Letting Babies "Cry It Out" to Sleep....

You will find on here people who are pro-CIO and others are against it...however, even those who advocate for it will tell you that 4 months is too young.

I only have a second to answer, so feel free to PM me for anymore details, but like you I had a great sleeper for a first child and thought I had done a good job...then my son came along and humbled me! LOL I could not do the CIO methods...he is 10 months old and has severe separation anxiety and I just felt it was too cruel...he would get hysterical. I just started the "Sleep Lady Shuffle" 3 nights ago and it's amazing! I was skeptical. It has made a world of difference! Her name is Kim West and her book is "Good Night Sleep Tight" and she also has a website. Basically to start, you do a bedtime routine, do not feed to sleep, get baby sleepy, put them in the crib and then sit right by the crib and soothe them, pat them, whatever for as long as it takes for them to settle and go to sleep. There might be some tears, but you're not "abandoning" them. The first night it took 45 min for my little guy to go to sleep...he did the stand up, flop, cry, play, kick the rails, jabber, roll....finally went to sleep and slept ALMOST all night!!!! (For the first time ever!) The last 2 nights have been good too! Good luck!

The "cry it out" method is not supposed to be used on a baby under 6 months. If a 4 month old is crying, she needs something.

Your friend is a wise woman.
When you asked her if you should feed your daughter
every three hours, she answered "I don't know".
Take her at her word.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Especially about letting a little baby cry it out.
FOUR MONTHS.
ONE HUNDRED TWENTY DAYS.
A little teeny helpless creature,
dependent on you for everything.
Doesn't yet understand what happens when you're not there.
Doesn't know if you'll EVER come back.
Even if you've come back hundreds of times.
She doesn't know if you'll come back THIS time.
Doesn't feel safe unless she is being held and cuddled and rocked.
PLEASE DO NOT LET HER CRY IT OUT.
Hold her, feed her, love her, snuggle her, sing to her.

I did this with my oldest child and I regret it every time I think about it...she's now almost 11yrs. old, btw. If I had the chance to do anything in my life over again...I'd choose to have been more understanding and patient, rather than leave her alone to cry at night. I did this on the advice of our pediatrician and a few family members because I was exhausted and didn't know what else to do. With our second child, I abandoned that advice and honored my maternal instincts more. If it felt wrong, I didn't do it...if it felt right, I did. A baby needs her mother's comfort and at 4 months old, still needs feedings through the night. That's just a physical requirement to maintain blood sugars and ensure proper development. Babies that young are not able to self-soothe and babies (like all humans in general) will have differing personalities. What worked for your older daughter, may not work for your youngest.

CIO is a complicated topic, because it means different things to different people, and is applied in different ways.

My son would cry his heart out for 4 minutes and then giggle and hum and fall asleep if he was over tired. (If he wasn't overtired, he just didn't cry, he arched backwards to get to the bed faster than I was lowering him). To some people that 4 minutes of crying is CIO to some it's not. On my side of the family, a baby is never allowed to cry more than 10 minutes, for any reason. Crying that long, means something is *wrong*. ((Although that "something" can, and often is, a stressed out sleep deprived mama. It's frustrating when you CANNOT get your baby to sleep and then someone who isn't leaking stress like a firehose rocks your wee one for 5 minutes and they pass out.))

My husband's family just puts the babies down at "whenever" and comes back 12 hours later. They ALSO call that CIO (I call it abusive and neglectful).

CIO also covers everything in between. But as with the above 2 options... some people will call it CIO, and some won't. One reason you find so many people who are ardently against CIO is that it was all the "rage" for a long time (hint: fads with babies usually = bad, we've been having babies for thousands of years, anything that is just radically different needs to ve viewed critically.), and it was typically done in an abusive way. Babies crying for hours on end. Mothers actually KEPT from their children, and not "allowed" to comfort them/ see to their needs by strictly following one fad or another (or their husband's following it). There's about 20 years of bad history of CIO in this country.

Anyhow... because the practice is so varied... it's impossible to label off of only the name itself.

But YES. If they wake hungry, or wet... one NEVER leaves a baby in their own filth or starving. One feeds or changes them. That's just what you do.

