My 2 Year Old Daughter Will Not Let Me Put Her down at Night

Put her to bed together. My daughter is 4 now and my husband is a vol. firefighter so we've had a variety of bedtime issues. She has also been dificult when daddy has tried on his own( on the rare occassion i was out past her bedtime).
Its definitely repairable it just takes time and as much consistancy as possible. Try having daddy do some more bedtime things with her like bath, story, teeth brushing my husband even would do 1 cartoon on his lap and watch the whole show with her! Its taken months but now i can even go in my room before the 2 of them and she'll even ask for him to tuck her in. I hope this helps, good luck!

Have you tried doing it with both of you? We had to do that a couple of times for both of my kids...dad would hold and mom would be next to dad, both comforting/talking. After that it was an explanation that 'mommy is busy' or mommy isn't home right now, but she'll come up when she's finished/home.' We encountered some fussing and a couple of long nights, but eventually it worked out.
For a while it was the same way with my husband...I resented that he didn't put the kids to bed more often and give me a break. As they are getting older and understand more, it has gotten better. Now, some days seem like daddy is the only one who can do things and others it's mommy days.

Can you spend some time with her just before she goes down to get her used to cuddling and settling down with you? My almost 2 year old son just started doing this with my hubby. While I read a story to the older boys, he sits with the almost 2 year old and rocks him/cuddles him.

You could have put her to bed every night and she may still have developed this issue, or she may have needed Daddy to do everything and not wanted Mommy to do it.

I travel a lot for work, and while I'm gone my husband says my daughter is "a real cupcake", but there were periods while I was home that she wouldn't let him do ANYTHING for her, and could throw a real tantrum about it. She's almost 6 now and things have been far more balanced for a long time.

I can tell you that it is no fun being the recipient of all the attention and needs, for 1, you feel guilty and you feel bad that your child isn't expressing their love for the other parent, and 2, you get stuck doing everything for them or having a battle, both are exhausting and frustrating.

Mostly, all you can do is wait out the phase. Know that your daughter loves you as much as she loves her mother but for whatever reason she wants mommy to help her. The things you can try, are having you and your wife tell her that the 3 of you are a team, that sometimes mommy will put her to bed, sometimes you will, and you all need to help each other out (this applies to all tasks, but bedtime is one of the toughest). Your wife can take the occasional night off and go out - which might do her good for just mental health as well - but this will probably only improve the situation on the nights she is gone. Hang in there! As hard as it is for you to feel rejected by your daughter, your wife is bearing far more guilt plus the entire burden of her care. Your daughter loves you and will grow out of this phase eventually. If nothing works with the bedtime routine, take on as many of the other tasks as you can, getting her dinner ready, giving her a bath, whatever you can do. It will give you some bonding time with your daughter and it will show your wife you are trying, BUT for the record, there was a period where my daughter would not let my husband do ANY of these things if I was around - I would have to go for a walk or to the store, anything to get a break. Just make sure, if you resort to those, that you and your wife don't tell her "see, you made mommy leave" :)
You didn't do/not do anything that made your daughter behave this way, and you probably are not going to do something that miraculously improves her behavior. You could try coming up with some new activity that only you and your daughter do, "a special daddy-time treat". Just don't feel too rejected if it doesn't always work.

J. -

Good for you for reaching out for help and support on this issue. Like others have said, this is certainly not irreparable, but I understand how upsetting it is for you. You have gotten a lot of good suggestions so far - just a few other thoughts - you would probably do well to develop your own bedtime routine that is a little different from what your wife does. Obviously, routines are important, and you don't want it to be wildly different from what your wife does, but kids can understand that there is one routine with dad and one with mom. Maybe it's singing quiet songs together, looking out the window at the NY skyline (or whatever is out her window!), looking through a family photo album, reading some new library books, etc. Depending on how verbal your daughter is, you can sit down with her and talk about this (but definitely NOT at or right before bedtime). Say you need her help deciding on how to spend your special time together and ask if she has any ideas -- if she can tell you some things she wants to do, she's more likely to go along with it. If she can't come up with ideas herself, offer her 2 or 3 to choose from. Have your wife talk up this special time as something really great, so she is getting very positive messages about it. Maybe you start off doing it at naptime on the weekend (when your wife has gone out) and work up to bedtime. If she does get upset and want your wife, don't tell her not to cry (as hard as it is for you) -- just hold her and rock her and reassure her that she's okay (which is different than "it's okay"... b/c to her, it's not okay!). If she's used to her mom putting her to sleep, it's understandable that she would miss her. Maybe you want to get a picture of her with her mom and keep it nearby in her room, so she can look at it when she is feeling sad. It may not happen overnight, but eventually she will see that having dad put her to sleep is okay, and it can be special with both parents. In addition, by helping her cope with and manage her sadness, you are teaching her an invaluable skill that she will need throughout her life. Good luck, and let us know what happens.

