I started potty training my 2.5 year old today by offering 2 m&ms for pee and 3 for poop. So far it is going amazingly well with him initiating the bathroom visits and him peeing quite often. He had only 1 accident and it was the 1st pee of the day in the AM so it's really been great. I have a couple of questions though that I'm hoping you seasoned mamas can help me with:
1) How often is he supposed to pee at this age? Right now, he's squirting a little every 5 minutes unless he's engaged in some activity. I think it may be to get more M&Ms? What should I do about this?
2) How long do I do this M&M thing for? And when its time to stop, how do I transition him from getting rewards to getting nothing for his pee and poop?
3) He's going back to pre-school on Jan 3rd (right now its winter break). Anything special I need to tell them so they don't undo what I did?? Do I have them offer M&Ms too??
Thanks!!
A couple of quasi succesful days does not mean he is trained. You are not compeeting at home with all he has going on at school. They can not undo anything. You have not done anything yet. He will have accidents.
Let them help, and try not to be impatient. You have just begun.
I didn't use food with any of mine or incentives other than with my youngest and he didn't really go for them until i found his "power incentive", so I found this:
http://www.pampers.com/en_US/parenting-articles/motivatio...
This is an excerpt:
While offering edible treats—candy, ice cream, chips—can be effective in the short term, many experts warn against using food as a reward. You don’t want your child to begin to look at certain foods (e.g., sweets) as something he receives when he pleases you or does something "good." Kids this age are already asserting control over what goes into their body as well as what leaves it. It’s best to tackle food issues separately, rather than bringing them into the potty training arena.
Sticker books and charts, new big boy underwear, coloring a page out of a coloring book, coloring the water in the potty with food coloring (which will change when he pees in it), a story out of a book, little toys from the dollar store work as incentives. As he gets more proficient stretch it out to where he isn't getting an incentive each time, say he gets one at the end of the day for no accidents or for waking up dry, whatever goal you give him, and work towards stretching it to 10 days with no accidents and he gets to select a new toy and that is the end of the incentives.
Transition him to another incentive this week before school starts back, and decide if he'll be in diapers or underwear at school. Then check and see if they'll give him a sticker or whatever you are using at home (the goal is to NOT give him incentives to go since they catch on to that game easily and will often balk if not given the treat.) Prepare him that he may not get the incentive at school but will need to go anyway.
When i worked in a preschool we didn't do incentives to get them to go potty, they went because they were "big girls and boys," so I would say as far as if pre-school will offer them to him, more than likely not, as how would that be fair to the other children?
I used a treasure box. Not food, but a similar idea. The first two days I made a really big deal about it. Days 3 & 4, I waited for him to ask me. By days 5 & 6 he didn't always think to ask. After a week or more he kind of forgot altogether.
I would see how it goes tomorrow and Friday. You should know by then whether or not you need to make an adjustment Saturday and Sunday to prepare him for the realities of preschool.
Wow, 2 1/2! My youngest will be 3 in March. Hhmmm, guess I should be thinking about what to do with him!
I think this M&M thing is going alittle overboard....just make a chart...after staying dry all day....give him alittle bag of them. I don't think pre-school is gonna go to all this trouble. He will be running to the bathroom all day. I say break the habit now. It's like you're training Fido.
I never used rewards, other than a big "good job!" from Mom. I think I would reduce the times of day that he gets the M&Ms, or just give them for poop. I don't think a daycare is going to use M&Ms. You'll need to talk with them about the methods they use.
Hi Sally,
You've chosen to reward with candy, and your child is meeting your challenge by overly controlling his urine. Yes, you are right, he's absolutely doing this for the M&Ms. I posted earlier on your last question that rewards are fairly problematic; this is one of them.
I'm sending you a link to a great toileting website. Please read this.
http://www.betterkidcare.psu.edu/AngelUnits/OneHour/Toile...
I've used this philosophy and method successfully MANY times. You've got the 'no diapers' thing right, too. If you can stay away from Pull-ups, half the battle is over.
The most important thing, in my opinion, is that *the child* is self-motivated to use the toilet and to stay dry. Keeping him in underpants during the day, so that he experiences being wet when he goes, really helps. Associating getting to the toilet with staying dry is the best 'reward' a child can have.
I'd also say-- please don't be discouraged if your child seems like he isn't really ready on his own yet. Some kids, especially boys, take longer than others. (I'm not saying if he is or isn't ready.. the readiness assessment in the link I sent can help you ascertain that.) That said, what we do know about potty training is that kids who aren't as ready will take longer to learn than kids who are ready. They're just ready when they're ready. I hear universally from mothers that this is the most infuriatingly frustratingly true piece of advice they have ever received. (I actually asked a question on it months ago, about advice received about potty training.) Good luck.
Oh, and in answer to your preschool question: ask the teachers what they would like to do. It can be problematic in some environments to offer kids candy, especially selectively. My preschool had a no candy rule as a whole and I encouraged my families to let nature take its course at school. I'm much happier to help a wet child to change their clothes than I am explaining to other children why only one kid gets treats.
M&Ms I hope he has some enamel left on his teeth after you have trained him.
Candy is a precurser to liquor as both do the same to the liver. After this please try to reward him in other ways. Since you started with M&Ms you will have to cut it back once he is fully trained. After that find stickers, trinkets and whatever he loves to reward him that will save his teeth his digestive tract and insure good eating habits for life.
I kept sugar out of my children's diets and as adults one has one filling and the other has two. They are adults with families of their own now. So my method of saving their teeth has worked.
I did something similar but my son wasn't in preschool so I was the only one who had to deal with it, no teachers or other caregivers. I didn't go M&Ms either... I used lifesavers. One each for either #1 or #2. If he did both, he still got one lifesaver candy. They were the individually wrapped fruit variety bag. So I kept the entire bag in a clear ziploc on the kitchen counter. After success in the bathroom, getting clothes back together and thorough hand washing, we went into the kitchen and he was allowed to choose one candy. The choice was the biggest part of it for him: green? red? purple? etc...
Eventually, after we went through a couple of bags, we had almost an entire bag of lemon ones left (he never chose yellow because he didn't like those). I still offered the bag to let him choose, but he would say no thanks, because he didn't want a yellow one. :) Eventually, he just stopped asking.
I would talk to the daycare/preschool he is enrolled in and ask what they have done with similar situations in the past and if they have any suggestions.
Good luck. I don't think the idea is bad, but I never have been a fan of using M&Ms as the reward. Not sure why. Just something about it being chocolate I guess. :/
m & M's are only for visable "yellow" in the potty. Gotta make that water change color. ;0)
I used M&M's with one of my kids and it worked fine but I didn't give them every few minutes so he is probably going for the candy. Maybe say when you go until nap time or bedtime or some set time. I also used marshmallows with one, miniatures, one child waited until he was completely trained and his reward was when done he could pick a small toy, some did charts with stickers. It depends on the child what works so maybe think of something better for you child. It sounds like he's doing well though so don't discourage him because you can gently wean him from the M&M's. Also if you set the timer every 15-30 min. it will stop some of the frequent going for reward. I would tell the pre-school what you are doing and see if they are willing to give one candy out when he goes. If not that presents a problem but I would think they would do anything to help you with this process. If not, you will have to come up with another way to reward or encourage him. I found with my 8 that the reward, whatever is used, didn't last long and once they got the idea they actually forgot all about it. And to those not liking M&M's I only did it because that child liked them and it was something they would work harder for. I actually don't like the idea of any 'food' type reward if the child will go for stickers, charts or even a small toy. Just my opinion though.
