My Baby Won't Nap Easily

good luck! i had the same exact problem-my daughter would not take naps! just the cat naps you are talking about! i tried every method and NOTHING worked!!! my daughter is now 9 months and since she's been 6 months she started napping. i just really paid attention to her moods, she would start getting cranky and i would try. before 6 months she never got cranky. now she naps from 11-1 and from 4-530. i've been lucky so far-she sleeps with a 6inx6in giraffe blanket now i just give that to her, she will go to her side and go to sleep. when she first started napping, when she got fussy i would go downstairs rock her or breastfeed her then put her in her crib. now she goes to sleep without any of that!! it was VERY difficult for me but she just eventually put herself in her own schedule. (she wakes up at 830-9, naps 11-1, naps 4-530 then to bed at 830)

Hi C.:
You've received some great responses here. I especially enjoyed the one from SH. I don't have much to add,however,as a mother and Grandmother,let me simply say,that there is not any one set way,to care for your child.Every baby is different.Their genetics,their personality,are a mirrored image of you and their father combined.They will possess familiar traits of you,and those of their father,but they have their own special identity. A blanket approach,in treating each and every child exactly the same,would almost appear we're attempting to dictate what their personalities SHOULD be,when in reality,we should be permitting these children to spread their wings and be that individual they were intended to be..or yearn to be.If you have plans to have another baby,that child will be completely different than your first. He or she will have different needs.Lets put it this way. It would be much like treating a thousand patients all with different ailments,with the exact medication,at the same dose.Your son is a special little person,so you treat him (special) At 3 months old,when he cries ,he needs to feel you are there for him.This is the only way he has to let you know when he needs you.Even if its as simple as he wants to feel that closeness with you.Use your motherly instincts.You,better than anyone in his life, know his different cries,his needs.If hes sleeping good at night,hes doing well.If hes restless at nap time,as SH said,it sounds like he may be (over tired) try to better recognize when he is getting tired. Fussy,or rubbing his eyes.That way,you get him down before he gets over tired. I wish you and your (special boy) the very best.J. M.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
Here's a great link for you, from Dr. Sears, per sleep problems in babies.

I would make sure, about HOW the Daycare puts babies to nap?
Do THEY let them cry it out? Do they comfort the baby? Do they pick them up if there is crying?
YOU as the Mom, should find out, and inform them that you do NOT want them to cry it out. Yes, for a young 3 month old baby... you should not do this.

Next, for his daytime naps... try and make everything dark, quiet, and calm. Do not do anything hectic or busy or too stimulating prior to his nap. For my kids for example, it takes me about 1/2 hour just to wind-down/calm them down for naps. This is called our 'pre-nap' routine.

BUT for a baby only 3 months old.. they can't just be trained or scheduled for naps, much less be regular about it.
For my kids, for example, it was not until about 6 months old that I introduced real regularity and routine to their naps. But, prior to that when they were younger, I KNEW when they were tired and needed a nap. I cued into them and them sleepy cues. I did not wait until they were 'over-tired' to then put them to nap. Over tired babies/children actually have a harder time to sleep and wake more.

Next, at 3 months old, they are changing developmentally and the awareness of their surroundings too, and it is a "growth-spurt" time where they need extra intake and get hungrier... which is in tandem with their changing development. THIS does put a kink into their sleep ability. It's normal. But not easy for the parent.

At this age though... they typically get tired after about 2-3 hours of 'awake' time. So look for your baby's sleep cues as well. ie: rubbing eyes, yawning, fist-ed hands, fussiness etc.

How many times a day do you try and get him to nap?
Being that he is only napping for 20-40 minutes.. he is probably still tired even after he wakes. This is a real short cat nap only... not a deep slumber which is restorative. Probably.

Each baby is different though.

Lots of babies hate being transferred to a crib after falling asleep and they do like just being in their parents arms. So its a hard transition... it will take time.. .maybe not until he is much older.... like at about 6+ months old.

Make sure you give him a good feeding before nap, burp him, change diaper, make everything calm. Maybe use some 'white noise" in the room for naps. (we put on a fan on low, when my son goes to nap. He likes it). Make the room nice and dark.