A.

P.S. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth is a good book on sleep and bedtime issues.
http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits-Happy-Child/dp...

My husband works evening and is rarely home at bedtime, therefore I have always been the one to do the bedtime routine. I can tell you that my son is 4.5 and even when his dad is home, insists on "mommy" putting him down. There are very few occassions when he does not fight us on that. Recently since having a new baby in the house, it has gotten slightly better on occassion (when I was nursing and couldn't or was exhausted and taking a 1/2 nap, etc).

Your wife should not resent you for it. I created my situation and it sounds as though you both did nothing to prevent your's. Don't feel guilty, it is not one parent's fault. There are always situations where it doesn't pay to fight with the child and we give in to their demands-this is one of them. It took both of you to get her into this routine, it will take both of you to get her out of it.

It is a routine, and as you probably know, messing up the child's routine often comes with resistence. Try not to take it personally, she still loves you. Find something special like reading her a bedtime book or playing a game that is unique to your relationship like her mom putting her down is. Then one night do a MIX UP night, where she wears miss matched pajamas and mom and dad swap their nightly duties. Make a game out of it, once a week or so and maybe she will start to adjust.

J.,

My husband and I have both put our son to bed and he is almost four years old. As he got older if we are both home we share the process. I get him dressed for bed and then daddy helps him wash his face and hands, and brush his teeth and then he reads him a couple of books. Then I go up and read another book and rub his back for a few minutes.

If one of us is not home at bed time then he is fine with with just one of us putting him to bed. I do have a friend with a child the same age as my son and if she is home her son prefers for her to put her to bed. However, if she is not home he is fine. Sometimes she will sit on the basement stairs so her son thinks that she is not home.

It could also be a stage and soon she will only want you to put her to bed.

Good Luck.

S.

Hi J.,

First I want to let you know that you are not alone. Many children prefer mommy over daddy its perfectly normal behavior. My husband once looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "WHY DO THEY HATE ME"? I was a stay at home mom so my kids were with me 24 -7. The other suggestions were great and I totally agree but I just want to add one more. Try not to just spend the quiet time with her only at bedtime. Why don't you just sit with her at different times of the day and read a story to her, play puzzles on the floor with her, take her to the store with you or the park alone, and make some of your own special moments with her. Give mom a break (it may help with the resentment) take your daughter for ice-cream and tell mom to take a bubble bath while your gone. Once you have established some special times with your daughter and her trust you can incorporate them into your own bedtime routine. Try not to do what your wife is doing make your own routine and hopefully she will respond to that. This will help your daughter to create a special and different bond with you then mommy. I know your heart is broken but this can be fixed by spending alone time with your daughter so she cannot always run to mommy. Mommy also needs to help when she does cry for her she needs to tell her it's daddy's turn and support you instead of giving in. This is not irreparable it is just going to take time. Good luck J. I am sure it will all work out for you!!

Hi J., I am sort of in the same boat (well the opposite) because my son (18 months old) only wants mommy. This is a natural thing for a small child to want mommy. I feel the way your wife does at times (that my husband does not put enough effort into our son) but he does his best. I am the soft parent (even though I never expected to be) which is strange since I am the "controlling" adult in my marriage. I think what I am trying to say is that your wife must have played a part in making your daughter the way she is. I don't think it is your fault just like I can't really blame my husband. We all just want our kids to be happy and healthy. Make your marriage happy and healthy also and whoever puts her to bed now will change along the lines. Most girls grow to adore their daddies and I think that yours will too at some point. Try to enjoy every moment with your special ladies. Help your wife see how you feel.

why don't you & your wife go into her room & put her to sleep together but you do all of the work and your wife just is present. slowly your daughter will not notice the transition because you will ease her into the change.

