Mom's Sick

Jen, I too am an unhealthy mom! I have rheumatoid arthritis that is very severe and I've developed allergies to most of the medicines used to treat it. I had this when my youngest was born so she's dealt with it all her life- she's eight now. As a young child, she had to become rather self sufficient- she could work the VCR, get snacks and juice boxes, bring diapers and wipes. It was sad to me, but it was life. she didn't know any different. I'd just try to reassure your little one that you'll be just fine and make the most of the time you feel good. I'm realizing now how much it effects my daughter when I get sick, I'm trying to figure out how to get her to talk about it to me so she doesn't stuff it in. She is a great help with her little sister- 4yo- I think it's ok for her to know not everything will always be done for her and she has to pitch in. Don't worry, she will adjust and become an independent little girl! Another thing is I had a friend who was also sick alot, we would swap kids on our off days. The kids entertained eachother which made it a little easier, and I knew she really understood. If someone offers help- take it. Don't feel bad. You are a wonderful mom who just needs a little help right now- Mommy guilt is not allowed- it will keep you from healing as quickly as you can!! Feel free to keep in touch- I really understand!

Hey I just want to tell you that needing to be cared for does not make you a bad mom! I developed an underactive thyroid when my daughter was born. There were days I had to put her down because I was dangerously tired. It has taken 4 years to get my thyroid to a stable place, though I did feel better shortly after starting treatment. Hang in there, the thyroid controls lots of things in the body. Don't put to many expectations on your self, ask for help, and good luck.

I think in the first place, you need to stop being so hard on yourself. This is NOT a situation you are creating on purpose and at no time have you put your daughter in any danger. A 19 month old will think things like these are an adventure and most likely not remember most of it in a few years. We all go through tough times when we feel like we should be better parents, but just your worrying so much about her shows that your parenting is good! Whenever I have had difficult times in my life with my children, I try and be honest with them without worrying them. She may be a little young, but try and explain to her that, yes, mommy is sick right now, but you are making it better and soon it will be under control. That she has nothing to worry about because you are healing. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism at 20 and have been living with it under control for most of that time. It is difficult at times, though, when you can't control your body's reaction to itself! This situation is temporary and keep reminding yourself of that. You are doing everything in your power to fix it, and you will.

What you said may be true. Kids are very resilient and she may be handling it better than you. Keep your chin up! When it gets under control better, you'll feel better and there will be less visits to anywhere. But in the meantime, keep your head about you and hang on! She'll be ok if you are. My sister had this same problen for a long time. She is now better controlled. But it is a lifelong disease. My sister actually had radioactive iodine and now she is hypothyroid! Good luck to you and your daughter.

Oh my word I know exactly what you are going through!! I was diagnosed with Grave's Disease in August and I am just now feeling like my life is put back together.

My three kids suffered during the worst of it. I was so not able to do all the things they wanted me to. My daughter wanted me to volunteer in her class, and I tried, but I couldn't do anything beyond the bare necessities.

Then I had to go on Prednisone to fix some of the effects of Grave's Disease and it made me so irritable. I have spent the last few weeks now that I am back to "normal" doing extra stuff with the kids and trying to fix whatever damage I may have caused.

My advice...don't stress it. It is a relatively short period time in a child's life. Take care of yourself, then take care of your child. Ask for help, even though it is hard. This too shall pass!

I had hyperthyroidism after the birth of my 1st son so I understand your concern. It takes a while to level off your thyroid (you may end up having hypothyroidism for the rest of your life - like me) and this can be a long and tiring process. First, seek the advice of a specialist(endocrinologist)and only a specialist. Your primary care physician may be wonderful but they are not the experts! Second, follow your doctors advice and remember that you are sick. Take it easy and don't push yourself. Once the doctor finds the right dose of medication, take it faithfully. If you don't fee "right" ask for a blood test to test your thyroid levels. You know your body better than anyone!

Take special time out every day to do something special with your child. Kids are amazingly resilient about visits to the hospital, and understanding illness. Just be a good role model to your child. Teach him/her to eat right and exercise and be healthy. Thyroid problems are very common. Keep networking and learn more from your friends and family.

Be well!

Hi J...While it may seem very stressful to you, as you mention, your daughter is doing ok. My daughter was diagnosed with leukemia when she was 17months old, (more in common in kids with Down Syndrome, which she also has.). My son's were not quite as young as your daughter, 6+7, but had to deal with mom/dad being at the hospital, the long term chemo treatment,IV dressing changes at home etc. I was lucky in that the child life specialists helped out by allowing each boy to express his concern for his sister in their way. My oldest son played a board game focused around people's feelings while my youngest got to "gown up", and use a doll for his patient.My oldest would even help hold her at home while I changed her dressing. Both boys are now in high school and I think more mature because of what they've seen at a young age and fortunately our daughter is now 9 yrs cancer free. Kids are very resiliant...explain in terms she can understand what's going on and allow her to hold your hand, perhaps help out a home with a few simple tasks...I remember my oldest at your daughter's age just getting a clean diaper out for his younger brother. Simple things.
All the Best.

A little about me...
Part time working mom (R.N.of >26yrs). Mother of three, one with special needs.