I think its mean too, you may get the result that you want but not the way you want it. I like my children to know that if they are upset and lonely that i will attempt to solve that feeling, no matter how inconvenient it may be. Thats one of the things i decided to give up when i decided to become a mom, convenient easy schedules. I may have had to share my bed more than i like, and lost more sleep than i would have liked , but my kids never cried till they threw up, cried until they got so tired and their eyes got so puffy they gave up. and thats what i actually like.

The long route has more decent scenery, and the same destination.

I agree it is mean. You are telling your baby that she can't count of you to comfort him. I have heard so many arguments for it and I just think it's selfish. Just hold and cuddle your baby she will calm down. I would feed her as usual and just cuddle her.

I have 3 kids, they are all different and I have never felt the need to let them cry it out.

No offense C., this topic is just so heart wrenching.

OMG really, people who let their babies cry it out are insane. Sorry that is how I feel!
Babies are crying for a reason. They can not be spoiled or try and trick you into doing thing by crying... they are hungry, wet, in pain, cold ect....
Studies have shown that the cry it out method long term is never a good option. My last little one didn't sleep through the night until she was 6 months old and I don't regret getting up with her one bit! She needed it and when it was time, she let it go...
I of course didn't run to her at her first cry. I did let her work through some crying, but seriously for just minutes.... if she didn't give up, I went for her.
Both my girls were breastfed and held lots. I got up with them and loved them as much as I could. I am sad that those days are over- they go by so fast. So cherish this time and one day she will sleep on her own and be a better person for it. She will know that her mommy will always come for her, for anything!

I let my children cry it out but not at 4 mos. They are still on demand for feedings. After a yr then I would and if after 3--45 min if they do not wear themselves out I let them up. Most takes only about 10-15 min. I had one I layed down with him and he wanted to play and so we played until he was so tired and out. All are different. G. W

Your friend said to just let her cry in her crib at night? That is her solution? Wow! That to me is horrible advice, no offense to your friend.

I'm just curious, does your friend have babies? Is she talking from personal experience? I can't believe a friend would tell you to let a 4 month old CIO because as you said..it is "mean".

We're a co-sleeping family so sorry for being so blunt =-)

Go with your instincts. They are always right.

You're right, the reasons why a 4 month old ARE different than a 16-month old. Your older daughter has figured out how to push your buttons (they are very clever at that age already!) but your 4 month old is still trying to figure out this big world. Some babies sleep through the night early on and some don't. It has absolutely nothing to do with your parenting skills or how much you feed them, etc. Still, at this stage, feeding on demand is what's best if that has been what you have been doing. So, yes, if she wakes up and she's hungry, you feed her. She's still so tiny and no matter what anyone says a 4 month old CANNOT be spoiled! They don't even know the art of parent manipulation yet! There's nothing wrong with her, she's just needing her mama more during the night than your first one. I read an article from Dr. Sears when I was having the same difficulties with my kiddos. It said that babies that young are not supposed to sleep through the night. That they need those nightly feedings to keep there blood sugars normal and they need the warmth, affection and assurance that their parents are there. Some just need that assurance more than others. It also mentioned that babies that woke up several times a night in their first year have been shown to be highly intelligent. (If that's truly the case mine must be geniuses! :-)) I'm not sure of the connection, but I'll take it! Neither of my kids slept all the way through the night until about 18 months. We did co-sleep until about 9-12 months and transition was pretty easy.

I tried cry it out at 4mo and really wish that I hadn't. My Ped recommended it so I thought she knew what she was talking about but afterward I found out that it is not meant for children under 6mo. They are not old enough to grasp the concept you are trying to teach. It was a horrible experience and I really wish I could take those nights back. I tried it again at 8mo and she only cried for 30 minutes and understood that it was time to sleep. She only cried that one night. I would defientely wait.

i did it with my first and i wish i hadn't. we just didn't know what else to do with that poor colicky baby. with my 2nd and 3rd babies i found it worked much better to first lay the baby back down, put on some music, rub or pat the belly or back a little, leave and let them cry up to 5 minutes. i would do this twice and if the baby woke/kept crying a 3rd time i fed them. your baby is still so little and needs comfort. sometimes with my oldest it helped to have a friend or relative watch him so that i could sleep. i usually woke up sooner than i wanted because i was full of milk, but it was always a more peaceful rest than when i was the only one listening for the baby to wake.

