My Daughter's Hard Headed

Honey, your daughter is 2, end of story! That's just the way 2 and 3 year olds act and it is MADDENING, I know. A lot of children also react differently to daddy- whether because they don't spend as much time with him or his deeper voice, or whatever. You can't let it make you crazy!

All you can do is be patient! Seriously, now is when you have to reach deep into your mother-well of patience and love that you didn't even know you had!! Remember that this little girl is learning how to react and interact with the world and you are her world right now. How you behave and react is going to set the stage for her behavior for the rest of her life.

That said, you can't let a toddler run your whole house either. You just need to keep gently and firmly correcting her, over and over . Re enforce GOOD behavior with positive things- rewards or special time with you, etc. You just have to be consistent. Try using a timer set to just a couple of minutes for certain activities.

If she does something you DON'T want her to do- have something else you DO want her to do set up and ready and re-direct her. If you have to leave her in a pack and play for 5 minutes to get some laundry or something, do it. YOU set the rules- just try to set things up so they are rules that are realistic for a 2 year old to follow.

Remember, at this age, it is less about being 'bad' or defying your authority, and more about learning what reactions she provokes based on what she does. I know it can be frustrating, but remember, she can't really control her emotions or actions yet in a lot of ways- you are the grown-up, so you have to control yours. Your little girl loves you- but she will make you crazy for a while with the 2s and 3s, so just be prepared for it!

Don't be dismayed , your daughter is only 2 she is a baby treat her as such. Set a schedule for her activities, have her fun time and educational time. Just be consistent in what you do. How did your mother handle you as a child , if she was a good mother and what she did didn't hurt you do the same. I used some of my moms teachings and threw the other out the window, my parenets did a good job I am a very productive citizen. Take some early childhood development classes, that can show you different cognitive methods and also tell you at what age to incorporate different techniques. Read stories to her , take her to story time at the library, get her socially involved with other kids with you with her, don't let her go to quick. Spend quality time as muuch as you can because when you leave the hospital after birth the nurses don't give a manuel on how to raise a child ,this all comes with motherly instincts and if you need some help , going back to what I said early on, take up some early childhood development classes. You will be fine,don't worry so much. Check out what the dad is doing and mimic him, since she listens to him.

I'm going through the same thing. My daughter will be 2 on Saturday and she is something else. I'm a SAHM and my husband works during the day. When he tells her something she listens right away, but when it's me she just does what she wants to do. I've decided that no matter how tired I am or what I'm doing (I also have a 2 month old) when she does not listen there has to be a consequence, and it has to happen right away. Right now time out seems to work. She does not like to sit still. I have a little, red plastic chair that I put her in for 2 minutes. While she is sitting, I squat down and talk to her. I just let her know that she can not behave the way that she was, and I tell her what I expect her to do. Now it's gotten to the point that when she is about to do something I can just say her name and she will stop.

She has been trained not to listen to you and she knows she doesn't need to. She needs consequences that are meaningful to her.

If you do not obey mom, you will go to your crib. (take out the fun things in there). Do it. Since she is hard headed and trained, it will take time. Get your game plan, clear your schedule, and make a retraining day of it. It's pay now or pay later. She will be a much happier, healthier child once she knows that you are the boss and she is not. Children need the security of boundaries they are sure of. She will test you - but really wants you to show her the way.

Being a mom is a full time all creative intense job of raising these little ones to be mature, responsible, kind, respectful adults. It happens day by day, year by year - starting today.

You can do it!

E.

She's not "hard headed", she's 2! ;-P
My son was worse at 3 than at 2, so prepare yourself...
When her father speaks, does he do so in a firm tone? Baby talk? Low voice? What is it about him that you think makes her take notice? Try to mimic it.
I think sometimes kids tune out their mothers because ALL day, they are telling the kids what to do and what not to do....try a more conversational approach maybe? Good luck!

Actions speak louder than words. Back up your words. If you say no more tv, turn off the tv. If you say no more candy then no more candy and put her out of the kitchen. She's 2, she will test you continuosly until she is out of the house.