My Heart Is Broken

It is going to hurt but you must move on. Apparently the relationship you thought you had was not the one you do have. The person(s) involved have had a change of heart or it happened while you were pregnant. Whatever the reason the relationship/friendship has changed.

You don't say your age so you are probably young. There are others out there that will love both of you. Take time to heal from this relationship and move forward with what you want to do and do it.

the other S.

PS Time heals all wounds and makes the loss fade to distant memories.

I didn't entirely follow this...but, I think I get this gist. She has another life with another partner, right? I suggest you just move on with your life (and your baby). It will hurt but it will also get easier each day.

If your partner has legal custody of your baby with you, be prepared to get a lawyer, no matter how much you want to trust and love. Otherwise, move on. It will hurt like hell, but no one deserves this.

If they propose a poly-amorous family, don't agree out of love, because, well, I won't say it's not for anyone, but someone is the "odd man" out, and in this case, it would be you. Do you want that for you? your baby? No? Then move on, even though it hurts.

hugs
-e

I'm with NancyJBroaddus 1 on this one.

Misspelled some words? Really.... that should be the least of your worries.

I am so confused. Are you a man or a woman? Is the woman the bio parent or have any rights to your child?

I am so sorry you feel so broken and alone. I am not sure what the 4pm meeting will solve. The woman has moved on to another relationship and it doesn't appear she is looking back to you or the baby.

My advice would be to not get in another relationship for a loooong time. Your baby will not remember this woman at all and that is good. Your baby does not need a string of other women or men paraded in its life.

Please get yourself some emotional help so you can provide some stability for your baby. Focus on raising your child. Focus on yourself and creating a home for your child.

Stop looking to other people to make you happy and fulfilled.

My understanding:
You've been dating someone for a year and a half.
The person you have been dating is actually living with someone, and they have a child together.

It appears that although you didn't know it, you have been 'the other woman'. This person lied to you from the beginning. She is not who you think she is. You are in love with an illusion. Of course you are in shock, but you need realize that the person you love doesn't really exist, and you'll have to move on. The REAL person you have been involved with is a cheater and a liar, and doesn't deserve you.

Your baby likes her, but she's still a baby and in 6 months, won't even remember her.

I'm sorry. I'm confused.

You are bi-sexual? OR are you a male? If female, you had a baby (via IVF I presume) and was in a relationship with another girl. Now you find out the girl you love has been cheating on you.

You'll have a meeting at 4PM to discuss what? Really.

Let her go. Do you REALLY want a cheater in your life? Don't you think you deserve better than that? Seriously. This chick has been cheating on you and adopted a baby (and that doesn't really happen in one year) so she's been cheating on you BEFORE she met you.

Your baby will get over it.
I know it's hard to hear - but YOU WILL get over her.

There's really nothing to be confused about. Tell her they deserve each other and sever all ties with her.

Ditto to the folks who said the post is hard to follow... I suggest you slow down, write your post in full sentences WITH PUNCTUATION so your readers can understand your question and give you the advice you want.

That said... I can see that your world got turned upside down and it hurts. Unfortunately, it is really clear that you aren't the important relationship for her. She wasn't living with you and she wasn't being honest with you for the whole relationship. As someone else said, the adoption of the other baby had to have been in the works for several years. So you and your child were NEVER a family to her--she had another one and you two were the side. For your own good and the good of your child, you need to move on, heal, and eventually find someone who will fully value you both. Baby will forget her in a couple months maximum, and she needs you, her mama, to be sane and happy in a relationship where you are respected. Sorry that this happened to you and sending you good wishes.

I would suggest using some punctuation!! Get your thoughts organized and then write a short synopsis with a question. Your posts, although only two so far, are always very confusing and hard to follow. Thanks!

...And left out all punctuation.

What do you need advice on? Is this person the other parent to your child or did you get together during pregnancy? What's the meeting about?

So as I understand it, you're a female who was in a relationship with another woman that already had a live-in partner and she adopted a child with that partner. You were unaware of the fact that she was living with this other person as well. I guess I am surprised that for 1.5 years she successfully hid the other partner from you. I guess never allowing me to come to her home or not being able to spend the night or talk on the phone at night would have raised a red flag for me.

Anyhow, all you can do at this point is move on. She clearly picked the other person if she was living with that person all this time and even adopted a child with her. I think if the other person had any self-esteem, she'd dump your girlfriend as well, as someone like that doesn't deserve to have a relationship.

As others have mentioned, your child can easily get over her. Your baby is not even a year old, she can get attached to you and will eventually forget your girlfriend if she doesn't see her anymore. I don't know why you'd be in love with someone who hurt you so badly and used you for her own selfish pleasure. I'd want to get the heck away from someone like that, and would make every effort to keep my child away from such a selfish lowlife, so your guess about "I'm so in love with her and I don't even know exactly why?" is as good as mine.

As others have also mentioned, regardless of what this meeting may be about, there's nothing to talk about here, she LIED and CHEATED on BOTH you and her live-in girlfriend! Hello? How do you justify that, even if she's Megan Fox or some other hottie??! I'd strongly recommend against this meeting, how can something like this be conducive to anything or even positive? There will probably be a lot of yelling, heated emotions, high blood pressure, cussing, maybe even a punch or 2. It sounds like trouble and nothing good could come out of it.

Save yourself the trouble and drama and the waste of time that this "meeting" would be. If it were me, I'd kick her sorry butt to the curve, block her number, and move on, even if that means staying alone for the next 3-4 years. You can do it! Be strong! You deserve a loyal partner. I know it may not seem that way, but they DO exist. Just be patient. Your child needs you and depends on you, so you must force yourself to stay strong and sane for her sake! Seek therapy or counseling if you're having trouble staying strong and moving on. Nothing wrong with asking for help.