The "cry it out" method is meant to be used on babies 6 months and older. 4 months is too young. The proper way to do it (at 6 months) is to let her cry for 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, go in the room, and without talking to the baby, comfort her without picking her up until she is not crying, then leave the room. If she starts crying again, let her cry 15 minutes, do the same thing, leave then let her cry 20 minutes, and so forth keep upping the minutes you let her cry until she finally gives up the ship. It does work if done properly. This is called the "Ferber Method". Truthfully, it is hard to listen to your baby cry, but if done correctly at the proper age, I think most don't take too long to catch on.

You've had a lot of responses, but I'm going to throw in my two cents. My first baby, it took until he was 16 months old to sleep through the night. It was horrible and we finally just had to let him cry it out. With my second child, I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child and it was the best thing I could do. He gives you different options depending on the age and personality of the child.

At four months old, I was still up every 3 to 4 hours because I was breastfeeding and I had a chunky boy who probably could have slept through the night, but I didn't feel it was right to make him cry it out. I then bought this book and it seemed to fix everything.

Since you work, she just may need some cuddle time at night with Mommy, at least that's what I think my boys needed. Go with your instincts and what works for you and don't listen to anyone else. I know I enjoyed my time with my boys in the middle of the night - it doesn't last long!

I think that you have to really know your child...some children don't do well with CIO, they cry and never stop...throw up etc. Some children cry for ten minutes and fall asleep and sleep well. Some children get clingier and less sure the days after they cry it out at night, some are fine...Both sides will cite examples of how the other side is screwing up kids by picking one way or another.
I started out refusing to do CIO..when my son was 3 months old I was rocking him, holding him, walking around up to two hours every night, and he would start crying the minute I put him down and it would start all over again....eventually he started fussing even when I was walking him because he was so tired. He was not learning how to go to sleep on his own and I was exhausted.
So then over the next couple of months I tried letting him lie in the crib with me in his room which was no good, he would cry as long as I was in there. Ditto the intermittant "checking"..he would just cry harder the minute I went back in there. Sometimes I would go in there in check and he would go from making loud cries to smiling at me..what a little faker!
Finally I just tried plain old CIO...the stipulations being that I had to know that he was fed and dry and that if he cries for 20 minutes without stopping then I go in to him. And of course I know the difference between his "im in teething pain" or "I'm still hungry" cry vs. his "I'm tired but I don't want to sleep" cry. It works for MY child. He only has cried more than 20 minutes a couple of times, (in the beginning) mostly it's only about 3-5 minutes before he goes to sleep, and most of the time he doesn't cry at all (he's 9 months now). He sleeps from 7-8 pm to 6 am (gets up to nurse) then goes back to sleep until about 8-9 am. He's clearly a mama's boy but is not clingy, loves people and is comfortable with all types of situations. We get lots of comments about how good natured he is.
Again though, it works for MY child...it might not work for yours, might even be damaging. I have friends who tried CIO and their children cried and cried and cried. You have to know what kind of kid YOU have to judge whether this will work for you. I agree, if you have the kind of kid that CIO won't work for it would be mean...it would be torturous for them and for you...
but if you have a kid that it does then it works well. And I resent some of the other postings on this subject...do you really think I would do it if it was torturing my child? I hate listening to my child fuss and cry as much as any other mother, but I hated even more listening to his screaming because he was so tired and couldn't get to sleep any other way. This method is not for every family, it certainly is harder on some children than others, and has to be used judiciously when it is a viable option, but at least keep an open mind about the fact that not one solution fits every child and not assume that it is "abusing" children. I certainly don't disrespect the people I know that sleep with children in their bed because its not the way I do it..as long as they are doing it intelligently and safely then they should do what works best for their child.

There are lots on either side of this issue. I personally let my daughter cry it out if I knew she wasn't hungry or dirty. At four months she was only waking once at night-usually around 230. But after 20 minutes if she hadn't gone to sleep and was wailing just as loud as ever I would get up and get her. I also didn't wake her to feed her. If she was hungry she'd wake up and let me know all about it. Crying it out is one of the way that kiddos can learn to self sooth. A very important skill they need.