Also, a baby does not necessarily know how to self-soothe. Some do it no problem, others don't. My daughter was more high-needs we had to rock her & hold her etc., but my son just self-soothes on his own. Each baby is different!

there is no real 'formula' to this... but the link above is great and it will give you ideas and suggestions.

I don't know.. there is no one way... all Moms do things in various ways. Just some ideas on my part.
Good luck,
Susan

most babies are like this..i wish i had had the kind of bassinet that rocks on it's own..i used to put my son in the stroller and push him back and forth on the porch facing a wall..so he had nothing interesting to look at ..sometimes i would do this for 30 minutes..til he dozed off..then i would wheel him into his room..which is blackened out w/ black out curtains and i have soothing sound machines going..man those days were rough..i didn't do cry it out til he was 9 months..but wished i had done it at 6 months..don't do it before 6 months..
The thing is ..they don't know how to fall asleep..that's why it's so important to nap them at the same exact times every day..and have a routine so their little bodies get used to sleeping at those times..
my son dropped to 2 naps at 6 months and down to 1 at 11 months..he is 3 now..and i think b/c i stuck w/ sleep training so hard that he is a great sleeper now.
still naps ..but now he wants to nap out of the crib..i kept him in the crib til he was 3. U should get "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" if u don't have that book already..it really helped..
i think the first 3.5 months are the toughest! so you're almost out of that zone..it does get easier..good luck.

At three months he is still in what is called the 4th trimester. It takes a while to get used to being out of the uterus and hey, can you blame them? Try using sound, like white noise or heartbeat sounds and vibration. They can't self sooth yet and need that feeling.

You have just described my exact problem as well! If I put him down he wakes up in 5 mins. At night I can put him down for 4-6 hours. At least he has his days and nights figured out. Thanks for posting, I can't wait to see what people suggest.

My name is kim and i have a 1yr old and believe it or not but i had the same problem at that age. I found that by swaddling him he would sleep anywhere. Swaddleing makes the baby feel more secure like holding them and like the carseat or swing does. Try it and let me know how it works.

Many moms will disagree with me but I started my daughter from day one sleeping "independently". We would cuddle her and calm her before nap time but we put her down and DID NOT hold her or rock her to sleep. We had been down that road with our son and it was a disaster. She would fuss and if she cried hard we went in and picked her up, comforted her and put her back down. She has been an independent sleeper since almost day one. Even now at 18 months sometimes she cries at bed time but she settles down and goes to sleep. She is not neglected or deprived. She is loving and sweet so it has not affected her sense of parental love. At 3 months of course the crying period is much shorter that if the baby was older. You have to listen to the cry and pay attention. Consistency works. The Baby Whisperer is an excellent book and is written by a women who absolutely loves babies and loves moms so it is not harsh but she does stress consistency and routine (NOT STRICT SCHEDULING).

Others may disagree with me but independent sleep habits are necessary especially as children get older and when teething hits. Tired babies are definitely not happy babies. With all that said, please don't get me wrong. I feel for you. My son who is older than my daughter and my first had colic and developed many bad sleep habits during the worst of it. Breaking the habits was tough and involved not only his tears but mine also. Good luck and trust your instincts as a mom. No one can really tell you how to handle it. It is a lot of trial and error.

"healthy sleep habits, happy child" Best thing that ever happened to me! Ethan would not sleep anywhere other than my arms for longer than 30 min. Once we got on the program (around 4 months) things changed immediately. He is now 6.5mo. and sleeping 1-2.5 hours each nap. This was very important to my sanity!
J.

Check out Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth. It is a great resource.
Also, I believe that 3 months is too young to let the child cry it out, Have you tried swaddling?

You might be surprised at how good daycare workers can be in putting babies to sleep. Maybe if you hang in there for another month, then send your child to daycare and let them put her on a nap schedule. She might adjust really well.

when my daughter was 11 months old, i sent her to daycare and she was able to sleep in their crib within 2 weeks. prior to that, i would have to put her to sleep on top of me, then put her in her room with the air purifier on. but once she got to daycare, she slept with other babies, noise and everything.

sounds completely normal. My little guy took a couple of naps a day...I don't think they convert to OUR schedule too easily. Good luck.

He must have a tummy ache or must have to burp of something. ALso if they are held too much they wont sleep unless you hold them. I learned that with my first and my 3rd you can just lay him down and he will go to bed. Maybe get one of those things that sing and light up that you put on the crib maybe that will sooth him to sleep.

