Mon Seeking Advice About Preschool Separation Anxiety

D.,

I am sorry you have to go thru such a hard time. I have 2 children in school one in kindergarden and the other in preschool, I have seen parents drop off there children and the kids cry and scream and just have an all out tantrum. I never went thru that. The only advise I have is to talk to her when you drop her off so she doesn't think that you are abandoning her and make it quick don't cling on, that will make it worse. But remind her that you will be htere as soon as school is out and that you love her, maybe give her something that is yours and let her keep it thru out the day so she knows she can hug that specific thing if she misses you. I wish you the best and hope that she will learn to love school and that will make you less stressed.

N.

Keep communicating with the preschool teachers/staff to let them know what is going on at home, as well. Something that worked well with my son was getting the names of some other moms from preschool, and having play dates with other children from preschool at our home, as well as theirs. This let my son get to know some of the children one-on-one, which made it easier when he went to school to feel that he had some special friends. He also seemed to do better if we got to preschool earlier, and he had some more time to adjust before I left. It is hard, but it gets easier with time. Kristy

Hi D.,

What happened to the nanny? Maybe you need 1 regular person again. Daycare doesn't offer that very often. Believe me, I worked in a a daycare as a cook/floater for 8 months (and had my own kids there). They would have me in one room one day and another the next, depending on the ratio requirements for that age. It is the ones screaming the loudest that even get any attention. If I remeber right, the ratio for the 2 1/2 would be 10 to 1, so nobody is getting much attention.

Have you thought about home daycare? or babysitter at your house again. Look around your neighborhood, or maybe a friend of yours who is a stay at home mom that you trust.

There are a couple good books that could help, "The Kissing Hand" and "Wemberly Worried." You can probably find them at your local library.

Hi D.,

I taught preschool for two years and spent most of the time as the lead teacher with the two/two and half year old kiddos. My advice to you is to give it a little while. In my experience it takes children, especially little ones who have been home, a little while to adjust. My best guess would be three to four weeks. It will take children who only go part time a little longer to adjust. I know that it must break your heart to know that your child is having so much anxiety, but it is common at this age. If you like the school where she is, and you are comfortable with the teacher and the setting give her the time to adjust to her new school. If things don't change and you are concerned about her health or well-being, I would consider your alternatives. I hope this helps.

I also suggest finding a different placement. Perhaps something where they can be together during the day?

I would make sure she is happy at the actual school. My son was in a daycare last year, and hated it with a passion. I thought it was just day care in general, but we switched him and he was a different child.

Hi D.,

I think you need to switch pre-schools. My daughter went to only one gal for the first 3 years and when we moved and switched her over to a preschool she to had a hard time and we thought it was just due to be different, etc. After deciding to try another school and see if she could adjust or not it only took a week and now she does not want to leave when we pick her up and she is so excited to go in the mornings. I am not sure how long your daughter has gone to this school however there is something about the school that is scaring her and maybe trying a different one would be more of comfort to her.

Hi, D.. It sounds to me like there is something more than just separation anxiety going on. Maybe your daughter doesn't feel safe at the daycare she is attending. I don't want to worry you needlessly, but it's possible that she is being harmed in some way by a teacher or another child.

If possible, I would try a different school or class and see if that helps. If your daughter is able to communicate verbally, you should try to figure out what exactly frightens her so terribly. Generally our kids don't behave like this unless there is a legitimate problem and it may be something simple.

Good luck!