My Friends 3 1/2 Year Old Son Not Wanting to Go to the Potty!

OK! I felt that my son was scared to poop on the potty. So I sat in there with him to make him feel as comfortable as possible (I understand if you don't have that much time). We tried several of times before he actually went. When he finally did~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~what a party we had! Reward good behavior with whatever he LOVES! Make a huge deal out of pooping in the potty. Even after he has pooped several of times in the potty still reward him. Another thing I did which it was summer time~~I let him go w/o underwear so he could easily remember that he had nothing on to catch the pee or poop. C. H

Hi W.,
This is my first response. My son was 3 1/2 years old when completely potty trained. He would go for the teacher at school, but not all the time for me. Some children have resistance. I used resistance training. You tell the child were the potty is and they know how to go potty. Its their responsibility to go when they need to. The parent doesn't ask or tell the child to go. This gives the child control. My favorite helper was the Once Upon a Potty DVD for boys, I got it from toys r us. It is an animation of a little boy that goes from diapers to underwear. The potty song is cute, my son liked to watch and sing it. It was a huge success and made him very proud to go potty. I hope this helps. Also, ditch pull ups let them feel wet and nasty. buy cheap underwear incase you have to toss them.

My friend just ad te same problem with her3 1/2 year old not wanting to potty train either inless then 2 weeks he know goes on his own. when you go to the bathroom take her with you make a game out of it and reward her with her favorite treat the first few times then with lots of praise everytime limit treat.... lots of fluids and lots of potty breaks for her at first ten se will get te idea and start going on er own bot my 5 year old and my 4 year were potty trained by the time they were 28 months old my son te oldest was potty trained but his 2nd birthday done correctly its fool proof some take alil loner then others but every child is different it has worked for every parent i have told it to wth in about 3 weeks there child was trained good luck

just remember lots of fluids take lots of potty breaks and take her wit you when you go children learn by seeing and doing ave another potty chair infront of the big toilet make a game of it and youll have er trained in no time :)

I haven't read the other responses, so you may have heard this already, but what worked well for my friend's 4-year-old was to have him help clean up his "accidents". Every time he pooped in his pants, his mom would make him stop what he was doing, take him into the bathroom, and have him dump the poop from the training pants into the potty and then flush. Afterward, she'd clean him up, put new clothes on him, and let him go play. It took about a week for him to decide that going in the potty was easier and faster than doing his part to clean up the messes in his pants.

Some children need quiet and calm to poop in the potty. Some hide, some wait until nap time, etc. My second and third children both wouldn't poop on the potty. I gave them Fleet Glycerine Suppositories when it was time that they would usually have an accident (often just before nap time)a few times (one to three times was all it took) and sat them on the potty. Always, within 1 to 5 minutes they would go. Once they experienced "success" and realized that nothing bad would happen, they were fine with going on the potty. One child was particularly obsessed with looking at it and watching it flush. That didn't last too long.(Whatever works!) As for the other training, if she really wants the child to be trained, she just needs to be consistent. Use real underwear, not diapers or pullups and set aside a couple of days to consistently take him to the potty until he can do it more independently. Some children respond well to praise (including silly songs and dancing around for the success) and others can be bribed with sticker charts or other methods of working towards a prize. You have to discover your child's "currency" it varies from child to child.

If she REALLY is committed to getting him trained, she should read the book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Azrin and Foxx. Don't let the title throw you off; it really is a great system and works wonderfully. However, one has to be committed to the preparation and to following through during the training day.
Hope it goes well!

My daughter wasn't interested in going to the potty until I purchased a miniture seat that fits on top (in the center)of an adult toilet seat. For some reason it made her feel like a big girl and she instantly started going and never looked back.

I suggest checking out Dr. John Rosemond's web site: http://www.rosemond.com. He has an article about potty training resistant children: http://rosemond.com/index.php?action=website-view&Web....

He's syndicated in a lot of papers too. You might check yours. I really find his advice useful.

Good luck to you and your friend.

My son did the same thing. I told him in no uncertain terms that when he turned 4, he HAD to go in the potty. There would be no more diapers, and I would not be changing him. The day after his birthday party (which was still one day before his actual birthday), he announced that he was not going to wear diapers anymore because he was 4. Unbelievably, he never had an accident - not even at night.

One thing to be aware of is that boys typically need to go to the bathroom more often than girls because of the way their bodies are made. My son would go so frequently, there was no way I could force him to get out of diapers until I knew he was physically ready. Once he could stay dry for a few hours, I knew he was ready to take on the responsibility.

This may sound bad to some, but I think by his age he can potty and just doesn't want to. I would sit him on his potty and not let him up until he used it, if it was time for him to go. I actually spanked (two taps on the butt) a little kid once for doing the same thing and she started using the potty. This really may not be the best advice, but it worked.