Hi J.-
I have not read any of the other responses, so I don't know if I am repeating anything (more than likely, not...) First I'd like to tell you that it's not right at all for your wife to resent you. No offense, but often times mothers take more responsibility on themselves to do everything and don't ask for much help. She can't resent you if she hadn't made it known she wanted your help to begin with. It's just not fair. Anyhow, on to the issue.
I recently began having a difficult time putting my son to sleep lately. He doesn't cry out for his father, but daddy has a much easier time than I. How I got him to finally get to sleep was to turn bedtime into play time. Not that you want to make this a habit or anything, but if you can atleast get her more comfortable with the idea of going to sleep with you, you can work on the discipline of it all later.
Take her into bed a little early, bring a couple of books and maybe a stuffed animal or two. Start out by playing a little, then cuddle a little, play, then cuddle. Eventually she will settle down and get tierd, and by this point she should is already be comfortable and happy to be with you. After doing this a couple of times, you can work on getting her to sleep without the extra play time.
It's definitely not a textbook solution by any means, in fact most would probably say it's not recommended or just simply ridiculous. But, it worked for me! My son is barely 1 year, so the discipline isn't the easiest to do, but we sometimes play a little and other times just goes right to sleep. Good luck, and know that nothing is irreparable, as long as you are good to your kids!

My heart breaks for YOU! There is nothing in the world worse then when your child is crying for the other parent. My daughters would go through stages of wanting Mommy only and then Daddy only. The only thing I can suggest is keep pushing through. Maybe come up with something only you and she can do. Like find a special book to read to her, or if she won't lay for a book what about a special song to sing or hum? My husband did that. Kind of to his own tune "Daddy's got, his little girl, holding her close in his arms all night long" and soon she drifted off. Only time will help. But be loving. Very, very loving. She'll do fine! Good luck!!!

Dear J.,

First off: Nothing about this is irreparable. You can fix this.
Second: Your wife needs to back off. I do not mean this as critism, I mean literally. Have her leave the house when it is time to put your daughter to sleep. Or wear really good earplugs. Your daughter is crying for Mommy because she has learned that it works. So take Mom out of the equation.
Thirdly: Take a deep breath, be prepared for lots of yelling, and do not give up. Your daughter is not being harmed in any way, she is simply not getting what she wants, which is Mommy. She will learn that Daddy is different, but just as good. This may take a few nights, but you can do it. Figure out beforehand what you want to do: Bath time? Song to sing? Book to read? A rock in the rocking chair? A favorite blanket? Get your plan in place, then put it in action.
And while I understand that your wife is angry, she might respond to a gentle reminder that it is harder for Dads to develop close relationships with their kids because they start at a disadvantage, and that you would really love her support. Good luck.

Hi J.,
Good for you wanting to put her to bed and hopefully do other things, better late than never. It is not irreparable:-) I am a stay at home mom and do pretty much everything with/for my daughter and am due with our second anyday. My husband has just recently tried to start putting our 2 yr old to bed, naps, change diapers and encourage with potty training, feed, etc. It is hard for us moms to let go even when we want/need the help and because you are doing it differently, not wrong just different. It will take 2 yr old and mommy awhile to adjust to daddy's way and when they do it will be great for everyone. Hang in there and keep trying if not for your own sake for your daughters, she needs to have these expriences with both parents, it really helps make them more rounded and able to handle other things in life that are not all mommy:-)
Maybe try doing something special like a book, song, game that your wife does not do so your daughter will look forward to daddy's turn.

My husband was deployed with the Army for 15 months, and when he came home the little ones didn't even know him well. Of course that meant they were used to me being the one to put them to bed at night, and everything else for that matter. So what he does now is he will carry them upstairs, sometimes both at once, on his shoulders, his back, or just in his arms. Then we are both there to give the hugs and kisses, and say night night. This has helped ease them into him being there at bedtime. Sometimes when he is the only one taking them upstairs they still want me, but usually if I tell hubby it's his turn to take them to bed I can say my goodnights before they go, and that's that. He does silly things like put their blankets over their heads, and they know that's not right, and it's a whole silly process, but works out very well. Good luck. You'll figure it out, and hopefully your wife isn't expecting you to put them to bed every night alone. In some families both parents always put their kids to bed together.

Hi J.:

My husband and I also have a two year-old and have had a similar experience in the past. We worked through it by transitioning him by having both parents put him to bed for a few nights and then just daddy after that. Our son put up a fight but consistency is key; once he realized that no amount of crying is going to bring mommy in, he eventually tired and went to sleep. It is hard on my husband to feel like second fiddle, but I just keep reassuring him that his time will come. There will surely be times as our son gets older when he will prefer daddy and it will be my heart breaking instead. Hang in there -- I hope it gets easier! :)

J.-
try changing up the bedtime routine so that it is something different than what your wife does. something only you and your daughter do. maybe do soem coloring before a book or some other "quiet" activity or sing a song together.. good luck.

