My Child Is a Hugger

What a little sweetheart she is!

What I really recommend is that you ask her, several times a day, "Can I give you a hug" and "Would you like a hug?" Hug her as much as you always do, but not unsolicited.

At her age, the power of an example outweighs the power of explaining by about a million pounds. If you keep asking her before a hug, she'll start doing the same within a week.

Awww. She and my 3.5 year old son would get along great. He is a hugger too! I sometimes see him at preschool hug his friends... sometimes they hug back, sometimes they just stand there and get hugged and sometimes they push him away. It makes me sad when I see him get pushed away, but I just keep it light and say something like "Jane does not feel like being hugged right now. That is her choice. Maybe next time". And he accepts that. I think he has started to learn that sometimes others dont want to be hugged. I have told him that he should ask his "friends" at school before he hugs them, and sometimes he does.
Guess what I am trying to say is that she will get there. Just keep talking about it from time to time. Dont make it a big deal, just look for opportunities to work it into natural conversation. Will she go to preschool before kindergarten? If so, a lot of this stuff will get worked out while the kids are young enough that they are not real nasty to each other yet (on purpose anyway - like as in making fun of each other).
She sounds like a sweet girl. That is wonderful. Just plant the seeds now that everyone does not always want to be hugged and that does not mean they dont like her. She will get used to the idea eventually. For now, just enjoy it :0)

Just keep working on it.
Before she sees her friends 'Be sure and ask them if them if they want a hug before you hug.'

Another thing to do is to talk about the 'bubble' of space around each of us, and that everyone wants some space.

And practice at home... tell her "let's practice asking" and mix up your responses. Sometimes "yes", let her hug, sometimes "no thanks" and offer a hand. If you want to make it less personal, use four or five stuffed animals-- let her ask *them* "do you want a hug/can I give you a hug" and then you be their voice. Always remember to say "let's practice" so that she knows that she's not being rejected, she's just learning something new.

Start teaching her that Hugs are for family including aunts grandparents, cousins, and really close friends

My DD is a hugger, too, and when she interacts with other people, I just try to remind her to hug nicely (no dragging people around) and not hug people if they really don't want one. I'd rather just teach her time and place and respecting personal space than try to keep her from hugging altogether.

FWIW, my SD is exuberant and huggy and has learned to figure out when and who she can hug and when she can't. I'm not really worried. And I wouldn't even say "blame". You love her and show it. Nothing wrong with it.

Jsut tell her to only hug family. My son went to school with a 'hugger' and it was very odd and off-putting to the kids. The worst part though was this kid would hug adults all the time too. HE finallyl stopped doing it in second grade after the parents realized how innapropriate it had begun and not at all cute anymore.

It's never easy to see your kiddo rebuffed, but I think she'll take her cue from you. I liked what Melanie said. Just keep it light and don't allow your emotion or defensiveness to show. Is she in any other social setting where you could walk her through this? Church nursery? Play dates? Maybe deliberately put her in the situation so you can be there to see it play out and help her process it if rejection comes.

She sounds like a sweetie!!

Asking permission is a good way to go about it as well as discussing who is okay to hug etc. My son has sensory issues and LOVES to be hugged as a resutl - they just have to learn boundaries.

She is definetly old enough to understand boundaries and personal space. We are very affectionate with my son but he knows that that not everyone likes to hug. You are smart to think of that now and explain clear guidelines about who to hug and when to hug. Not only will her feelings be hurt but also children might be annoyed with her and not want to be her friend if she continues to touch other children when they might not wish to be so affectionate. You and your family can continue to shower her with love...no harm in that!

She will be fine.
Most kids are sensitive, and there will be other kids too who like to hug or not.
She will be fine.
She will not get traumatized by the non-huggers or non-affectionate kids.
Just teach her... that some people like to hug, and some don't... and it is nothing personal. Teach her that everyone, is different.
My kids' Preschool Teachers, taught the kids that. And we taught our kids that too, when younger.
We also taught them that, they cannot "make" someone hug them if they don't want to. You can't make or force someone to do what they don't want to do.

She will also learn, that there is a time and a place for hugging. And its okay.

She is young.
But she will learn and be fine.

As she gets older, she will learn social "cues" better. She is young still.

Mallory P. and Sandy L. below have good points.

All the kids at my children's daycare hug. Sometimes it takes forever to get out the door at the end of the day as my son hugs each child, a couple twice, before we leave. Its a hug fest!

I don't think you really need to say anything to her unless it becomes an issue. If she hugs another toddler and the other kid doesnt like it - they will tell her. She'll probably shrug it off, but if she ever seems upset, then talk about it.

Another parent was laughing because my son gave her daughter such an enthusiastic and long hug/kiss that she shoved him away and said, "yuck."

My son never mentioned it...

We just told my son to ask before hugging. He was fine. Your daughter will be fine too.

You and hubby MAY be to blame, but mostly I think this is a little girl thing. My GD used to hug everyone! Even when she started kindergarten. She and her friends would hug every single morning! After kindergarten they just kind of grew out of it!

I try to tell my GD about "personal space." She doesn't always respect people's personal space, but we're still working on it.

Yours is not the only one! My DD, now 6, always has been, and still is a hugger. Like, it gets to the point of annoying even with my husband and I (she will hug us at inopportune times...just got out of the shower or while cooking dinner). We are constantly reminding her to be considerate of other people, telling her to ask for hugs, and to not be so strong (she is a BEAR hugger, lol). She survived kindergarten, and although she probably had a few times where kids backed away from her because of her over-friendliness, it doesn't seem to affect her at all!

Lol. She sounds like my 2yo DD... She actually followed one kid around the park for a couple of minutes with her arms out wide trying to give him a hug. (His mom and I were sitting near each other laughing our butts off...) After a minute, I got up and told her "If he doesn't want a hug, you should just play without one." ... then she gave him one of her toy dinosaurs and they chased each other around for the next 15 minutes. lol.