I think sleep training is very important. I think the first thing we need to teach our children is how to self soothe. It is an important skill to learn how to put yourself to sleep. Babies wake up many times during the night and they need to learn how to go back to sleep without you! As long as a baby is over 10 lbs they are perfectly fine to sleep through the night. (11 to 5) And I would NOT wake a sleeping baby to feed in the night no matter what you decide to do. if she is sleeping then let her sleep. Ok here is what I would and have done. Use this sleep training for ALL sleep time. Naps and night time.

Put her down to sleep awake. Wait 20 minutes before you go in there. Let her cry. I know this can be very hard. Look at a watch because even 5 minutes can feel like an eternity. Take a shower or turn off the moniter. After 20 minutes go in and talk to her and pat her back. Try not to pick her up. then give her another 20 minutes. At night time when she starts to cry wait 20 minutes before going in there. it should take only a few days before she is putting her self to sleep with minimal to no crying. You and her will be so much more rested! She needs more prolonged sleep by now. Good luck.

I trust Dr. Sears. I would suggest reading on his site www.askdrsears.com and see what he says.....I have used his advice many times and felt good about the decision. If you do not feel good/comfortable while she is crying it out, it is not the right decision for you. Trust your gut! I have not let either of mine CIO until after 2 years of age; that is when I was comfortable with it. I read "The No Cry Sleep Solution" for one of mine and it helped me think creatively with my then toddler. Since finding Sears advice, it has been supported by pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp, and the Father Son team from Love and Logic---The Fayes. Despite what people say; listen to your gut.

Speaking from experience -- yes, I let my oldest child cry it out. I have three children and she was the one who just didn't want to sleep through the night. It is so funny seeing the posts from all the moms who think that is mean. It isn't mean -- it really is worse for you than it is for the child. It was very hard on my and my husband, especially since she was our first born. But I do not regret it for an instant because it worked so well. Our pedi suggested we try it when she still wasn't sleeping through the night at 5 months old. The first night was the worst, the second night was a little better, the third night better still and by the fourth night she was sleeping through the night, just as the doctor said. And from that point on she slept great! There were exceptions -- when she was teething or sick then of course she would wake up at night due to discomfort but those are temporary situations.

Our pedi said to just check in on her periodically to make sure there was nothing else wrong to be causing her to cry and then leave. So I guess this is now called the Ferber method. It's letting your child cry it out, but not leaving them completely alone and "ignored".

Thankfully I didn't need to do it with my other children because they started sleeping through the night on their own at about 4 1/2 months. But if they hadn't, I would have used the same method again.

There is a lot of evidence out their that suggests that if we don't let our children learn to soothe themselves to sleep, they will continue to be poor sleepers for years. So no matter what method you adopt, you definitely want to help your child learn to sleep properly.

Good luck!

Every child is different! You have to do what's best for YOU and your child! My oldest started sleeping all night at 12 weeks. He has ALWAYS been a GREAT sleeper! My second, didn't sleep thru the night until 16 1/2 months! I thought I was literally going to die working full time all day and being up every couple of hours. I did finally resort to letting him cry it out in his crib. BUT, at 16 months old, he was old enough not to eat every few hours. I also started putting water in his sippy cup instead of milk at night in case that was his sole purpose of getting up as well. That worked to an extent. Within about 2 weeks, we were all sleeping all night long! I'm not saying the way I did it is the right way, or the way another parent suggests.....like I said, you have to find out what works best for YOU and your child and no one else!

glad you didn't let her 'cry it out'----if a baby is crying,something is wrong!wouldn't adults love to have someone comfort them when they are not feeling well?

4 months is too young. Rather than get into the whole for/against discussion, I just suggest getting a copy of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, a sleep expert. Anyway, it's my childhood sleep questions bible, and I can't imagine my life without it.

There will be a lot of opinions on this, but my feeling was that a baby under the age of 6 months old should be expected to wake for night feedings--that is the way that they are designed (ie, with small stomachs that don't hold a lot of food).

I nursed my son, and he nursed 2x per night almost every night up until 5 months old (I work during the day, so he nursed a lot in the evening/at night, even though I pumped at work). After around 7 months old, he didn't need to nurse in the middle of the night, but waking to do so was a habit. I was having a lot of issues at that point, so I did do the CIO method, but I read several books and tried several things first (including Dr. Sears sleep book, which was sort of useful, but only minorly so). Before doing the CIO, I read Dr. Ferber's book on it (he's sort of considered the "authority" on it). I recommend reading Ferber's book, or at least skimming it before starting, so you understand how baby's sleep works.