Have you tried swaddling? That's what they're used to from the womb.

C. B.

A friend of mine had much the same problem, she is also a psychology major. Children at your son's age are beginning to realize their abilities to move about, even rolling over is a big deal for baby's. He will wear himself out if you let him play, or explore. His need for naps will vary from time-to-time until he gets used to his new mobility and his curiosity has been settled. Allow him to crawl around, turn over and play with simple toys when you put him down for his nap, he will become used to the fact that the time you put him in his crib for a nap, he will settle down and put himself to sleep eventually. Keep the nap schedule, don't deviate from this schedule. This will become routine soon enough. Remember, each new ability or should I say mobility your son learns he will be more likely to explore more and more. Be sure to baby-proof your house. He may begin to get into more than you knew he would. He may even find things you didn't know you had. Please remember using the television to keep his attention is not a good thing either, limit the tv time to one hour. good luck, next comes teething, this will keep him from sleeping too.

Oh my... I had to respond as soon as I read Susan H.'s response to you. How awful. I think it is incredibly crucial to comfort your baby and soothe your baby when they need it.

Your baby will grow to be independent when they learn that you will be there for them. I have NEVER ONCE let my baby girl (now 2 yrs old) CIO and I have ALWAYS gone to her when she needed me - no matter how small the cry and she is a great sleeper and SUPER HAPPY. She hugs her friends all the time and she LOVES her baby brother (3 months old). SHE KNOWS her mommy and daddy will always be there for her. She doesn't even have separation anxiety - never did.

We now also have a 3 1/2 month old and I am repeating my cycle of comforting my baby when he needs me. Answering his cry no matter what. Babies cry because they are in need.. and at 3 months your baby IS WAY TOO YOUNG to "just cry". I wouldn't worry about daycare and your baby sleeping there - they deal with this everyday (but I agree that you should ask how they do it - and absolutely tell them you are against CIO!) Dr. Sears has some GREAT advice!!! Check out his website www.askdrsears.com . I would listen to your mommy instinct to soothe your baby. You know him best. Love him. Rock him to sleep. Let him sleep in your arms. Those are such precious moments that you won't get back the older he gets... I promise you. I try to hold my daughter when she sleeps and she just wants to lay in her bed. She reaches out to kiss me and goes to her bed. You'll miss these cuddly days so take advantage of your sweet baby boy! Cuddle all you can!!!! :) You WON'T BE SORRY!!!

Please also remember that your baby boy is growing everyday more and more... and his little brain is working very hard at developing. This will keep him up. He is also pretty young to have a SET routine, but you can begin to see that he will be falling asleep around the same time. If you are breastfeeding, note the times and let him fall asleep. Maybe try putting him in a swing or chair to sleep during the day... He just may want to be closer to his mommy. :-) Can you blame him!??!??!

Congratulations to you on your baby boy!!!!

A few questions to consider:
-When you put him down for a nap is he overtired, or just starting to show sleep signs (you can usually tell... maybe a yawn, rubbing eyes, starting to be a bit fussy)?
-Sleep environment: dark room, sound spa, do you swaddle him?
-When do you feed?
-How long does he sleep at night? Do you put him down awake or asleep? What is your routine at nighttime? (Just trying to figure out if he is soothing himself at night or if you are.)

He needs to learn how to soothe himself to sleep- between 3 and 5 months is a good time to start- learning is going to produce crying usually, but coordinating this with when he is ready for sleep and not overtired is helpful.

Sleeping on the go is really ok for the first 3-4 months, sometimes longer if necessary and he can take good naps (20-40 minutes is not a good nap).

If you aren't swaddling I would try that. I would also think about feeding schedule. It would be good if he is on some sort of nap schedule when he goes to daycare.

He should not be awake for more than 1-2 hours at a time at this age. Maybe a bit longer before nighttime sleep. And in the next month or so you will see morning awake time extend a bit to 9ish and then that will be the "morning nap time".

Check out this post for more details: http://www.lullabyluna.com/2008/12/happy-new-year.html

Sorry for the scattering of thoughts- hope some of it helps.

C., sleep consultant, sleep blog writer www.lullabyluna.com, mother of 3