Hi J.,

Don't blame yourself. You have done nothing irreparable. Young kids thrive on routine and predictability that's all. Your daughter wants Mommy at bedtime but I'm sure there are other times when she prefers you.

My husband and I are in your shoes right now. Although my husband travels for work, there are long stretches when he's home for days so he's done his share of bedtimes. Despite this, our 19 month old daughter always wants Mommy at bedtime. Since I nursed for 16 months I'm sure she associated me with that comfort of going to sleep close to me. Sadly, Daddy cannot compete with that.

Mealtimes are more about Daddy though. He has this little food bond with her. If she senses he's preparing something to eat, she's attached to his hip. Then she'll crawl up on the chair in their special spot and wait for him to join her. Even at the dinner table, she doesn't want to share with me, only with him. She wants to share Daddy's water, Daddy's fork, Daddy's juice, etc... If I offer mine, she'll say "no" or point to Daddy's. I think she's just making associations and they're not personal. They're also temporary, so we're enjoying them while they last.

Find ways to build little bonds of your own with your daughter and try to let bedtime go for now. Fun bath time games could eventually work into the bedtime routine and allow you to slowly take over, and would give your wife a break in the evening.

Finally, (and this is big) if your wife is not home you will have much greater success! Send her to the gym, mall, grocery store, nail salon, etc... and have Daddy time. Let your daughter rely only on you. My husband, as well as my mother and MIL, have no trouble putting my daughter to sleep if I am away.

Good luck!

I agree, have your wife "leave" or actually go away to a cafe or something! Give her a break! I work 3 nights a week and our daughter will MOST of the time let my husband put her to bed. Sometimes she is still up and waiting for me, but mostly not...It just has to be consistent and relaxed. Don't let her know you are unsure or worried or she will be all over that! She will make you feel bad and you and she will be exhausted. Promise her that when mommy gets back from work, a meeting, etc. she will kiss her when she's sleeping, so in the meantime, let's make mommy proud and be asleep when she gets here!

Definitely not irreparable. And I agree with the others who say that your wife should leave the house, or just pretend to by going to the basement or backyard, or seomthing. Also, try to develop your own special bedtime routine with her, not just try to do things exactly as your wife does, because it will never be exactly the same as mommy, and it shouldn't be! She loves you too, and is only crying for mommy because that's who she's used to putting her down. 2 year olds are very particular when it comes to routines, but with persistences, you can create your own routine with her that you'll both enjoy. Kudos to you for not quitting!

I think the most important thing is to not try to break into the routine right before bed. In other words, send your wife out for the afternoon and spend several hours along with her before the routine starts.

If her mother is around she is going to demand to have her put her to bed, but if she has spent the entire day with you (and mom is not around) she is not going to protest as much.

The transition from person to person is hard for them, so have a really fun day with her alone (send your wife out of the house to have a fun day). Perhaps this is something you could do once a weekend moving forward to start your own daddy time with your daughter and to give your wife a break.

It will help you smooth over both problems. :)

Best of luck!

Not irreparable! Not to worry. I think it's normal, that one parent is the hands on care giver putting the child to bed at night is quite the norm. Children favoring the mother is also obviously quite the norm. It's not fair that your wife blames you, A lot of mothers think they have to do everything because the husbands just dont know what to do or they dont do it right or whatever, they play the martyr, then when that backfires on them they want to blame the dad. So your wife probably shouldn't make you feel like the bad guy because that attitude is only going to make it harder to overcome since of course the child picks up on this. Just expect that she will cry the first few times but just stay calm, and loving and tell her you lover her and you just love spending time with her and you will make bedtime special Daddy time.. Maybe you could try adding something new to the bedtime routine that is just a special Daddy thing. Like if your wife usually reads two stories, you could read two stories and then sing her a song. That little something extra just from you might help her appreciate the time she is spending with you. Good luck!