In the end, though it was awful for about a week (it got easier as the week went on), it was better for everyone--I was so much less sleep deprived and thus better able to take care of my little guy during the day/evening; when I got more sleep, I was more patient with him, with my husband, with everyone, and actually much happier in general.

I learned A LOT from the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. 4 months old is about the time some babies are ready to start sleeping through the night.

There's no way I'd let my baby cry it out. My baby is almost 6 months old and I read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" which talked about swaddling (among other things) to help your baby feel secure. We swaddled her and followed the other recommendations in the book and she's slept through the night since she was 6 weeks old (and she's breastfed!).

I didn't do it with my daughter until she was older. She was manipulating us to come hold her at night. She broke the last straw when after crying, I went to pick her up and hold her that she laughed at me. She has a specific fake cry for at night to try to lure us in. It only lasts less than 5 minutes, though and then she sleeps.
Point...you know your baby best. If I hear the painful/hungry cry, I get her. You are the mommy and you sound like a good concerned one. If she is on a schedule, I would keep her on it. She will want to make changes to it soon enough. :-)

Check out some of these suggestions/experiences on sleeping and even the CIO method which lot of women use and it seems to work, even though it is tough for all parents. hope it helps!

http://www.theskinnyscoop.com/search/sleep?utm_campaign=t...

Read BabyWise (sometimes called 'On Becoming BabyWise') - it is a great book for getting your child on a schedule and will answer lots of questions for you . . .

I haven't read through the responses but there is a HUGE developmental spurt at 4 months. Their sleep goes really wacky. I have a 4 month old going through it right now. Honestly, I wouldn't try to do anything for another month. And if you want to do cry it out, wait until 6 months. And read the Ferber book before you do it so you know what you are doing. Just do your best now and let your baby be a 4 month old baby.

I breastfed my daughter until she was 8 months old. It was only after I had weaned her at 6 months that I was confident enough to let her 'cry it out'. I sleep trained her over 3 nights and now she is the best sleeper ever!! My advice would be to feed on demand until your child is weaned and you feel confident that he/she isn't hungry in the night.

I didn't do cr it out with either of my boys until after 12 months.

I never let me babies cry without going to them before there were 6 months old. About 7 months my kids did not need to eat in the middle of the night and it took one night of crying and from then on they slept through the night. I think it's okay because babies expect you to come in and it is acceptable to teach them that they need to sleep through the night. For both my kids, it took 30 minutes (made me feel so bad) of crying on one night and then they slept through the night on their own from then on.

My daughter is six, but I remember when she was a newborn. She would never go to sleep in her crib until around 4 months. I tried everything and the Swaddle, Swing, Shhhh, etc. steps worked best. The Miracle Blanket was truly a miracle for us.. She quieted almost immediately once swaddled. We used it until around 6 or 8 months (legs were out of the blanket once she outgrew it, but her arms were still swaddled until she no longer wanted it). Good luck!

If you're interested, try reading the Sleepeasy Solution by Jennifer Waldburger. I found it to be a very sympathetic approach to CIO... and it did wonders for my baby at 4 months old and she's been a great sleeper ever since. Not only can it help you decide if this is somethnig you might want to do with your little one, it will also answer all those questions you may have about situations that can pop up during the sleep training process....like feedings, diaper changes etc....
Hope this helps. Good luck!

My pediatrician said if the baby's diaper is dry and her tummy is full, let her cry.

This may not be much help, but I can't remember at what age I started to let my son CIO. It was pretty early though. If he had been fed, changed, burped, and I knew there was nothing else wrong, I would allow him to cry for a little bit. It took about a week and after that I was able to put him down without a peep. Now this lasted up until he was about 9 months old. Then something happened and we were back to needing to be rocked to sleep. He has gone back and forth from then about going to sleep on his own well.

He is 22 months now and is a happy toddler that gets lots of kisses and hugs and even though he can't tell me, I'm pretty sure he knows we love the heck out of him. There are still times I let him CIO.

Now if I remember correctly, my son was going longer than every 3 hour feedings at that age and I think I had even started to put a little cereal in his formula before bedtime. Some people will disagree, but this is just my opinion and what worked for me.

