Looking for Advice on My Hard to Go to Sleep Baby

Man, I wish I could give you advice but truth is I need some myself. My 9 month old does not take anything either but uses me as a pacifer. I tried crying it out but he cried allllll night, yes, I said all night. He absolutely will not go to sleep on his own. I feel bad for you because I know how hard it is. Good luck.

This sounds just like my daughter. She just turned 2 and it still sometimes takes me forever rocking her to sleep. I will let her stay in her bed and try to "cry it out" but then she gets so upset she usually ends up throwing up in her bed. I really don't have any advice because mine doesn't fall asleep on her own but as they get older it only gets harder. Good luck.

There is a book on the market called Baby 411 and Todler 411 - they are wonderful. At this point you probably need to just get the second one, but take an afternoon alone at the bookstore to read the sleep chapter in the first one. It sounds like you have conditioned your little one to expect the bouncing everynight (that is his soothing method.) At 13 months he should be able to self soothe both at bedtime, nap time and if he wakes up in the middle of the night to be able to go back to sleep. You may need to spend a few nights letting him cry it out. The basics of that are let him cry for 5 minutes, then go in and with out touching him tell him night night again and leave the room, wait 7 minutes if he is still crying do the same thing, wait 10 minutes if he is still crying do the same thing. It shouldn't take much longer than that. The hardest part is on you to have to listen to him cry. A couple of nights of this should get the habit broken.

I'm also an advocate of letting them cry. He currently uses you as a sleep prop, but he needs to learn to self-soothe. The one baby we had to do this with, we let her cry til she wore herself out. It seemed it only made it worse when we went in there to pat her back or comfort her (WITHOUT PICKING HER UP!), but she never got to the point where she would throw up. By this age he may have a very strong will, so it could take a long time for him to tire out. If you keep your resolve and lovingly don't back down it should work for you. As soon as you go back in the room and pick him up and try to bounce him to sleep, he knows he's won and how long it took for you to cave. That's why consistency on your part is key. It really works! Also, having a good night routine is helpful so he's fully aware of what's coming. A few minutes of snuggling, a book, a prayer-whatever it is you might do. Best of luck!

My daughter did the same thing. Sometime she still does. If I put her to bed on her tummy she is usually more relaxed and stays asleep. If I put her in bed on her side she flips on to her back wide awake and kicking her legs like crazy like I gave her coffee. Maybe try putting your baby to bed on his stomach if you haven't already.
Good luck!!

I recently heard an idea my neice used with all three of her children. At night the children were given baths, put in their pajamas and were taken for a walk. When returning home they were put into bed with a story and ALWAYS fell asleep.
It's worth a try. I'll call her to be sure I have not left anything out.

The only thing that works for my baby is a nice long warm bath, warm milk, and - sometimes - a song.

My grandmother use to heat up my sons milk, and put a drop of honey in it. Shake it up so that it mixes well. This is an old remedy that they use to use. Try that and see if it works.

Some babies just need a little extra time with their Mom's. All babies are different as all people are different. You are having to divide you time with three. Also, eliminate all sugar after 1 or 2 in the afternoon, that mite help. Make sure he/she excerts a lot of his energy a couple of hours before bedtime...and...bedtime should be around the some time every night. Reading stories before nite nite helps. I have found, the older my son gets the more and more physical and mental stimulation he needs. Hope this helps.
A little about me: Christian, Day Spa Business owner (I take my son 15 month old with me and have been since 3 months) 3 beautiful step daughter's; 14, 14 and 21. Married to a really good man of 7 years.

You need to try letting him cry it out. You do a little each night. Like 10 minutes the first night, 15 minutes and longer until he learns to fall asleep on his own. Don't just let him cry for hours straight or he may make himself sick.

I found Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child to be an excellent resource for all ages of sleep problems. Email me if you want me to look at some specifics for your LO.

Blessings~

Every baby is different. Try putting your baby to sleep on his tummy and see if that helps. Our first baby was extremely difficult and had sleep issues. If your baby sleeps all night, could he share a room with your 3 YO? Try to get all 3 of your kids to bed at the same time. Read books to all of them if you can. I don't suggest CIO, especially with 3 kids. No one will get any sleep! Try infant massages while your baby is in his crib. Do the exact same routine every night if possible. Same bedtime, same dinnertime, etc. Make sure your baby is getting enough physical activity during the daytime to make sure he is ready to sleep at nightime. Good Luck!

My son, who is now 2, was like that as a baby. He needed to be bounced or walked for a long time to get to sleep. I personally am not a proponent of letting babies cry it out. I don't judge people who do. I think we all figure out what works for us and our babies. My son just needed help. My husband, even now but especially as a child, had to rock/head bang himself to sleep. Some kids just need more motion. I think because my husband is like that, he was always willing to help. He got that our son needed movement.

Anyway, to answer your question about whether they outgrow it, my answer is yes. At about 15 months my son started being able to fall asleep on his own. Now we are able to just do a bedtime routine and get him in bed. He sleeps most of the night, and he can usually put himself back to sleep if he wakes up now.

My only advice is: (a) get an exercise ball if you don't already have one. We would hold my son and bounce on it, and that usually did the trick. (b) get a swing or hammock or something that moves. My son napped a lot longer in one. (c) Get a sling or wrap (see peppermint.com) so you can wear your son while he sleeps. (d)Dr Sears has a whole book on infant sleep. He has lots of advice that doesn't include crying it out.

Good luck!

It is very important to have a bedtime routine, like a bath and then relaxing activities. He is old enough to learn to comfort himself. I think 45 minutes of bouncing is a bit too much. I would definitely suggest to get any of the books previously mentioned and cut down on the bouncing time. Every time he gets up just lay him back down. It may be tough for a few days but he will get the picture eventually. How ever difficult it is now, it is no where near as difficult as it will be as he gets older.

Good luck!

Edit - after reading a few more responses I just wanted to mention that honey is toxic to babies under 12 mos. Just in case anyone was thinking of trying that.

I hear you! There are times where I get to play single mommy for six months at a time. And my daughter sounds like your son. I finally said go to bed. But I also got her one of those crib vibtators. They attach to one of the crib rails and send gentle vibrations throughout the crib. Some of them even come with relaxing sounds. He's also at an age where he can cry it out. It's hard to do but it looks like it coming down to minimal options. Good luck.

Well, I had one who was like that as well. What I had to do was be really consistent with bedtime routine for him. I always read a story, sang 2 songs, then bounced for a set amount of time (like 15 mins) (do whatever your routine is). The first night was the toughest. The second night not much better but I stayed firm and finally he learned that after we had finished our routine, it was done. I will admit I went back in a few times. Now I might pat him but he knows if I have to come in again, I will only say good night and shut the door. If is so hard to do but I think it helps him know what to expect and soothe himself. You know?
Good luck,
T.