J., my son is the exact opposite right now. He does not want me, he only wants daddy for bedtime. There was a period he only wanted me. And as an infant I can only say that both my husband and I had our fair share of putting our son to bed, so its not like one didn't contribute and now we have a problem. So don't blame yourself for not having contributed to bedtime in the past and that being the reason for this, b/c its not. Two year olds are TOUGH. They go through phases of favoring one parent over the other for various things. They get used to one parent doing something and then expect that. Your wife probably just feels that by bedtime she needs a break and she's getting frustrated because she can't get one. I felt like that before my son started wanting daddy more...but honestly now I REALLY MISS him wanting me for bedtime. LOL right? Talk to your wife...see why she is blaming you, she just may need you to help in some way, not just this way. See if you two can't work something out so that she is getting relief throughout the day so that she can be the one to put your daughter to bed...maybe you can step in and take over other activities like dinner or bath time or getting ready for bed or the morning routine. This way your wife is getting a break, you are having quality time with your daughter by taking care of her and your daughter is getting the comfort she needs at bed time. Maybe by making those other changes, your daughter will start to feel more comfortable with daddy doing some of the routine and she will eventually make the change and accept that daddy can and will be putting her to bed too. More than likely if you two can work something out like that, then your daughter is going to start favoring you over mommy at times. Two year olds (at least mine anyway) expect parents to do what they do all the time. My son won't even let anyone put him in his chair to eat if I am around, he says NO - mommy do it. B/c he knows that I am normally the one who does it...its the routine...so your daughter knows that mommy is the one to put her to bed BUT that can be changed. Most importantly you and your wife need to work together b/c this CAN be fixed. There was a time too that my son wanted NO PART of daddy and we realized it was because my husband was working long hours at the time and I was doing everything for several weeks. Once my husband got more involved again my son changed - so I'm not sure how things are with you right now as far as your work schedule and time away from your daughter but its something to look at and maybe making some changes all around will help. Your daughter loves you obviously and isn't rejecting your putting her to bed b/c she isn't comforted or doesn't feel safe, its just not the routine she's used to but you can change that. I truly feel that b/c my husband and I both contribute equally in ways, that our son feels equally strong about both of us, but he still has his preference for certain things. He's not just a momma's boy, but he's a daddy's boy too! : )

J.,
Tell your wife to take a weekend away so that you can spend all that time with your daughter and after doing it a few times she will learn that Daddy is just as great as Mommy. Play with her all day, let her lay down with you during the day and good God snuggle her to bits. My daughter was the same way with my husband and it wasn't until I had our son and she had to have Daddy do everything that things changed. I had a c-section and couldn't do things for her like I did before. Now 26 years later she is still a Daddy's Girl, always will be. Now go enjoy your daughter and no matter how much she cries at first continue putting her to bed without your wife around, send her to the store if you have to, just get her out of the house, but trust me a weekend away would be much better for you, your daughter, and yes your wife too.

T.

Hi J.,

Sounds like you have alot of good advice so far. My hubby didn't put my son down for his first few years due to work schedule and the fact that my son was so adament about me putting him down it was easier for him to let it go and yes I was a little bitter that hubby wasn't making what "I" thought was an effort. Then we had a big upheaval in our professional lives and I began all the late hours and hubby was more at home. My son looked at him like he was an alien when he started to try to put him down. Both my hubby and son were very frustrated. So we did step by step. I'd be there in the beginning next to daddy while he got my son ready. I'd say things like you are such a big boy that now mommy needs help from daddy to put you to sleep. Always encouraged them to get that sleep routine down. each time I left the room a little earlier till I wasn't needed at all. Now he is six he and hubby are thick as theives and when I enter a room he still wants to be near me and asks me to put him to sleep on my early nights and all goes on from there. You are a good dad and your daughter will get used to it eventually. Just don't show her your frustration and tell your wife not to get impatient either it takes a little time to adjust to any new routine. Good Luck. A. B

We were in a similar situation, although my son was younger, and my husband found that by establishing his own bedtime routine and not trying to replicate "mine" our son was much more willing.

I was finishing-up my graduate program, so my husband was "in charge" two nights a week. For the first month it was really tough on them both and I would get home at 9:00 and the baby would STILL be awake. Essentially, daddy was doing mommy's routine "wrong". Daddy's routine is very different (includes "wrestling" on the bed before reading a book), but they both work.

Encourage your wife to get involved in something 1-2 nights per week and let you have your time with your daughter, so she isn't tempted to "interrupt". I'm sure she would like to join a book club or go to the gym! I know that when I hear my son cry, I can't keep myself away.

You haven't done anything irreparable. Good luck and have fun!

First J., your wife is right if you'd done it more in the past by now you and your daughter would have your special routine and your daughter would be pushing your wife out of the way to get to daddy for their special bed time routine.