Lots of luck to you and hope that you find what works for you!!

Cry it out isn't recommended for children under the age of 8 months old for various psychological reasons. After that age, they are able to learn to self soother, but before that they need the reassuarnce that mom is there... it will help teach trust and independance, which are both excellent things.

A full nights sleep for babies is considered 5 hours, so if you continue to feed for the 3 hours and gradually push it, you can stretch it to 5 hours soon. There are ways to condition your baby to fall asleep.

Dr. Sears has some wonderful and expert advice sleep issues that can help you a lot here:

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

I was told by a PED to teach your baby to trust you, while you teach them a little independence. You walk away and let them cry for 30 seconds, then, come back and pat them to let them know you are there. Walk away again for a minute then come back and pat them, walk away progressively longer and longer and they will learn you are not going to leave them.

I can't say that works. My four year old still makes me promise I won't walk into another room while she is showering. I usually put her in the shower and then go get her pajamas and towel and come right back, but she hates it.

Sleeping all night at this age is anything over 5 hours. If you are breastfeeding, 3 hour stretches of sleep are awesome! I will say that some babies need to be held a lot and some actually need to fuss a bit to sleep, but not necessarily cry it out especially at this age as crying is a survival instinct. You can experiment and see if your baby will just cry for a minute or two softly and settle into sleep. I did this with my son who would get over tired and would actually struggle to fall asleep until I decided to try just putting him down. Even now at 10 months old, he will nurse and fall asleep in my arms, but never go into a deep sleep unless I go and lay him down. Many times he will finish nursing and then jerk back and start crying and fussing. If I go and lay him down when he starts doing this, he goes right to sleep. He likes to roll over onto his side and he likes his space. If I hold him and try to comfort him he has a meltdown and wakes back up unless I actually put him up on my shoulder. So I think sometimes it's gas and he needs to burp, so he likes to roll over onto his tummy and knees to relieve the pressure and sleep at the same time. My daughter on the other hand (actually both daughters) were the type that first would go to sleep easily. One I would lay down and she would just close her eyes. The other would suck her thumb and comfort herself to sleep. Then at around 6 months it all changed and they needed to be nursed and held until completely asleep and then I could put them down. Putting them down before they were ready would result in crying fits and they would actually get up and work themselves up in moments rather then settling down. I would stay right there and try to pat or reassure and nothing would work to settle them unless I actually picked them up. Then right back to sleep they would go.

So realize every baby is different. Your baby is too young for CIO. And at this age, the cry is for a reason. Gas, hunger, temperature regulation, security, etc.

4 months is the perfect age to start sleep training because they are able to self soothe. My first son had acid reflux and cried constantly. We were desperate for some sleep. When we hit 4 months we did the Ferber method (cry it out). Best thing we ever did and yes people judged us for it but they weren't the ones going with out sleep. I believe it made us better parents because of it and the training goes quickly if you start it young. It took about a week but after that he put himself to bed.

Basically we started with a routine bedtime and then I would set a limit to rock him. If we started to get drowsy I put him in his crib. If you put him in it asleep he would just wake an hour later because it would startle him. Imagine going to sleep in one place and waking in another. Once in his crib if he started crying we would come back and check on him at 5 min increments but gradually making them longer just so he knew we were still there but we didn't pick him up. Eventually he just drifted to sleep. By 6 months he would play a little and then fall asleep all on his own. We never woke him to eat but if he did wake we would feed him.

Good luck!

Your baby's too young at 4 months to sleep through the night. How often you feed depends on whether you nurse or not - if you nurse, every 2-3 hours is usually how long you have to go between feedings (feed on demand).

If you feed formula, a 3 hr schedule during the day is OK and will help them sleep longer at night (4 hrs or so between feedings, from 10 pm to 6 am).

I learned this method from the local hospital's NICU and still use it after three months. Try keeping a record of how much formula your baby takes in a 24 hr period. For example, 8 feedings, total 24 oz. This may vary from day to day, 23, 25 etc, but it usually hovers around a "magic number" - more or less the same number of ounces each day. Try to figure out your baby's average daily intake.

Now, if your baby takes most of this during the day, he won't wake up as often at night. Likewise, if you let your baby nap 5 hrs during the day, he won't eat as much and will make up for it by waking up frequently at night to complete this "magic number".

