Seeking Advice for a 33 Month Old That Hits.

M.,
If that had been my daughter your son had hit and pushed I can assure you I would have said something to him. You should have addressed the situation right then and there. Who cares who is around. You need to teach him how to express himself with words not hitting. Part of his problem, is his age but an almost 3 year old should have some verbal communication skills. He hits in part because he can't fully express what he wants. He also seems to do it just because he can.

Every child goes through a hitting stage, some more than others, and there was a time when my daughter was around your sons age that she would hit me when I put her in the car seat. And she can hit hard. But when it happened she got punished. Sometimes she made me so mad I couldn't say anything. Sometimes the silent treatment is worse than an actual punishment. Staying calm in a situation will help keep it from escalating but a problem needs to be address when it happens.

Talk to your childs doctor, take a parenting class, read parenting magazines, look up info on the internet about how to handle tantrums. All can help you deal with the situation better.

Your little one may be testing you in public knowing that mommy won't discipline him in front of other and thinks he can get away with it. Do not be afraid to discipline him for those kind of actions in front of people. I think that there is too many parents afraid of being turned in for disciplining their children in public. My DD has punished my grandson in public and has gotten many rave reviews from folks for not allowing him to get away in public what she would not allow him to do at home. When you have different standards at different locations the child begins to pick this up and misbehaves when out in public.

As for the hitting I would try some rewards at home if he does not come home with a bad report of hitting in school. Maybe giving him some of his favorite candy or an ice cream. They come to realize soon that they have to change their behavior to be rewarded. Make a big thing of his good behavior and make sure to tell him how proud you are of him. Also make sure he is not rough housing it at home because then he thinks it is o.k. to do it at school.

Best of Luck,
Kathy

my advice, side track him in a positive way and when he hits time out. general rule of thumb 1 min. per year he is. sometimes the best way to change things is ignore tem. imagine they run around with a 5 gallon bucket that needs to be filled up with attention they don't care if its positive or negative as long as they get it. ignore the head banging he'll stop if it hurts. don't make a big deal outta small boo boo's. that one is hard i learned this the hard way :P enforce time out and it don't start till he is silent. corners for me work far better none of my children like the corner and thus they try very hard to stay out of it. mostly its an age related thing you have to teach is a no no.

Talk to him about how it feels to be hit, and tell him that hitting hurts other people and makes them sad, and sometimes afraid. Ask him why he hits. I.E. did he want the toy the other child had, etc. Give him tools to use if he is angry. Tell him to use his words if he is angry or upset, or needs something. Be consistant.

Hi M.:
The only advice that I can throw your way is this...first of all when he has his little tantrums by banging his head on the floor....ignore it. He will stop when he sees that he is not "getting you". As far as the hitting goes...it is a stage that some kids go through. But discipline is a big thing in stopping it for sure. I am a big believer in time outs....as for the slapping....same thing...when he does negative behavior put him in Time out....You need to also tell your mother that she needs to let you set t he ground rules with your son and she needs to follow them as well. Just remember when he slaps or hits...dont do it back. It is hard for them to understand that you tell them not to do it but than you yourself does it. Good luck....I hope some of this is helpful. Keep me posted.