And I know because it happened with me and my husband. Even though he worked long hours as soon as he came home he had her in his arms and always insisted on putting her down for bed. By the time she was two and on a schedule she would lay in bed awake waiting for daddy. Only after she and daddy talked and laughed and sang did she finally fall asleep.

J., children are so flexiable. Send your wife away and begin to think of away to come up with bed time memories with your daughter. Maybe you guys can pray together first, and than read a book ask her about her day. And let her talk. Than put her to bed. Do it again the next day. I bet you after a while she will be pushing mommy aside for daddy - kids go back and fourth.

Your wives resentment will ease and than pass and than she will be so proud of you.

Good Luck.

I give you lots fo credit for reaching out. What if you and your wife tried to do the night time routine together for a few nights and then maybe she can step back gradually each night? Eventually she will probably be comfortable with mommy stepping aside and totally comfortable with you putting her to bed. Kids are creatures of habit...it is just what she's used to. If this suggestion doesnt work, check out the book Good Night Sleep Tight. It helps with ideas and suggestions to deal with sleep issues, sleep crutches and routines. Good luck. It's obvious you are a great dad!

J.,

My husband is in the same situation, and while at first I was resentful, I am not now. I love every moment with my son.

See if you can start being included in the process - even just being in the room. It will take patience on your part.

Don't expect perfection: There will be nights that she will want only Mom. Especially if she is not done teething yet.

All this being said, nothing will make her accept you.

Talk to your wife. Ask her advice. Cold Turkey is not it, and won't work. Write down what she says so you don't forget.

Good luck,
M.

Hi J.,
Sorry to hear you having problems with your little one. My daughters dad has the same problem. He was not here for her first 15 months, now almost 3. Though he has not really tried to put her down, I do encourage them to spend alone time together whenever they can. Stuff like taking her outside to play or ride her bike, or for a walk alone is a big help with them bonding, though he still cannot put her down for bed.
Are you there to put her down for a nap? or have you tried being together when she goes down for bed? Take turns with hugs and kisses, then you lay her down, cover her, and say good night, with mommy standing right there. If you do it together, but you doing most of the contact/talking, it may be easier for her to adjust to you doing alone.
Has your wife asked you to do this before, or has she encouraged your bonding? It will take work and it wont happen in 1 day.
good luck and dont worry, your not doing anything wrong, unless you dont try.

First off...KUDOS to the great Dad's still out there!

Mommies have a certain special bedtime routine for their kids. I'm thinking that's what she wants. Trying to mimic your wife's routine might not work. Make up your own. Sing a silly song and make funny faces. Get her interesting in what you can "bring to the table". Try going in with your wife a few nights a week to lay her down. Let your daughter know you are not going anywhere and she had better get used to it.

Good luck,
Nanc

J.,
i have been where you are... and so has my husband. Over the last 2 years of our daughter's life, she has had her phases where she ONLY wants me or she ONLY wants daddy. It's heartbreaking to be the "unwanted" one, no matter what. But it will change and here is my advice on how....

#1) I was told not to take it personally. Yeah, right! Well, the truth is, you have to not take it personally in front of her. Of course it is upsetting and it hurts, but with her, do your best to remind yourself that it REALLY is not personal. If nothing else, act toward her as though it doesn't phase you. If it causes you stress and anxiety, she will sense it and be that much more uncomfortable with you. So PLUG through. Don't give up! Persistence is key. She WILL get over it.

#2) Be yourself. Don't try to be her mommy. Daddy is a different person. My husband is the funny man and he can make her laugh and she loves him for it. When she went through her stage of not wanting anything to do with me... there was no amount of acting silly that could fool her. I could not get her to laugh like daddy could. She just cried and cried. I had to find who I am as a parent. I am more nurturing and I like to be out and about and do learning activities with her. That is who I am. So, I gave up on the animated silliness and chasing her around the house. Her daddy can do that. She loves me for what she gets from me and she loves him for what she gets from him. So, who are YOU as a parent? If you don't know, start to develop it. Don't assume that she will feel better with you if you emulate mommy. Find your own way.

I guess that's all I have for now. Be yourself and don't give up. It will seem too easy to hand her off to mom and say you just can't do it. But it's not about you. It's about what your daughter needs and she needs her daddy. She may be acting tough to find out if she can trust you to stick it out. Show her over and over again that you will. She will begin to trust you.

good luck!