Trouble Getting My Toddler to Stop Hittng.

When I went thru this with my daughter I asked the dr. about it and he said that she did it because she couldnt talk real well yet and it was her way of getting her point across. Well when ever she would hit someone I would grab her (not rough) and tell her that she hurting the other person and giving them a "boo boo" It took a lil while but she calmed down a little bit she still hits sometimes but it is ususally when her siblings pick on her . As for the screaming I would just talk to her like she wasnt crying saying things like " im sorry your mad but that is how things are . why dont we go play" and take her with me . Just takes some paitience and you'll make it!! Hope this helps

E.,
One of the biggest things that you can do when your child hits is to remove him from the situation and ignore him. This could mean putting him in a playpen or his room for just a minute (one minute for each year of age). This gives him the chance to realize that what he did is not going to get him what he wants. I am a teacher of this age group and I will be the first to tell you, IT IS NOT EASY! I also have a toddler at home (she is in my class for the next 6-7 months too). In working with children in my class, I have found that if they hit me or anyone else, it is usually because they have not learned the words to express themselves. We always tell them that it is okay to be mad, but that their hands are not for hurting. One thing to remember (and it is hard to), always be positive when speaking to him...most kids, when they hear negative words (no, don't...ect) will just continue to do it and ignore what they have been told.

An example of this...I had a friends baby over for a little while to play with my daughter. This child (17 months old) hits when she does not get her way. She was here and wanted a toy that belongs to my older children. I wouldn't let her have it because it had small parts that could hurt her. She hit me once, I warned her that if she did it again she was going to time out. When she did it again, I picked her up and made her sit with her back to me telling her that "our hands are not for hitting" and went back to what I was doing. With her it only took one time! It hurt her feelings that I did not let her continue to do what she wanted. I didn't expect her to sit for very long, but as soon as she realized that I wasn't going to tolerate her hitting me, she stopped crying (which was because I removed her from in front of me), and went back to playing.

I wish you luck with this! Have patience and remember be positive with him.

giving him a time out might be effective, also taking away tv priviledge may work, you might also have to resort to spanking if other corrective behavior does not stop the hitting. When he hits he needs to be punished immediately and whatever you decide to do you need to be consistent with it. Also instruct him that it is inappropriate to hit other people at any time and he is going to be punished for hitting. Just remember consistency is the most important thing to changing behavior.

Hi E.,

I have two different suggestions -- one worked on each of my boys (now 5 and 3 1/2). The first one, I would pretend to cry (like it hurt). After a few times, he stopped. The second one, that didn't work with. So, I would get on his level -- face to face -- hold the wrist of the hand he hit me with (not too tight, but tight enough that he knew he couldn't get away), and say "DO NOT HIT!" What ever words you use, use the same words every time. He is more head-strong, so it took a little longer, but whatever you do, be consistant.

Good luck!!

Whatever you do, please do not hit your son when he hits someone! This will not help him learn anything. You need to tell him no when he does things he's not supposed to, and to be consistent. You will have to tell him no over and over till he gets it. Let him know hitting hurts. Time outs can be effective, but again, you have to be consistent and do it every time, and make him stay in the time out. If you give a warning, follow through. Kids will scream when they don't get their own way, this doesn't mean you have to give in! But choose your battles. If what he wants to do is clearly dangerous or unhealthy, don't give in. But if he is curious about something, or wants to go outside and you're saying no because you just don't feel like it, then maybe rethink your answer. Choose your battles, and make sure you say yes sometimes!

E.,

I had the same problem with my oldest son. What I found to work best was original flavored listerene. Take a childs toothbrush and dip it in the bottle and then rub it on his tongue. I use it still on my kids now 9 and 7, for whenever they say things that they shouldnt be saying, talking back you name it. It works.

Kim

COPY HIM!!! EVERYTHING HE DOES , YOU DO IT, EVERYTHING HE SAYS YOU SAY IT IF HE HITS AT YOU , YOU HIT AT HIM. THAT WORKED OUT SO WELL WITH BOTH OF MY KIDS THAT THEY STOPPED AFTER A FEW TIMES!!! I'D SCREAM AND YELL AND HIT AND KICK JUST AS HARD AND LOUD AS THEY DID!! AND ONCE THEY REALIZED THAT THEY LOOKED LIKE COMPLETE IDIOTS THEY'D QUIT~~GOOD LUCK!!T.

Repetitive time out is the only thing that worked with my son's tantrums, now almost 4. I would simply pick him up, tell him in as calm yet firm of a tone that I could muster, "No sir. That is not the way we behave. You are in time out. You must stay in time out until you are ready to be nice and behave." Then I would place him in his room and close the door.

At first he would come out, but I would just repeat the procedure. Be ready for kicking of the door and screaming. Once, early on, I had to hold the door closed for a few minutes until he gave up trying to open it. After the fit was over, my son would come out and sniffle. I would ask if he was ready to be nice and he would nod or mumble something and then everything was okay...till the next tantrum. A good snuggle and an affirmation that mommy loves him and wants him to be a nice boy after the time out helped to bring closure to the situation.

whatever you decide to do, be consistent. Use the same reaction every time, no matter how many times it takes because kids learn through repetition.

Good luck!