People stressing over kids potty training drives me crazy. I want to punch people in the nose when they ask me why my almost 3yr old isn't potty trained or when they tell me HOW to potty train my kids, or when people tell me that my kids should be potty trained by now. (Nothing against you at all, I know you're just getting advice for a friend that WANTS it, I'm just blowing off a little of my own steam).
It's actually normal for kids (especially boys) to potty train between 3 & 4. I have 4 kids. My 1st 2 pretty much potty trained themselves when they were 3. I showed them what to do, then I let them figure it out and start doing it when they were ready. My first started to potty train at 16mths, but it was too much trouble for me, so I just let him go when he'd ask every now and then, but never tried to do anything with it. When he was 3 (his brother did too), they pretty much just started doing it. I never worried about it. Having 2 kids in diapers really isn't a big deal like people think it is. If you're going to change 1, might as well change 2. It sure is a heck of a lot more convenient actually, than having to take a small child to the bathroom every 30mins to an hour because they're constantly having to go potty while you're trying to rest or nurse a newborn baby. I had a baby in June, and while every one of my friends were stressing out over potty training their 2yr old children (mine was 2 also), I was actually telling my kid to use his diaper. They always hounded me and never understood why I wasn't stressing too. Constantly having to put a kid on the potty, standing over him and waiting for him to poop, especially, and then having to wipe him or helping him to tinkle in the potty every time get VERY tiring. It's too much trouble for me when I'm very pregnant or dealing with a newborn. Most kids, sometime between 3 and 4 (some earlier, some a little later), will figure it out and decide all on their own that they're big enough and read to do it and will start doing it. All they'll need are gentle reminders every so often for awhile. But, keep in mind, the younger they are, the smaller they are, and the more HELP they need. To me, it's much easier to change a diaper in my convenience a few times a day than to constantly be in the bathroom (the younger the child, the more often you're going to the bathroom with them, and the more help they need to reach to potty) helping my kid to poop or potty. I also HATE the little kiddie potties, and thankfully, my kids do for the most part, too. They're a pain to keep clean, and I'd rather change a diaper! When they're older, they can use the bigger potties on their own, they can wipe themselves after being taught a few times, they can wait longer to have to go, and they don't constantly tell you every few minutes that they have to go even if they don't (which WILL happen).
Now, I go out with all of my friends and their kids (or see them at church), including my niece and SIL, and they're always rolling their eyes or complaining about how they're constantly having to take their now 3yr olds to the bathroom, and I just smile because I don't have to deal with it. My son has just started to show interest in wanting to go. He tinkles in the potty (started it ALL on his own) quite often, but hardly ever poops). But, now that my baby is almost 8mths old, and I'm at a point in my life where I have a little more time to take care of his pottying needs, I'll remind him and help him along, but I'm definitely not going to stress over it. They'll do it in their own time, when they're ready. They'll also do it quite often when parents stress over it and force them into it with lots and lots of work, but most of the time it's not so much them going potty when they need to, but going TO the potty all day long and USING the potty several times throughout the day.

Just tell her to be careful what she wishes for. If she really pushes this potty training thing because she doesn't want to change 2 diapers, she might be regretting it and realizing how much easier changing 2 diapers is compared to dealing with a 3yr old that is potty training and is potty trained.

If he's ready (like it might seem he is with your post), Here's a trick I used with my 1st. Set a timer for every 30mins - 1hr (depending on the kid's pottying needs and blatter). Tell the boy that he has to go to the potty every time the timer sounds. The next day, make the timer for every 45mins - 1hr, and continue with this for several days if needed. I only had to do it for 2 days, and on the 3rd day, he was going 30 secs before the timer rang every time. (It was really funny, actually). He was ready, but he just needing reminding. This also worked with my 2nd son when he was showing that he was definitely ready to start going potty. Now that my 3rd son is ready, I'll be doing the same thing with him this week, actually. With the pooping thing, I tried stickers, candy and cookies, but it was all a waste of money, time and energy. They just do it when they're ready. Hopefully, he'll poop when he's on the potty already to tinkle during one or two of those times. Then, just sing praises (cookies and candy would be okay to do at this time, but it can backfire a lot w/ the 3yr old begging to poop all of the time just to get a candy or cookie and not having to poop then getting upset because he doesn't get the treat).

Tell her GL with her son AND baby!

K.
Mom of 4, 3 boys (almost 3, 4, & 5) and 1 girl (almost 8mths)

If I were her, I wouldn't push it. I would put pull ups on him and keep telling him that he can put big boy pants on if he would go to the potty. Make sure he sees her go to the potty and that she tells him what she is doing.... whether she calls it poop or business or number 2....whatever she calls it. REWARD BIG TIME if he does it in the potty and has no accidents. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER punish for it,but let him know that you are not happy with that.
That is all that I know to do. Hope it helps

Sadly, I have to agree with Meg. My son (4 now) was 3 months away from being 3 and I was fighting and fighting with him to go to the potty. He spent the day with a friend (about 6 hours) and came home trained. It was summer and they were outside a lot. His friend was potty trained so he went when his friend had to go. It was great. He was in underwear for good after that.
Good Luck!
A. K

The honest truth is... with my son (now 4), he had NO interest whatsoever in potty. I sent him to my parents' house for a week and he was trained. What'd they do different you might ask..... they live on 10 acres of land in the middle of nowhere... they turned him loose outside, in the summertime... naked.

Once they did that for about 2 days, they spent the rest of the week getting him to go inside. It was like he was finally aware of where things were coming from.

Maybe a little bit too redneck of an approach for your friend, but it worked for mine! Thank God!

I encouraged mine with buying big boy undies of his favorite cartoon...cars, scooby Doo. I told mine that they didn't get to wear big boy undies unless they potty like a big boy. They are also able the feel the cold when they wet them unlike the pull-ups. They usually don't like this. I have also encouraged mine with a reward everytime they potty. I don't like to push candy, but I bought a package of smarties and would give them a few pieces everytime they used the potty like a big boy. This didn't end up giving much sugar after it was all said and done. I have 5 boys and they all have been potty trained by 2 1/2. Well, the last one is 2 1/2 and he is just now showing interest, but I usually only spend 1-2 days with them (constantly changing undies from wetting) and they are broke from #1. It usually takes a little longer wih #2. I have also let them go outside a use #1 in the back yard, I know this sounds stickish..but boys love to pee outside!!! LOL ( even big ones!!)
I hope this helps, Angie