hi,
I am too worried and want to know if this is normal. My son is very active and naughty. at times he would throw things and if you tell him not to do, he will do it even more purposely, the other day he threw my i phone so i scolded him and also also hit him lightly on his leg. and to my surprise he started slapping him self on the leg and then banging his head on the wall. i got too scared and worried. now every time if i scold him for something he will do the same thing (start slapping him self and then also bang his head on the concrete wall. otherwise he is very active and sharp and also learns fast but he is short tempered. pls advice how should i handle him.
Please stop using physical punishments. He is mimicking you. There are many books about disciplining toddlers. But please stop hitting him.
You write that he learns fast. He is proving that. He is smart enough to imitate you -- so if you slap his legs, or any other part of him, he will do it too.
One day very soon he will slap you, or his dad, or another child, and it will be because he has learned that behavior from you, mom. You will be surprised, upset and hurt when he slaps or hits you, but it will be because he has learned that this kind of touch is permitted. What you do is what he believes is OK.
Do not use slaps, taps, spanking, hits or any other physical punishment. It will only teach him that it's OK to hit.
Please go to the library today and get some good books on child development and discipline. Discipline is not the same thing as punishment. Slapping him does not teach him to stop throwing things. For a child his age, you need to say a very firm "no" and remove instantly all items that he could throw, or pick him up (gently) and remove him from whatever he's throwing. Then you immediately distract him with something else to do! Hitting him has nothing at all to do with his behavior of throwing things and does not teach him that if he throws, he loses the items around him. Look for some books with plans for positive discipline that includes redirecting a young child.
well, for starters, stop hitting him.
he needs to be calmed down when he gets wound up, not excited further. you may need to wrap him in your arms and hold him snugly to prevent him from hurting himself.
use short, simple words and phrases. and if you want him to use words not hitting hands to cope with frustrations, model that behavior for him.
khairete
S.
Well obviously one way you should NOT handle him is by slapping him on the leg.
You should stop thinking of your 2 year old son as "naughty." You need to stop scolding him and focus on positive discipline.
Positive discipline means essentially that you mostly ignore the negative behavior and reward positive behavior with praise and attention.
He's only two. Stop all the scolding and ramp up the loving.
I would find a non-physical way to discipline him for infractions. It seems he does not respond well, and if he goes to hitting himself, and you don't want that, then don't hit him, either. Consider books like 123 Magic, and Love and Logic for tips.
Get the book 1-2-3 Magic and take a Parenting with Love and Logic class so you can get the information you need to move from punishment and frustration to good discipline.
Toddlers do these things so keep your iphone and other electronic gadgets in safe places where he can't get to them.
If he breaks something, it's not his fault so much as it's your fault for not putting it in a safe place and taking care of YOUR toys.
Give him a toy phone to play with.
It's a lot easier to tell him what he CAN do than it is to tell him what he CAN'T do.
Tell a human being what he can't do and it's on his mind and he'll try it just to see what will happen.
Tell him what he can do and he'll forget about what you want him to stop doing.
Moms have to get creative with diverting from undesirable behavior.
Stop with the slapping.
Instead of solving a problem (stopping him from doing something) it's BECOMING a problem - you don't want him hitting himself, you or anyone else.
But it's a common problem.
Babies strike out but they are too weak for it to hurt, but as they get stronger (as toddlers or older), it's not so cute anymore and they have to learn to be gentle.
If he likes to throw, get him a nerf ball - it can't hurt anything.
Any other ball he'll have to play with outside.
Sure he'll need time outs sometimes (never longer than his age in minutes, so a 2 yr old gets a 2 min timeout), but sometimes YOU'LL need a timeout to calm down - toddlers can really push our buttons sometimes.
I remember one time our son was about 3 and I'd been feeling growing exasperation all morning.
In the afternoon I'd about had it and I said "Nap time!" and child says "I'm not tired' (He'd been pulling in the opposite direction all day long).
I said "Fine. But I meant for me. I'M taking a nap. If you can be quiet, you can lay down with me.".
He never liked being in any other room if I wasn't in it, so he came with me and laid down for MY nap time.
Before I knew it we were both sleeping - and we BOTH felt much better once we woke up.
Hang in there!
From what you wrote, it sounds like this was the first time you have done something like this to discipline him, but if not, I would suggest that it might not be the most effective way for your child to be disciplined.
I will tell you this, I had an angel for my first child. He never did ANYTHING naughty...he just smiled a lot and sat nicely. So when my second came along, I expected much of the same. I was SO wrong. My second was exactly like yours - very active, very aggressive, and stubborn. He has loved to throw things since he was a baby and we really struggled to stop him. I don't know how old your son is, but mine was out of control (although we really tried!) until around 3, when he was old enough for me to really make Time Outs effective and I would do things like throw out some of his Halloween candy when he misbehaved etc. The key is to really find what they love...and take it away when they misbehave. BUT, if your child is really young, you might just have to keep things out of his reach and, while it is exhausting, stay on top of him as much as you can.
I would 100% stop the physical discipline (I know its tough sometimes when you are so frustrated and you just want to shock them enough to stop the behavior!) and work towards finding the things that he loves and taking them away (TV, chocolate etc.) Then work on a positive reinforcement technique like a sticker chart, pennies (my son loves getting pennies to put in his piggy bank, so when he does something without being asked or behaves really well, we will give him one or two), etc.
Best of luck to you!!
Aw...poor little guy....and Yes, you should be concerned, and it is normal IF he is used to be scolded or slapped or hit ; he is responding to your reaction and form of punishment.
A nicer and firmer way to teach your kid, would work wonders instead of using a more aggressive way or harsh way to let him know what is wrong.
Kids learn very young and they learn more from what you do than what you say, you are modeling a behavior for him, and he is reacting.
I am a believer that loving guidance, repetition, short and clear instructions, and respect for our children are the best teaching tool for long lasting results, particularly at this young age.
A.
Hi, S.:
How did your son's behavior get to the point of throwing your phone?
You need to look at what is the trigger that makes your son snap.
For example:
He is playing or doing something.
There is an interaction between you and him. What is that interaction?
What causes you to scold him?
Do you and his father have quarrels in his presence?
It would help to understand more about what is happening in your communication with your child.
Just want to know.
D.
he is slapping himself and banging his head to make you feel guilty for swatting him. you stop swatting him for misbehaviour and the misbehaviour will get worse..not better. ok, he threw your phone, he did it to see if he could get away with doing it, he got swatted for throwing your phone, then when he discovered he couldnt attempt to destroy your phone and get away with it, he decided the best way to make you feel guilty about it was to hurt himself..what do you do? simple, the next time he misbehaves, swat him and put a toy of his out of reach, he will fuss and pout, but, he will then focus on getting to the toy that has been put out of his reach, rather then hurting himself because he got swatted for misbehaviour.sounds strange but that is apparently how a two year olds mind works, you givethem something else to focus on...K. h.
