"Say Thank You and Hug Everyone Goodbye"

Just change it to "say Thank You and goodbye". They may not notice the change, but it'll be there so the have that implied permission that they don't have to hug everyone.

My daughters never stopped hugging people. I don't think this is a parent guided decision it is a personal choice of what they are comfortable with.

My boys hit their teen years and found they much prefer hand shakes. :)

Let them stop when they are ready if they ever are ready.

You actually make them hug their friends' parents? I would feel a bit awkward if my GD's friends hugged me when they left.

I would just tell them to say "thank you" and forget about the hugs.

FYI - lice can be spread that way; little girls putting their heads together when they hug. I prefer "personal space."

You're right to be thoughtful about this. As kids get older they often feel awkward about giving hugs to people unless the recipients are close friends (adult or child). I'd just work to stop yourself after you tell them "Say thank you." It's very likely that they will go ahead and give hugs anyway for most if not all folks. But kids really do grow to dislike feeling forced to hug or kiss if they are not inclined to initiate it on their own, and by the tween years, that reaction really gets going.

You may get posts encouraging you to keep them hugging but I'd say, let them start to take the lead now. They are at ages where contact like that should be their choice. If they're naturally pretty affectionate they'll keep hugging but don't let it throw you or upset you the first time one of them doesn't do it to some family friend you've been visiting. As long as the kids leave politely, that is what counts.

I would just let them now follow their natural feelings and reactions. No prompts.

No need to say anything to them except, girls, it is time to go, please remember to say good bye and thank you to everyone.

Just edit yourself.
You don't really even need to talk to your kids, but just drop the "and hug everybody" part of your "let's go" statement. Kids will naturally default to what they are comfortable with.

Just say "ok, time to go tell everyone goodbye" and they will do what feels right to them. :)

"Say thank you and goodbye."

Children shouldn't ever be forced to hug (or kiss) others in greeting or goodbye even as habit. It may be "cute" but it's impolite and invades personal space. It also puts the other person in a position of having to decide how to refuse or be forced to accept.

I have 3 girls, and I don't ever want them to lose providence over their own bodies. In addition, one of them has Autism and Sensory Integration Disorder and for her, hugs and kisses can be torturous. She has her own special greetings and we've learned how to adjust our greetings so that it's clear others need to ask permission to touch her. As it should be.

My son is 16.
When he was little he hugged everyone - hello, goodbye, family, friends - I tried to limit the stranger hugging. LOL

He still hugs hello and goodbye - but he is more selective about it. His best friend, another 16 year old boy, and he hug each other hello and goodbye.

At some point I began to let him decide who he was going to hug. "Thank you" stayed, but I gave him control over the hugs.

Let it come naturally - don't tell them to hug so-and-so - if they want to, they will. I think at 7 & 8 they will begin to taper off. But, girls are usually more huggie than boys.

Well, I just don't agree with the practice. (I'm not trying to be rude!!)

When I worked for a children's advocacy center, we were required to take certain classes. One, was how to protect children in realistic ways. (Meaning, empowering our children, because we can't protect them all the time.) One thing that we learned, is we should never expect or force any kind of physical touch. It should always be a conscience choice and initiated solely out of want by the child. Hugging, kissing, sitting on laps, any kind of affection, should not be an expectation. If they don't know they can say no (or they've just never been able to, or if they've been expected to hug,) then they will revert to old behaviors...which can easily be manipulated. I'm not saying kids who are told to hug, get abused more, of course. We just learned that expectations of physical affection are not healthy for children, and it makes sense. (To me, at least!)

Wow...that turned long. Basically, I would just sit with them and tell them they don't have to hug anyone they don't want to. If they are uncomfortable, it's their body and they get to choose who they'd like to hug. They are expected to be kind, say goodbye, and acknowledge...but, hugging is no longer an expectation. I think making a child to hug, is disrespectful to their person and body...even if it's trying to show respect to others. They know how to show respect, so just make that the expectation. Hugging is always an option, of course :) Just not expected or required.

I think a conversation with them is on order so that they know that they now have your "permission" NOT to hug, if they choose. Kids continually try to please their parents, and obviously this became a rule in your household while the kids were still very young. They may feel as though you will be mad or disappointed if they don't hug. They need to know that is not the case.
I personally would never require my kids to hug anyone. Its not fair to force that physical touch when you don't know how your kids will react to that. I would not have given it one thought before I had a child with Asperger's, but now, my opinion and knowledge on the subject has changed considerably.

Gggeeeezzzz R. you scared me I thought you were leaving us.

