if he is! And it will give you peace of mind that others are looking out for him and keeping him fed, etc. :)

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