My 6 Year Old Is Disrespectful and Rude to everyone-Especially His Family

Hey A.,

If you've gone out of your way to keep communication open with your son about his feelings, you're a huge step closer to a good resolution. But don't forget, you're the parent in the situation. Don't let him forget that, either. That doesn't necessarily mean you have get nasty with him, but firmly keeping the boundaries in line will help during times of change, particularly with new family members added into the mix.

Being firm, but lovingly keeping the existing boundaries in tact will help him through this time. Kids act up when something is bothering them. Many times they aren't able to put their finger on exactly what the heck is bothering them or aren't able to vocalize it, but something is just kind of "off".

It may just take him a little time to work through his feelings before he's ready to share them with you. Making sure to keep those communication lines open will help him feel like he can approach you when he's ready. Sometimes just recognizing when he's ready is the toughest part.

Oh, and ALL kids are ecstatic when they're being bought something or getting to do whatever they want. That's totally normal! =)

Good luck, A.!
~W.

I would try the soft approach first with bending down in a quiet room & talking to him as each situation approaches. After that I would use the harder approach and that would be taking away something he likes alot for a day or so and reminding him how much you love him always. And when he says hes mad and doesn't like you (which is normal) just tell him how much you love him and you love him even when hes mad, naughty or otherwise.

Try it. May work.. Good luck with everything.

Kimberly

You must not let him be rude! It is still in your control and soon it will not be. My seven year old has 'tried out' being rude and disrespectful many times. He is immedialtely told that the behavior is unacceptable and we keep piling on consequesnces until he stops. At three he had his favorite video thrown in the trash. He was good for about a year after that. He is not allow to watch TV shows where kids are rude. (Almost all TV except PBS) At six good consequesnces are being sent to his room and losing toys and priveledges. We don't buy our 7 year old any toys except for Christmas and birthday. He is given the opportunity to earn money by doing chores and then he can buy his own (appropriate) toys.

The plain truth is that if you don't allow rude behavior it won't happen. You are feeling guilty and letting him get away with too much. You have to stop everything from an eyeroll (with a mild 'that was rude, please apologize) to outright disrespect.

Hey A., I am very sorry that this is happing to you, but it is going to be ok. I have a 9 yr old boy that also seemed to fit that discription. Just a little bit about how I handled it, Try and stay calm. That was and still is my biggest upper hand. If you notice that you little boy is probably very smart and has figured out how to read and understand personalities of everyone around him. Boys have a tendancy to be very demanding at a young age and mine matured around 6 or 7. Partly because of having an older boy by a year in the neighborhood that set an example that immature behavior was not cool. Patience is key. Just keep explaining that that kind of behavior is unacceptable and stick to a punishment consistently and that seems to be the only thing that worked for us. I hate to tell you this, but the problems only vary and you just have to be consistant throughout their life. My son turns ten this christmas and backtalking has been the latest challenge for the last few years. Reward good behavior and a child like to hear praise, they usually act out for attention at a young age. I also married a man that was not my sons father and he is very good with our son. Male bonding is important, a boy needs his dad, whoever that is and the male role model is good. Try to get your husband involved, not in physical disipline, but verbal communication. Boys need to communicate with another man and it has worked wonders for his self esteem and behavior. Good luck.

He may or may not be having issues with the new marriage. Honestly that's not relevent here. Things in our lives change, and yes you need to be sensitive to his feelings, but change is something we have to deal with. He needs to understand, without any confusion, that everyone is to be respected and treated fairly. No exceptions. Rudeness is not tolerated, ever. Make sure he understands that if he is ever upset about something and wants to talk about it you are there for him, always. Whenever my kids speak to me inappropriately (by being rude or throwing a fit) I simply turn to them and say that I can't talk to them until they speak to me nicely. The first few times it takes a bit for them to get the idea, but after that their attitude changes in seconds.