Lost with Weaning

This is completely normal. I felt the exact same way. When my daughter weaned herself completely at 14 months, I did some crying for a week or so. I tried to think of it in a positive way and think about all the new things she is learning and doing now that she is so grown up. I was also happy to be wearning cute, normal bras again! It is a bittersweet time. Best of luck!

I know exactly how you feel. I actually had to stop nursing much earlier than I had hoped to. I was so incredibly sad. I cried so much. I talked to a friend about it, who had twins, and had to stop nursing one of them, and though she got to continue with the other twin, she still said it felt like such a loss. It actually felt to me like someone had died. That's how sad I was about it. My husband didn't really understand because he thought that I had nursed our son for 5 months and that that was great... but still it was so hard. It seems like being a mom is about having a million letting goes.. like when they go up a diaper size, or clothing size. I know it sounds silly. We are so happy that they are growing up, but it is still a letting go of sorts. Anyway, the sadness goes away in time. Just let yourself feel it... it will pass. Good luck.

I remember that feeling of "he doesn't need me anymore" when my son started self weening. I had thought I would nurse him till he was at least a year old, and he started biting and pushing me away at 6 months. He took to the bottle no problem, which made me even more sad. Once I got over the idea that he didn't need me, and realized that while he didn't want to nurse anymore, he still needed me for so many other things I was ok. It takes a little while for that sadness to go away, but it does. You should feel proud of yourself for being able to nurse your little girl as long as you did. It is not an easy thing to do and takes tremendous amount of committment. Just know that while it may be coming to an end, you did an amazing job to get the first year of her life started off on the right foot. Good luck!

Those feelings are so normal :) I breastfed my 2 youngest children. My daughter will soon be 11 and my son is 3. I remember those feelings well!!!

For me as I watched them learning things and discovering things for the first time, that awe took over the sad feelings. However, there are times I hold my son and still miss that closeness of breast feeding.

The biggest thing that helped was the feeling of freedom. No more breast pads, wet spots, tenderness, pumping, or any of the other things that go along with it.

It is normal and it will diminish over time. You gave your daughter a wonderful gift by breast feeding.

ahh! I remember that feeling with my son who is almost 3 now! I couldn't wait to wean him then when he started refused, I felt rejected!!! I tried to focus on the next phase of his life and the excitement that will bring as well! As sad as it is to see them get big SO fAST, it is also really exciting! And, of course, it sometimes pays to be a little selfish: your off the hook soon, a little more freedom, I dropped weight quickly when i stopped nursing, etc etc. Sometimes you have to focus on the positives for yourself as well!!!
Godol luck & remember you are still loved and very much needed!!!!

It's the same sad feeling you'll get on your baby's first day of school, at her graduation, and at her wedding but with hormones involved too. I don't remember when it went away for me but it did fade. I just had to keep telling myself that there are different special moments for my son and I to share, and that I should be proud that he's evolving from a little baby into a big boy. I was still sad, but it did get better with time.

J.,
I was never able to nurse but I can somewhat understand what you're going through. My son is 17 months old and I remember when he started grabbing the bottle out of my hands and walking around the room feeding himself. It made me sad b/c I loved how he would play with my hair, or touch my face, and just stare at me when he was taking his bottle. He occassionally will walk up to me with his bottle and want me to give it to him but that's usually when he's tired. However there are so many new ways he shows his affecton towards me that have shown me that all those months of feeding him and bonding with him have paid off. It's so hard and exciting to see them grow up. There are so many things she still depends on you for. When she falls only Mommy can make it better and you will always know how her best and she will always look for you when she feels lonely or even if you're in the other room and she can't see you. My son now knocks on the door when I'm in the bathroom. Just know that you are a wonderful Mother and the best is yet to come. Just wait until she starts to grab your hand and make a mean face and tell you no.

V.

I felt the same when when my sons started weaning. It's like your baby is growing up and there's nothing you can do to stop it. Mine were a bit older and I actually had to make my older son at 2 stop weaning because I was pregnant. I felt really bad about that. My youngest was 18 months and was down to nap and bed and I again had to stop nursing. At first you feel bad but then they start doing all kinds of neat new things and you realize there is still so much you can do together that you start to feel better about it.

J.-
I thought I was going to die of sadness when my daughter stopped nursing. I was soooooooo sad. I think the reason that this is so hard is because we have such an incredible physical bond with these kids from the minute they're born that just gets stronger and stronger as we sit and stare and them and study them while they're nursing. It such an amazing thing to do, so intimate and so completely motherly, and it lasts for such a short time. Once it's done, it's done and there is just no going back to that. It's sad because it's something that we treasure that's lost. I still look back at our weaning with a twinge of sadness(2 1/2 years later) I LOVED nursing (even though I almost had myself talked out of it by the time she was born- my 'girls' are a little unruly at times LOL). I can't remember how long I felt REALLY sad about it, with time, it gets easier- like everything else. Just be gentle with yourself- this is a big part of mommyhood- it deserves gentleness.
Feel better-
C.

Hey, I don't have a whole lot of insightful stuff to say, but I am going through the same thing! My son turns 1 tomorrow, and he also has the same nursing pattern that you descirbed. He is starting to nurse less and less, and it's sad a bit to me. Like where'd my baby go!? I am also a SAHM and he is my only child. So, I can relate to what you're going thru -- so you're not alone!

I think your feelings are perfectly normal. My daughter just weaned as well, although she is much older than yours. I feel a little like you do as well.

Y.

I completely understand your sadness, as many of the other moms have said. I have a 14 month old son and feel the same way. Whenever I am around at naptime and bed time, he wants to nurse, but my husband can put him to sleep also. My worst feeling was when he was sick a little while ago and refused the breast and took a sippy cup instead! I just started to cry! But when he got better, now he prefers the breast again! Although I never thought I would be doing this, I am actually putting him off a little more lately (during the day) because my production decreased drastically when my period started up again and I am sore. So though I am sad, I think it is my body's way of preparing me for the eventuality that it will stop someday (though I hope I still have many months in me). It is so hard to explain to others the closeness it brings! Hold on as long as you can becasue they are growing up so fast!!!

I just wanted to say the sad feeling DOES go away... but I remember it well. I weaned my son at 13 months because I had to go on a medication that I couldn't nurse with. It was just so hard to believe that I was going to go from his sole source of nourishment from 0-6 months to not needed at all! He was a little slow to take to milk too so that scared me... needless to say he is 21 months now and doing great. I guess it's just part of growing up -- for both of us!

My first nursed for 13 months. At the end it was just bedtimes. I was about 5 months pregnant when we stopped so I was sad to give it up with my first baby, but part of me was really feeling wiped out too. Of course that didn't help me emotionally, but she was ready. It had gotten to the point that she was only a little interested and basically nursed at bedtimes because I offered. She didn't go looking on her own and wasn't upset if someone else put her down and didn't have milk. One night I finally got up the courage to not offer and she didn't go looking and that was that. I was definitely sad that that part of our relationship was over, but it was better for my body to get to focus on the pregnancy at that point.

I feel the same way. My daughter will be 14 months on the 23rd and I am still nursing on demand from day one. I have decided to continue b/c she does drink yogurt and juice from her cup and water so once I get back to work full time I will just nurse her before work and after work. It's a very emotional time and I know I will take it harder going back to work full time than she will. Note* I am a single stay at home mom of 2.

M.

I nursed my daughter for 16 months. When she was finally weaned completly I was a sad becuase I missed the little things about nursing. But I realized that she still needed me and it was alright. Even if my body wasn't feeding her anymore we still share closeness and love and always will. You'll get over the nursing thing. :)