Potty Training Child #1 and Expecting #2 - Dallas,TX

Yes, wait. He's telling you that he is not ready. Our son was potty trained right around his 3rd birthday. 3 seems to be a pretty average age.....

It sounds like your little guy may not quite be ready yet. And with a new sibling imminent (congratulations!), regression is common even among thoroughly-trained children.

There's great deal of information at this site: readiness checklists, and the science/research on various approaches to potty training: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

While I have seen pretty much universal, quick success with allowing the child to lead the process when he's ready, it appears that starting at different ages, from infancy on, can work – depending on the child, your lifestyle, dedication, and intentions. There are also warnings about what can go wrong to help you avoid common emotional pitfalls. Follow the internal links for a wealth of information!

Congrats on the new little one!! Well we were in the same boat with our first son, wanting to train him when I was big and prego...didn't work out too well... Once I had the baby he was having none of being trained. So I just let him stay in diapers. I talked to my pediatrician about it and he said it was totally normal and to give it like six months before training him. That is exactly what worked out. I had some cute character underwear and told him that whenever he was ready to go potty he would be able to wear it. I just left it out in a place her could see it, but didn't pressure him about it. When he was ready I just used this thick cloth training underwear and he
was trained in three days and never looked back. If it were me I would just hold off until the stress of adding a new family member had passed,children aren't too good w deadlines and if he feels your concern it may be adding pressure so I would just hold off. Good luck!

Here is the best advice I can give you. I potty trained two, a boy & a girl. Girl was my first & I was lost & learning, so it took so much longer. I started training her around 2-2.5 & she was day trained by 3 & night trained by 3.5. Son was next & he started around 18 months and was completely trained by 2-2.5. First thing to know is that the child already knows how to potty & doesn't really need any training. They are just transitioning from diaper to potty. I know you read this and think, I'm not stupid, I know that already, but the key point is that if the chhild doesn't need training then guess who does? YOU. The process will take however long for you to be trained!! The training is to make you more aware of your surroundings and time passing and to be able to read your child. As a newborn, it took a few days/weeks for you to learn what each different cry or sound or face meant. Same for this. Once you give the child the opportunity to use the potty more than the diaper, then they will be trained. I learned this the hard way. At home we had accidents like crazy, but when I went out shopping & errand running, None. Turns out the difference wasn't them, but me. At home I was more lax and wasn't really worried if they had an accident cause i could clean them & had plenty of clothes to change them into etc.. When we were out & about, I took them into the bathroom at each store, "just in case" and then if I knew I was going somewhere that didn't have a bathroom, I would take them again before we left the store. OR if we were in the store about 45 minutes of longer, then I would take them before we left, "just in case" So I realized that out & about I was providing them more opportunities and thus, no accidents. Now in the bathroom, I have them sit & try if they go, great, if not, we will try again next time. that way there is no pressure to perform so to speak. The toys or rewards seems to contribute to the pressure to perform, so I didn't use them, plus I'm not keen on giving a reward for doing things you are suppose to. Do you give one for going, but not for washing hands? why? they should wash hands too and if they do it shouldn't they get one for that too? just confused me and when I tried them, they didn't make a big difference with my first one. I live about 40 minutes away from town, so my biggest fear was being out & about with an accident. To allieviate some of those problems, I potty protected by car. I used ppuppy pads in the car seats. i then went to a garage sale and bought for like a quarter an item, 5 pants, 5 shorts, 5 short sleeve shirts, 5 long sleeve shirts, 5 under garments, 5 socks. so fo like $10.00 I had a packed car for any type of weather. I bought a box of 1 gallon zip lock bags & kept in the car to store soiled clothes till we got home to wash so car wouldn't stink. At home I began setting my watch timer to chime every 45 minutes and then I would have them go try, with no pressure to actually go. if they do, great reset watch, if not, then change watch to try again in 20, if they go, great reset for 45. If not, then set for 20. I used pull ups with my first
& it prolonged the process, so I wouldn't recommend using unless at a wedding or special event where changing clothes would be a problem, or spending the night with family memebers & you need to protect their beds. Otherwise, they create more trouble. Not for the child but you. You will know that if they have an accident, no biggie and won't be as diligent to give them the opportunities. Now, with my daughter, i had used the pull ups and it just caused more problems. She was older and started refusing to poop in the potty. i knew she could do it & understood that is what I wanted, but found out that until I made her want it as much as me, it wasn't gonna happen, so I sat her down & told her no more pull ups and that she was to go poop in the potty from now on and until she choose to do so, I choose to take away "her currency item" (this is whatever your child plays with, drinks, eats, or uses on a daily basis, that is not essential to their health.) for my daughter it was chocolate milk. Anyway, she tested me and she would ask for chocolate milk and I would ask her, Did you poop in the potty today? she would say no & I would say, well , then that is your answer. She understood quick and after 4 days, she called me into the bathroom where she had pooped onn her own and she was acreaming I did it! I did it! and she asked can I have chocolate milk? I asked did you poop in the potty today? and she got the biggest smile on her face and she answered YES! and I said the same thing as always, well that is your answer then. We had no more problems from then on. my daughter was using pull ups at night and was soaking even with water restriction etc.. so I didn't think she was ready for night training according to the books. However, she started getting these boils on her bottom & the Dr. advised getting rid of the pull ups. So I night trained both my kids at the same time. I couldn't handle all the laundry & accidents, so I devised this schedule and had no accidents again. i had them go at 8:00pm before bed and then i would get them back up with the house darkened at 10-11pm when I go to bed. I then set my watch alarm and got them back up around 1:30am, then they both would go until 6:00am, which is when we got up for the day. After about 2 months of that schedule, they told me they would go themselves and didn't need me to wake them up and we tried it and they have ever since! As for if you should wait or keep going depends on you. with a newborn, that first few weeks I was too exhausted to really be able to deal with it, but that was me. I'm not suer how long you have until #2 comes, but if you have 6 months, I'd probably try and get most of it taken care of before while it is still easy to go with him. Once you have # 2 it gets harder and if you breast feed you are even more tied up, so that is my opinion for what it is worth. Otherwise, you will be starting it once #2 is about 3 months. Hope this helps you. Oh & if you do decide to continue, then be sure to sit him down and explain what your expectations are. I told mine that they weren't babies anymore and so they had to say bye to the baby diapers. No more bottles, no more paci, & no more diapers. Big kids and Big people poop & pee in the potty. I just stated it like it is cause it is and didn't act as though I needed their approval. I did let them know that if they chose to go in their pants instead of the potty, then they would have to help with clean up. I had them wash clothes in tub and then I would wash them in tub and I used room temp water or cool water so that it wasn't pleasant and if they asked for hot water i explained that hot water is for night time baths and we only have so much, so during the day we have to use this water. this made accidents not pleasant. Best of luck to you and hope I have given you a few tips to make your training easier. Oh & sorry for the novel. LOL

