Mother in Law - Medfield,MA

Hi M.,
I feel for you. unfortunately that is the tell tale sign of mother in laws it seems like alot of women cannot stand their in laws. i don't have this problem but i know alot of people that do. i would suggest telling her to stop under mining you and let you raisse your daughter the best way you know how. tell her it hurts your feeling when she does stuff like that and it makes you fell like your not being a good mother. i wouldn't be sarcastic with her. i would just sit her down and calmy talk to her with your honest feeling and tell her if she doen't like it then thats just to bad. you have to do tbis if your husband won't. honesty is the best policy. maybe she will understand where you are coming from and if she doesn't then i don't know what to tell you but hopefully you can get your point acorss to her. good luck.
Kelly

Oooo, this is a tough one. I really haven't experienced this yet, hopefully never will. Sometimes it can be hard to except unwanted advice from others, especially when they go about it in a bossy, no-it-all way, but maybe your "M-I-L" is only responding to your attitude. Remember, she raised a child before, your man, and she just might know what she's talking about. Try not to be defensive and aggitated by just her presense never mind her intrusiveness, and see what happens. She might be the type of person who enjoys getting a rise out of you, as weird as it sounds, maybe it's because of something else that's really bothering her and she's expressing it by annoying you. As far as her taking over, like doing the opposite of what you say, you really need to get Chris to see what it's doing to you and how it is effecting how you interact with your "M-I-L". She's not going anywhere so you need to make it work somehow. He's just going to have to stand up to her and lay down the law, or she might lose out in the end. Remember, Gen is present during all of this and internalizing everything, not good Mommy. Good luck, I don't envy you. Be strong because if you don't nip it now, it will never stop.

How about moving out of state?

Not REALLY kidding, but I guess you'll just have to sit her down over a cup of tea and let it all out. Othewise it will fester and you will blow up at the worst time. Do it NOW. Don't wait. Tell her your the mommy and you want her to take a back seat.

You've GOT TO DO IT!

Hi M.--

This is your husband's job to deal with. You should tell him that. My family went through this too on a different level and it turned it out it was about my husband not wanting to "grow up" to his parents, still wanting their approval. He needs to understand that he's a man and a father and a husband and you are his first priority. You could tell him that if he doesn't stand up for you, you'll definitely see him differently.

If that doesn't work, you're going to have to be the man yourself. Believe me, a few weeks of uncomfortable are better than a lifetime of being disrespected. Just tell her that you know she loves your child and she has the best intentions (even if she doesn't) but you're the mother and you need to decide what happens to your child. Tell her if she can't respect that then you won't be able to spend so much time with them.

Good luck. It won't be fun, but you'll be glad you did it!