This said, it doesn't have to be like clockwork during the day. You'll find your baby will naturally wake up every 2.5 - 3.5 hours. If he goes longer (4+ hours), wake him up to feed.

When you're ready to try the Cry it Out, get "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber (2006). This book is recommended by sleep specialists as one of the most effective methods. It is not cold-turkey, rather a gradual coaxing that comforts the child. It worked wonders with my oldest.

You'll find an excellent review of the book (look for the most helpful one, "True 'attachment' parenting")

http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp...

I tried it, and it didn't work for us. I have heard some people have success with it. We did it at 7 months. I believe I have read some posts on here stating that there is an age where you start, and not before. There are also some books on it, but I went by what my ped told me to do. When we did it our baby was fed on demand, so we weren't feeding her every 3 hours.
You will be getting a lot of responses on whether you should let her cry it out or not, ultimately it's up to you and your comfort level. If you don't like the idea, try something else. If you're willing to try it then go for it.
Hang in there! Good Luck.

It is suggested not to allow a baby to "cry it out" until at least 6 months of age. If you decide to use this method, it's ok to check on her every 3-5 minutes (I usually place the pacifer back in my baby's mouth, rub his head, smile and walk away). This will reassure her that you are still near by. I have three children, one of which is 8 months, and this has worked well for our family. I understand this method is not for everyone and I hope God gives you peace in whatever you decide to do.

You shouldn't use CIO until your baby sleeps through the night with no feedings. This can be as early as 3 months, but only if your are feeding your baby plenty of food all day long until they are full to absolute capacity-as in you offer all day and he eats until he turns the food down. It takes a few days of increased feeding (all day, not just right before bed) for his body to register the increase in calories and make it through the night. Then CIO works wonderfully. We did it with all three kids and they have all soothed themselves to sleep and slept like rocks all night since 3 months.

I have three kids and not one of them has followed the same pattern. I am sort of on the fence about the CIO method. I think you have to KNOW your kid KNOW their temperament and then determine if it will work in your house. IMHO, it isn't for every kid or every mom.

My oldest was one of those kids who was up and eating every 2 hours (breastfed) for ever. He never slept much, AT ALL. Finally around age 2 we did the CIO method, because he needed to learn to self soothe and it worked. It was hard- I had to leave our house while Hubby implemented it. But it only took about a week before he got the concept. Kiddo #2 slept fine once you got her to sleep. I coslept with her from day one and I think she was just too used to having someone next to her. So around age 2 we tried CIO. She lost her marbles and never calmed down, so we didn't use it anymore because it seemed like a not kind thing to do to her. Unfortunately, she still (at age 9) struggles to go to bed.

So with baby #3 I decided I wouldn't co-sleep. But she just naturally has a more routine sleep pattern. From day one she had the concepts of day/night down. I can see, now, though, at age 3 months, where she could start to learn bad habits. So I think I'll be checking out the book that one mom suggested on here..>Happiest Baby on the Block.

Again....as with ALL things parenting....not one thing works for all kids (even if they have the same DNA!)

Every child has a different personality and so does every parent so there is no "one-size-fits-all" sleeping solution. You need to find a solution that you are comfortable with, not one that someone else tells you to do. I suggest reading "The No-Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. She offers a multitude of ideas for getting babies to sleep without letting them cry it out. Personally, at 4 months old, I think the most important thing a baby can learn is the security and confidence in knowing mom is there for them whenever they need it. If letting your child cry it out feels wrong, it probably is. For feeding, I wouldn't wake a baby to feed them, only if they wake up and are hungry.

It always hurt me lots to hear a baby cry! My daughter did not like to get to sleep but would sleep very well after that. I would let her cry for a while and try to teach her to self soothe and then pick her up and rock her. I would start out at about 15 minutes and gradually let it get longer. Even at night when she woke up I would never rush right in there and eventually she would just be sleeping when I got there.

Our first pediatrician told us 6 weeks and 10 lbs and they were ready to sleep through the night (meaning 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep). At that age and weight they do not need a middle of the night feeding. At that time we did let them 'cry it out'. It took no more than 1/2 an hour for no more than three nights (for the most stubborn one). After four kids, we have never had any sleep issues.