Kids hit a point in life where they really need their personal space and don't want as often. They outgrow this and will start to hug again. Leave it up to them. As long as they say thank you and good-bye it's all good.

You've already received alot of great advice.

Nothing to add, I just wanted to say how happy I am to see you back! :) You have been missed!

Welcome back, sweetie.

How about "Say thank you and wave bye bye"?
Some people are natural huggers.
And if it comes naturally, you are never too old.
My son still hugs me and Dad and he's 13.

I wouldn't force the hugging part. The only people I make my kids hug are their Grandparents. Everyone else, hugs optional. If no hug, then a wave or a high-five/fist pump.

I have never told my boys to do that because they don't want to hug anyone and I don't want to force that. I do have them say goodbye.
L.

I've never told my kids to hug anyone. If they've felt like hugging someone, they can. If they don't want to they don't have to.

I would just tell them something like "Hey guys, if you don't want to hug people when we leave their house, you don't have to." Just make it light and kind of in passing. Then they know that if there is ever someone they don't feel comfortable hugging they don't have to.

ETA: I'm a hugger. I hug everyone! Heck, I met a friend's wife and when she left that night (it was a huge BBQ) she gave me a hug. I found out later that she was a huge hugger too. She had seen me hugging everyone as they left my house, and when I hugged her husband, she figured I was comfortable enough around her to give her a hug too, so she went for it.

Hmmmmm.....interesting question!
I think girls will hug longer (age wise) than boys.
My 9 year old is not much for hugging goodbye now & pretty much has to be tackled by his grandmothers for a hug OR kiss.

I think what I started doing was to say "Say thank you & tell everyone goodbye" that way he could decide whether to hug or not.

If it helps, I'm 32 and I still give all of my family hugs goodbye. :)

I would tell them to "say thank you and good bye" and if they hug, that's fine. They may not but saying good bye to hosts is polite. Some people are huggy and some are not.

I don't request that my kids hug anybody. If it's family & close friends, they just do. But anybody else, they usually don't hug, and I don't ask them to.

i'm so torn on this from personal experience
My brother stopped hugging people when he was 7ish (he started up again around 12, and I felt to awkward to), and I was 5, I followed his lead to be "cool" and REFUSED to hug relatives and everyone after until I was 16ish. The thing is I wanted to probably a few years later but I J. felt from years of being so anti hugging it was awkward to start again. People would comment "jen doesnt hug" before I had a chance and it went on like that for years.
Also I think most kids no matter how anti hugging they say they are actually like it but feel pressured into squeeling "dont hug meeeeeee"

So my stance is
With relatives and close friends I will continue to tell Emmy hug and say thank you and goodbye" and if she resists thats on her, but I will encourage it and if it becomes so crazy that she refuses to hug her grandparents and aunts and uncles ,when in the presence of family and not friends I will have a talk with her about feelings and how if she asked them for a hug and they said no how would she feel.
I feel its respectful to hug your relatives.
All zillion of my relatives give a kiss on the cheek and hug when we meet and part each time. Emmy isnt a hugger by nature (with people other than a select group--with those people he won't get off of us=) ) but thats one quality I'm fine with not being overly aware of and still encouraging her too. In my opinion a forced hug never hurt any kid, maybe made them a little awkward but not hugging ever for years made M. crave phsical attention too much late in life

BTW I still teach her personal space I think kids are smart enough to know the diference between a hug with a relative or friend and a bad touch

We have a few single guy friends, we made sure our daughter said "good night" but we made sure to prompt her to ask if she could hug them first (as soon as she could speak).

One guy is super OK with the hugs, the other is a less "touchy" sort. You should have seen his face the first time we had a post bath nude baby escape. She ran right to him and plastered her soggy self on him. Or the time she informed him that her booty itched...that non-existing verbal filter in children is so "cute".

try to remember to say "go say your goodbyes" instead. then they can go say goodbye which should be enforced but in their own way that is comfortable to them.

I agree with Bug. I actually don't make my toddler hug or kiss anyone he doesn't want to. I usually will ask with certain people, "You want to give him/her a hug/kiss?" If he doesn't, I say okay and keep it moving. I have an uncle who gets offended by it because he thinks that children are supposed to do what their parents want, period, because they are in charge. I want him to give them the once-over from afar every time he sees them, until he feels like he wants them in his space, which he does.

Now, you didn't ask me to go into the past, did you? You've already started the practice, and you want to know how to deal with it from this point. I wonder if you can just ask them how they feel about it. "Hey, you know how I taught you to hug everybody? Do you like that?" And go from there.

Why do you need to to break the habit? Is it harmful?
I often hug my friends and and always my family when I say good-bye. I'm a hugger. :)