I agree with letting him stay in diapers. I know you don't really want to bear the thought of two in diapers but in my opinion, my sanity is worth it. My son is only 15 months so we haven't crossed that bridge yet, but I have quite a few friends with boys and none of them were potty trained before 3. Not to say that it couldn't happen, I'm sure you'll get stories from people who did, but I don't think that's the norm. Plus, you don't want him to regress when the baby comes and then you'll have even more drama! Hang in there, it will happen...eventually! Don't rush it.

If the baby is due within the next three months, I would wait since many kids regress when a new baby arrives. After the baby is about two months old, try again, but go all the way, don't mess with pull ups at all. It will be really messy for a short amount of time, but in the end it will be totally worth it. My son was fully potty trained when he was 2 and 3 months old and I had an eight month old. It was totally worth all the poopy underwear I cleaned up.

In the weeks leading up to the "big day", boost your son's self-esteem by telling him what a great helper he is, and what a big boy he is, and then get into how big boys go potty in the big boy potty. Tell him on "x" day, he is going to start wearing big boy underwear and not diapers anymore. Let him see you throw them in the trash so he knows you're serious. I bought the thick cotton training pants since they hold in the mess. We went through about 6 pairs the first few days.

You'll have to stay home for a couple of days, which for me was hard. Just ask him if he needs to go every twenty minutes or so. Set a timer. I did resort to bribing with jelly beans just to get him to sit on the potty at first, but it didn't take long. Eventually he figured out that he didn't like being in wet/dirty underwear. It's amazing how much diapers/pull-ups suck away the wetness to wear it isn't uncomfortable for them. You have to make him uncomfortable in order for him to be motivated to stop playing and go.

In the first few days, I changed LOTS of poopy underwear. I wouldn't scold him, but I did say "yuck, poop goes in the potty", and I'd dump the poop out in the toilet. Peeing came a lot easier than pooping, but I stuck with it. Don't give up!

My husband and I made up songs about going potty, and he liked singing them with us, which got his mind off of "doing the deed", and when he wasn't thinking about it, he'd go. Once he crossed the hurdle of pooping for the first time in the potty, it was smooth sailing after that (although he would still have accidents).

Kids are a lot smarter than we give them credit for. If they know they're not going to get to wear diapers/pull ups anymore, training goes so much faster. (I let him try to lead his training for a few months, while wearing pull ups and got nowhere). I read somewhere that if you wait until "they're ready", then they're already trained, which is fine, but if you're like me, you won't want to be changing diapers x2 forever. Training involves helping them discover they are ready whether they like it or not.

Good luck!

I would wait. My pediatrician recommended not doing any major changes (potty training, big bed, etc.) two months before or after my second child was born. I potty trained my first son after my second was born, and having the baby with me didn't make it any harder ... the baby didn't care if we spent large portions of the day in the bathroom! I know once your son hits 3 you can start feeling societal pressure for him to be trained, but really it doesn't matter if you do it a few months later or a few months earlier. From your post, it sounds like your son can pee and poop without fear, but doesn't like to be interrupted from play? What I recommend is having a potty timer. Every time the timer rings, he goes potty. If he tries and comes without a huge fuss, he gets a reward, whether or not anything comes out. I'd start with 15 minutes, and then stretch that time as he goes accident-free. The main reason for using a timer is to reduce the struggle with "I don't have to go now" ... its not you who says he has to go, its the timer. I only used an actual timer for a day or two, then just kept a watch on the clock (more loosely) and would say 'potty timer' and surprisingly, it worked as well. Good luck!

Just wait! I tried soooo hard to have my daughter potty trained before my little guy arrived & all the work did NOT pay off. I stressed both of us out & she is still not potty trained and he is almost 4 months old. Shortly after we brought the baby home she started peeing on purpose. One time took off her panties and purposefully peed on her comforter. We went back to diapers completely. Pull-ups are just to expensive to use many each day. I wish I would have listened to everyone else saying wait. So, I say to you...don't stress yourself out & enjoy your little one while they are the only one. (and enjoy being pregnant). Eventually, they will figure it out.
Hope this helps!
A.